Jesus, Crazy , Jobs with PAP oChristo

Jesus, Crazy , Jobs with PAP oChristo

In the most outrageous Great Pumpkin Letter to date, Chief

Crazy Captain Christo has called an emergency council meeting

of the Past Pumpkin Healers together to decide what to do with

the former Apple Boss Steve Jobs. 

For those of you who are just coming out of a coma, Steve Jobs

recently passed away and is now residing in Pumpkin Ville and is

feeling a little bit lost.  You see, Mr. Jobs thought he was going to

be in Apple Heaven after he died.  He has been down in the dumps

for days on end and has even been heard to say about Pumpkin Ville,

“ And one more thing, this totally bytes.  Pumpkin Ville should be

completely wiped off the map.  If this was like Silicon Valley, I’d

show them one more thing or two!!!”

It was at the moment Steve Jobs said bytes that Chief Crazy Captain

Christo sprung into action.  Calling on the Past Pumpkin Healers, he

sent the message through the air to Jesus and Crazy Horse to meet

in the CENTER of PUMPKIN VILLE.  Once seated, the two GREATEST

PUMPKIN HEALERS of all time, Jesus and Crazy Horse confronted

Steve Jobs on his lack of emotion on being a part of Pumpkin Ville.

Jesus and Crazy Horse waited for Chief Crazy Captain Christo to arrive

on his Orange and Black Fast Tracker Truck Skateboard.  The two

pumpkin healers could only grin as they saw the cloud of dust that

would have made Pigpen proud.  Racing straight down the hill in a

bonzai stance, Chief Crazy Captain Christo was the picture of pure

insanity.  Reaching speeds of over 800 miles per hour, yes you read

that right 800 Miles per hour, he slowly put on the air brakes and

came to a complete stop.  Everyone, including Steve Jobs, marveled

at the calm, cool and collected nature of Chief Crazy Captain Christo.

Giving a high five to the GREAT PUMPKIN, Chief Crazy Captain Christo

looked around and stated, 

“ So this is the great Saint Stephen “

Now for the conversation between Chief Crazy Captain Christo, Jesus,

Crazy Horse and Steve Jobs.  For this conversation, Jesus’ name has

been changed to FAITH, Crazy Horse’s name has been changed to

HOPE, Chief Crazy Captain Christo’s name has been changed to

ORANGE DUDE and Steve Jobs name has been changed to

 CRAPPLE.  Enjoy the show!!!

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

CRAPPLE : idemand to know why Apple is not celebrated here in

Pumpkin Ville.  I worked all my life trying to make life easier for

people on Earth with the iMac, the iPad, the iTunes, the iPhone.

Here you morons, take a look at my speech at Stanford.”

It was after Steve Jobs ( aka CRAPPLE ) had his say, that JESUS

spoke thus,

FAITH : idemanded nothing of you CRAPPLE yet you insisted on

thinking different.   Behold, I come as a thief. Blessed is he that

watcheth, and keepeth his garments, lest he walk naked, and they

see his shame.

HOPE : FAITH, ibelieve that was my line.  I’m the thief here remember.

I am the thief of one hundred horses.  Come on FAITH get with the program

ORANGE DUDE : FAITH, HOPE is right.  Remember FAITH and HOPE why icalled

us all together.  Steve Jobs deserves an answer as to why he is crashing

every night in PUMPKIN VILLE.  He has no clue as to why PUMPKIN VILLE

even exists.  iam counting on you FAITH and HOPE to give CRAPPLE the

answer he is seeking.

CRAPPLE : Enough with the FAITH HOPE and CRAPPLE name calling. Why

cant’t you call us by our real names. My name is Steve Jobs and iran Apple.

isee Jesus and Crazy Horse and you Chief Crazy Captain Christo.,

WHO ARE YOU? Who who who who?

ORANGE DUDE : FAITH and HOPE, ican see this is going to take longer than

ithought.  it is time for drastic action.  Release the iperfection quota in

rounds of 360,000 and let Mr. CRAPPLE in on the greatest Halloween

legend ever produced.  It is called the PAP oCHRISTo

in Unison both FAITH and HOPE chimed in iiCaptain.  For FAITH and HOPE

knew that Mr.CRAPPLE  still had a lot of pent up apprehension about landing

in Pumpkin Ville.

After all, everyone on Earth just lost their JOBS.  But the voices in

Pumpkin Ville all chimed in to make an exquisite bright ORANGE iSing on

the Cake Cloud as they sang to Mr CRAPPLE

iCan see candy now the pain is gone

iCan see all Pumpkin Pies in my way.

It was when Steve Jobs looked around and opened his eyes FOR REAL

in Pumpkin Ville that he exclaimed ,

CRAPPLE :  iCare is all around me here. HMM,

maybe Chief Crazy Captain Christo isn’t such an iCLOD after all.  What did

he say his name was the ORANGE DUDE. 

After Steve Jobs got over his iNITIAL shock of being in Pumpkin Ville he

decided that he really did have a lot more to learn about LIFE and LOVE

that he didn’t even know existed.  Chief Crazy Captain Christo left

Jesus, Crazy Horse and Steve Jobs in Pumpkin Ville to iRON out some

more details.  Those three are going to be busy for awhile as they will

be working together , hmm iDON’T know, probably for iNFINITY times

three to get PUMPKIN VILLE ready for the next iPARTY Pooper to come

through.  As Chief Crazy Captain Christo was leaving Pumpkin Ville, he

remembered why he left.  He was determined to find PENELOPE CRUZ

come hell or high water.

Stay tuned to see if Chief Crazy Captain Christo ever finds the one and

only PENELOPE “ PUMPKIN “ CRUZ.

iRespectfully in iTRUTH,

iAuthor Christo Strom

iSole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels

iHead of Angel Promotions

P.S. On a much lighter ( and ORANGE ) note, if you are interested

in forming the CIRCLE OF LIGHT , the Orange Race will be running

in four states oHOPEFULLYo in 2012.  Wisconsin, Iowa, Nebraska and

Colorado.  Health and Wealth . See you there!

Orange Race : Orianthi's Guitar and Alice's Cane

Orange Race: Orianthi’s Finnieston Frankenstein

In a rare and increasingly dangerous fashion, Chief Crazy Captain

Christo went from the 1800’s with Alicia Keys to a slightly futuristic

concert appearance with Orianthi.

You see on Halloween 2011, Orianthi will be playing guitar for the

Alice Cooper band over in Scotland. Finnieston Glasgow, Scotland           

at the Clyde Auditorium to be exact.

So Chief Crazy Captain Christo disguised himself as the Orange Blob

of Light and boarded a cruise ship named the IRONIC.  Once aboard,

he said his prayers that no icebergs would damage the hull like the

TITANIC.  He got to his cabin and decided to stay there and sleep.

Once asleep, the nightmare began.  The ship did indeed hit an iceberg

and began to sink.  Chief Crazy Captain Christo jumped up and ran

out on the deck.  Pandemonium was everywhere.  People were

jumping overboard and landing in the frigid Atlantic Ocean.

He looked around and heard a rather loud band on deck playing

a song he had never heard before.  He looked closer and there she

was playing guitar.  It was Orianthi and next to her was a tuxedo

clad Alice Cooper with top hat and rocking cane. 

Now here is the conversation as it went down between Orianthi,

Alice Cooper and Chief Crazy Captain Christo.

Orianthi’s name has been shortened to OR.

Alice Cooper’s name has been shortened to AL

and Chief Crazy Captain Christo’s name has been shortened to

JUST PLAIN CRAZY.  Enjoy!

OR: Are you Chief Crazy Captain Christo?

JUST PLAIN CRAZY : Yes I am but you and Alice were supposed to be

in Glasgow Scotland tonight.  I was going to surprise you as the Orange

Blob of White Lightning Fire as a special trick I learned hanging out with…

Alice Cooper interrupted JUST PLAIN CRAZY

AL: Orange Blob of White Lightning Fire ey?  Who put you up to this?

Is Rob Zombie going to jump out and say BOO!!!???

JUST PLAIN CRAZY: No, I do my own special effects.  Why aren’t you in

Scotland on Halloween?  Isn’t it about show time?

OR: We are in Scotland.  This is just a figment of your imagination. You are

sleeping right now. You were worried that the cruise ship IRONIC was

going to hit an iceberg.  Well, it did and Alice and I just showed up to

tell you that you had better grab a hold of my guitar and Alice’s Cane.

We are in charge of our own special effects.  Ready, Chief, Hang on!

Chief Crazy Captain Christo was treated to a rocking great show in Scotland

thanks to Orianthi’s Guitar and Alice Cooper’s Cane.  He did wake up with

a bump on his head though and a note from Alice.  It read Happy Halloween

now GET OFF MY STAGE, I’ve got a show to do!  But before he left, he asked

Orianthi to write a 3 or 4 Minute song for the Orange Race. 

So Chief Crazy Captain Christo decided to fly back to the States and resume

his search for Penelope Cruz.  Will he ever find her in time to save the Great

Pumpkin?  Stay Tuned!

Respectfully in TRUTH,

Author Christo Strom

Sole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels

Head of Angel Promotions

Gavin George Law: One Four One Know

Gavin Law: G. P. ONE FOUR ONE KNOW- An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

Chief Crazy Captain Christo takes time out to grieve for a child he has yet to meet. It is one of the saddest stories ever. Brace yourself and reach for the sky. Don't forget the tissues. This without a doubt is a call to my higher power. With all the strength of 2000 Daniels, Chief Crazy Captain Christo is barring the flood gates. This is Gavin Law's Official Great Pumpkin Letter for 2010. In order to understand Gavin Law, here is a short run down of his short time here in Minnesota. Gavin was born with a rare birth disorder that I can't pronounce but it is spelled mitochondriopathy( I hope it is spelled right:) Here it is explained in a nut shell. His little body could not grow. After nine months in pain, he passed away on January 4th 2010.



THIS VIDEO WAS MADE ONE YEAR TO THE DAY GAVIN GEORGE LAW LEFT THE LAW FAMILY
PLEASE KNOW THIS WAS MADE FOR HIS LOVING FAMILY. PEACE BE WITH YOU.

+(~~+~~)+       +(~~+~~)+       +(~~+~~)+    




I first learned of Gavin Law after watching KTSP Channel Five's Bill Lunn and Leah McLean introduce Susanna Song. She told the story of Gavin Law and I just lost it. It broke the Heart of Chief Crazy Captain Christo but the Spirit will never be broken. Here in it's excruciatingly painful prayer request is Chief Crazy Captain Christo standing before The Great Pumpkin in the sky with his prayer request for Gavin Law. Chief Crazy Captain Christo is on his knees before The Great Pumpkin and he waits for The Great One to call him forward.

With a slight wink of his left eye, The Great One ( author's note: The Great One is The Great Pumpkin) motions for Chief Crazy Captain Christo to rise up and speak his mind. Without stopping to dry his eyes and with the tears a flowing, Chief Crazy Captain Christo rises and speaks ( for Gavin)

For this conversation , Chief Crazy Captain Christo is known as T-REX because whenever a sad story like this one hits him in the face, he needs tissues and he's like a two shipwrecks in the night. The Great Pumpkin is going to be known in this piece as G's LAW.

T-REX: " Oh Great One, I stand before you sober as a judge and with no boos or no tricks. Just a simple
request for one who never had a chance. I stand before you to ask you to make the life of Gavin Law a call to action for EVERYONE. He had such a short life and it pains me to say this but he never had a chance to experience what it feels like to GROW. I ask that you bring peace to his parents on Earth and to remind me everday of your Willingness to GROW. You of all beings should know that without GROWTH one cannot SEEK. How would you like it if no one could SEEK you? You would be nothing more than a Fabrication of Truth.

G's LAW: " Chief Crazy Captain Christo. Stop before you injure yourself. I have already thought of that. I have decided to take your words of wisdom and from now on in Pumpkin Ville, there will be a name change. I have taken Gavin George Law's name for the time being. You might want to take notes Chief Crazy Captain Christo. First off, the letter G shall be elevated over Seven times. You shall contact all the stars of the movie Nine. Every last one of them. You shall meet in Omaha Nebraska on July 9th 2010 to discuss the building of a Theatre Tree House. I noticed in your past Pumpkin Letters that you only were building for a little American Girl. Well , this is your American Boy. I know who the American Girl is and looks like you are doing a great job of keeping it quiet. The American Boy is with me now and he is safe. Tell Gavin's parents what I have told you. Wait I am not finished. From now on Pumpkin Ville shall be known as Pumpkin Vine. The SEVENTH LAW of Pumpkin Vine will be known as Gavin's Law or G'S LAW. Gavin George Law. I will hold you accountable Chief Crazy Captain Christo to keep holy the G's LAW. Thank you for remembering and as always Chief Crazy Captain Christo, don't let the Door hit you where the Good Lord split you. Hey here take this with you."

T-REX:" What is this?"

G's LAW: " It is called HOPE and FAITH. Take it with you and give it to Gavin's parents. Form a fantastic stadium and when you sing a song at a concert for GAVIN sometime after the stadium is built, please do not forget to invite Gavin's parents and the whole Channel Five ensemble to hear you sing Gavin's Song. Ok Chief ok then you can go. Now remember Chief BE GOOD!

T-REX: " Happy O-Range Limelight Ya-hulaversaille Bringing In Baby Law Everone"

G's LAW: " Thank you for remembering to leave the Limelight on for Gavin. Now go and make like the O-Range Blob of Light that you are. Ride like the Winding O-Range Red Lightning Divine

Intermission-: This has been an abbreviated version of The Great Pumpkin Letters in honor of:

Gavin George Law : April 3, 2009- January 4th 2010.

Apple Valley , Minnesota

Roger Waters: When Linus Hit The Wall

Author Christo Strom
Sole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels
Head of Angel Promotions

Roger Waters: When Linus Hits The Wall

In a stunning move of unabashed bravado, Chief Crazy Captain Christo
screamed at Roger Waters to play the song MOTHER.  for Linus Van Pelt
For the Great Pumpkin, for every child who still believes in the Great
Pumpkin.  You can see Roger Water's response right here, and you will
notice that Roger Waters was paying attention and he heard
Chief Crazy Captain Christo.  You can see him pointing right at Chief
Crazy Captain Christo at 00.07 in the video. 
And to that I, Chief Crazy Captain Christo will be
forever Grateful to Roger Waters.  One last thing Roger, if you ever pay
attention to these sort of things, Chief Crazy Captain Christo is asking you
to be one of the panels on a SIX PANEL RACE CARD ( Video Screens+++)
kind of like a Peanuts cartoon but with real famous musicians, including
another bass player by the name of Phil Lesh.
So Roger Waters what say you, will you be a part of the greatest communication
event in history, " How to Erase the National Debt" More details in 2011 so
please STAY TUNED.

Respectfully in TRUTH,

Chief Crazy Captain Christo
aka
Christo Strom
Sole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels
Head of Angel Promotions

P.S. When Linus Hits THE WALL is the best part of It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie
Brown, so the next videos please enjoy!

How to Erase the National Debt-Starting +++January 4th 2011-+++

Great Pumpkin Letters hitting the Big Time
( Are you ready Rob Zombie?)

Author Christo Strom

Sole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels

Head of Angel Promotions

How to Erase the National Debt-Starting +++ January 4th, 2011

Christo Strom’s Orange Race Card Angels, the only company

on the Planet ( this is Planet Earth right?) to even attempt to

erase the national debt. In case you are wondering what national

debt I am talking about, it is the United States of America’s

National Debt. Hovering as I type in the Thirteen to Fourteen

Trillion dollar range. If it were a UFO, it would be seen by

everyone but the United States Government would spin it as

something completely different, like a Monty Python sketch.

Anyways, back to How to Erase the National Debt. My semnar

series ( not a misprint, semnar means the mn in the middle is

the starting point in Minnesota, and that means only in

Minnesota for the entire year of 2011+++! There is no turning

back once January 4th 2011 rolls around. My ass is going to be

on the line and it will get done. No I am not going to allow any

politicians at my semnar. This is for people in the United States

of America who are tired of all the B.S. that flows out of the mouths

of ALL Politicians. Wake up now, and follow a simple plan. I am

making this extremely easy. Those who attend and are ready for

REAL KICK ASS and LIGHTNING QUICK recoveries, by all means

possible pay attention. How many jobs do you think could be

created in the next three years by tackling the job of erasing the

National Debt? I am only asking for One percent of the American

population to become ORANGE RACE CARD ANGELS. We will

have a rockin great time in the next three years!

Respectfully in TRUTH,

Chief Crazy Captain Christo

P.S. Senator Colby Coash of Lincoln Nebraska and Rebecca Otto

State Auditor of Minnesota are the only exceptions. If they

choose to become ORANGE RACE CARD ANGELS, they will be

accepted on one condition. I RUN THE SHOW++++++

The King and Di's Eleventh Step- Man Overboard!

May 5th 2010
Author Christo Strom

Post reprinted by Author's permission ( that's me!)
First posted on Sooper Articles in January 2010

Lady Di: The King and Di's Eleventh Step- An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

Warning: This edition of The Great Pumpkin Letters deals with real DEATH! If the thought of a pleasant AFTER-LIFE scares you please go no further. Step aside Steven King, it's time for the sacrifice of O'NE ( Author: Christo Strom )

Chief Crazy Captain Christo was sailing on the high seas one day in 2010 when a sight he had never seen before caught his roving eyes. Out on the horizon, a beautiful blond princess was dancing with a King. It was like they were dancing with the stars on top of the ocean. But they were not on a ship or a boat or any kind of sea faring vessel. No they were dancing on thin air. It was a most enjoyable vision to see two individuals dancing so wrecklessly and yet so happy! Her face was all aglow and her steps were pure and light. The funny thing was it was pitch black outside and the moon was no where to be found. Yet the light kept getting brighter and brighter! And it was beckoning the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo to come forward. On closer inspection he realized it was Lady Diana. She smiled her radiant smile and in the clarity of the moment whispered for the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo to take eleven steps off the bow to reach her.

Now for the conversation between Chief Crazy Captain Christo and Lady Di. For this part, Lady Di is going by the name of La dd ( author's note: it is a silent L so it is pronounced a dd meaning after Diana's death). Chief Crazy Captain Christo is going by the name of BOW ( Blessed Orange Wood)

We pick the conversation up before Chief Crazy Captain Christo takes the first step off the bow of his ship.

La dd: “ Ahoy Chief Crazy Captain Christo it is I, Lady Diana from England. Won't you come join me for a midnight dance beneath the heavens?”

BOW: “ Wow, Lady Di. You look absolutely ravishing in your O-Range Maroon Gown that really isn't a gown is it? Who does your airbrushing?” Chief Crazy Captain Christo knew right away that Lady Diana, the would be Queen of England was without a stitch of clothing. So he cut away at one of his sails and gave her an Orange and Black Sailors skirt and left her topless.

La dd: “ If you are going to dress me, take me to Richard Branson's island at once. I demand to see him because I have a few choice words to get off my chest.”

BOW: “ Any particular reason you have to see Richard?”

La dd: “ Yes as a matter of fact there is. There's a man up here named Heath Ledger and he won't get off my Brokeback Mountain.”

BOW:” Really, you can see Heath Ledger? Would you mind telling Heath that I have a little girl down here that would really like it if he could help organize a get together to build a Theatre Tree House. By orders of The Great Pumpkin I have to organize it or else”

La dd:” Or else what?”

BOW:” Or else he is going to make me walk the plank in front of the bank to get run over by an army tank filled with explosives. Why else would I be so frantic about building this tree house. The Great One as I like to call him doesn't demand much more than everything you got. Since I can see you and you can see Heath, I figure if we put our heads together we can come up with something cool. What say you Lady Di? Will you help out a Captain in need?:

La dd:” Where and when do you want us to show up Chief Crazy Captain Christo?”

BOW:” Between the dates of July 9^th 2010 and Eternity just to be on the safe side”

La dd:” Forget Richard Branson's island. We've got work to do. Heath darling let's get your ledger on board and go to Nebraska.”

Tears started to flow off of the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo's face and landed in the salty sea. The King he had noticed dancing with Lady Di was Heath Ledger! It was then that Chief Crazy Captain Christo had noticed he had walked off the stern side of the ship and on his Eleventh step plunged face first into the frigid icy water. The King Ledger threw him a life preserver and let out a cackle and responded with a shout of “ Damn Yankee Rookie!” This has been another abbreviated edition of The Great Pumpkin Letters. Stay tuned America. Hollywood you are seriously lacking any creativity. Grant Heslov, and Kevin Costner and Clint Eastwood yall are pale faces in comparison to Chief Crazy Captain Christo. Yo Ho Yo Ho Yo Ho Outta my whey cause someone is going to get hurt and it aint Chief Crazy Captain Christo you boneheads of Cinematic Rubbish! I dare everyone of you Hollywood Directors to show up in Omaha on July 9^th 2010 to face the fire. Guaranna, get your guns! It's SHOWTIME!!!!!!!!!! Warning this is not a drill! Time to PAY the PIE Purr! If your Pen does not write a check on the piece of paper marked with an O-Range X- let's just say this is ELIMINATION TIME!!!!!!! Respectfully in TRUTH ( CCCC You Later Boyzzzz!)

Sheri Moon Zombie- S.O.S. for $ 630 Million

May 2nd 2010
Author Christo Strom

SHERI MOON ZOMBIE- S.O.S. for $630 Million

Author's Note: ( The S.O.S. in the title is kind of like a
double edged sword with four different meanings. But
the author will give you the real meaning first and the
last three you'll have to make them up for your self!)

S.O.S. ( an obvious cry for help from a "Crazy" )
S.O.S.- in this post means " Strom's Onto Something!"

Now I have submitted this post before on Sooper Articles
and it is one of 44 Great Pumpkin Excerpts but before I
add this post, I would like to pre-face the post with a bit
of insane money fundraising for one ROB ZOMBIE.

Since he is more than likely too busy on his current touring
schedule to react to my posts, I thought I would try something
a little different. I'll go straight to his boss, Sheri Moon Zombie!

So Sheri, here's the deal! I am going to start in Minnesota
to erase the National Debt which is at $12 Trillion Dollars.
I think that raising $ 630 Million Dollars for your husband
Rob to make Seven Films should be a drop in the bucket.

It's going to take a massive exchange of ideas on my part
to get this thing rolling but I am prepared to do the work.
I just thought you would want to know I am on your guy's
side and I will help you all out any way that I can. If
that's ok with you and Rob Sheri! After all , you and Rob
are my favorite Zombie's!!!

Take Care Mrs. Zombie! Here's the reprint of your
Great Pumpkin Letter

Sheri Moon Zombie: Mayhem and The Great One- An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

Chief Crazy Captain Christo was going out of his mind one particular day in January 2010. You see, the Good Chief had just found out that the Mayhem tour was going to be starting in California on July 10^th. And his mind was reeling really fast. All the thoughts of pulling off the GREATEST SPEECH ever spoken were quickly being dashed against the ROCKS of TIME! To bring you up to speed, the Mayhem tour is a big ol Metal fest starring Rob Zombie, Korn, Lamb of God, Five Finger Death Punch, In This Moment and a slew of other hard rockin, fist pumpin, take no prisoners types that create for better or worse, MAYHEM. Anyway, since their wheels are in gear for their shows, no need to bother them for assistance. They have their own gigs going and that is fine. Except for one thing. Rob Zombie, can you send your wife? On July 9^th, 2010, the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo, come hell or high water, is going down to Omaha Nebraska and set up for an impressive speech. So for this particular abbreviated Great Pumpkin Letter, the Good Chief is transforming himself to L.A. To meet with none other than Rob Zombie's wife, Sheri Moon Zombie.

For this conversation, Sheri Moon Zombie is filming Rob in an upcoming video. She is taking a short break when Chief Crazy Captain Christo, in a stunning move of unabashed bravado, scoops her up and is talking to her on the fly. He is disguised as the O-Range Blob of Lightning with a dash of Guacamole Sauce. Sheri is going by the name of SHERI-ZO. Chief Crazy Captain Christo is going by the name of ORBLA-GUACAM. Since Chief Crazy Captain Christo is in charge here, the conversation takes place up in the air. Enjoy!!!

SHERI-ZO-” Hey you! Put me down this instant or I will have Rob take care of you in one of his upcoming videos. You will be Zombie stomped into oblivion.”

ORBLA-GUACAM-” Hey relax Sheri, it is I, Chief Crazy Captain Christo. I just wanted to introduce myself to you in a well I'm not exactly sure what I am doing here but oh yeah. I wanted to help your husband Rob with a little fund raising for a SEVEN MOVIE DEAL. It would have been real easy to do on July 9^th 2010 until I learned that your husband had inked a deal to do the Mayhem tour. That is ok since I believe that has got to be a great way to make a living.”

SHERI-ZO:” How can you carry me and fly at the same time? And why should we trust you?”

ORBLA-GUACAM-” Fair enough questions. I'll answer the second one first. The reason you should TRUST me is this. I have learned a great deal by writing down some observations. My first observation is this. America needs to turn the ship around because it is sinking! By writing about what is wrong, without preaching doom and gloom, I believe a few positive words to the right influential people, can be a great place to start. I am trying to get a Theatrical Tree house built for a little American girl. Since Rob is probably in tune to a theatrical kind of show, I thought that once this tree house gets built, the SEVEN MOVIE DEALwould be a piece of cake to set up.

SHERI-ZO: “ Again Chief Crazy Captain Christo! Why should we TRUST you?!!”

ORBLA-GUACAM:” OK Sheri here it is! Ready or not. I have thought up this stadium design that is based on super cooperation between musicians, professional athletes, doctors, internet marketers, restaurant owners and dancers. The design will be unveiled sometime soon when all the pieces fall into place. I could use some of Rob's unique insights to go along with the planning stages. Of course, it will be based on a Halloween stage theme and a Happy Go Lucky harvest agenda. No sad sacks allowed if you know what I mean. It is all about overcoming adversity and shining in a most outrageous display of FUN! No one stage will be present for longer than thirteen weeks so it will always be changing to suit the needs of the performers. Comprende?”

SHERI-ZO:” Ok Chief Crazy Captain Christo I can relate to that. Now answer the first question. How can you carry me and fly at the same time?”

ORBLA-GUACAM:” Great Pumpkin rule #Seven- Listen to RUSH's Fly By Night before attempting any type of Zombie pick up line!”

SHERI-ZO: “ Oh Rob will love that one! Thanks Chief Crazy Captain Christo. I'll try to persuade Rob for you.”

ORBLA-GUACAM:” Thanks Sheri. And tell Rob that Chief Crazy Captain Christo would be forever grateful to plan the Tree House with some of Rob's ideas. Let's get this done!”

SHERI-ZO:” Wow! That was a cool flight! Hey there's Rob now...”

And with that Chief Crazy Captain Christo flew back to resume his sail around the world. Penelope Cruz where are you? This has been another edition of The Great Pumpkin Letters. Stay tuned for more to come in 2010 and beyond!

P.S. ( that's Pumpkin Scrypt!) Perhaps we will meet and discuss this in person
in 2011. I will be mainly in MN but like I said in the Great Pumpkin Letters,
I hang out in Minnesota, Nebraska and Colorado. You see you gotta believe
in foolish miracles ( I got that one from a regular " John" !)

Respectfully in TRUTH

Chief Crazy Captain Christo

In Search of--ORANGE RACE CARD ANGELS

May 1st 2010
Author Christo Strom

In Search of ORANGE RACE CARD ANGELS

Greetings everybody!

Christo Strom here with exciting news for everyone
who wants to become an

ORANGE RACE CARD ANGEL

Yes, there are actual steps to become one.
It aint easy so here is the steps to take.

You can sign up for details at

http://www.orangeracecardangels.com

On or about June 2010

Step by step instructions
to become an

ORANGE RACE CARD ANGEL

will be explained in emails once you sign up
It is that simple.
But like I said before it aint easy.

You see, to become an

ORANGE RACE CARD ANGEL

you have to believe there is a simple way
to erase the national debt together!

I'll stop right there because I know some of you
already said F*** That!

Well if you are one of those , you are already

DISQUALIFIED.

For those of you who want to find out more
sign up June 2010 to January 12th 2011

What? ( Rob Zombie's song thumpin in the background)

After January 12th 2011, you will have to wait till 2012
to sign up. Sorry but those are the rules and you need
to know there will be rules.

Respectfully in TRUTH

Chief Crazy Captain Christo

P.S. ( that's Pumpkin Script) The Great Pumpkin will
be so proud!

Snoopy Part 7 of 7: Joe " Cool " Mauer

April 19th 2010
Author Christo Strom
Special Post Alert Special Post Alert Special Post Alert

" Have I died and gone to heaven?
Today Joe "Cool" turns Twenty Seven
So on this day I thought I'd try
A little trick with Pumpkin Pie

So here we go for " Smokeless Joe"
A Twin Cities Favorite Hometown, yeah know
I now give you the Ultimate Pumpkin Letter
Great doesn't even describe this one
Because he keeps getting better and better

Snoopy Part 7 of 7 : Joe "Cool" Mauer
Enter Chief Crazy Captain Christo to start off
The Festivities>

For this , the longest version of the Great Pumpkin Letters,
Chief Crazy Captain Christo is going to throw in a curveball.
He will be shown here as Spike In Nine ( kind of like Frankenstein
but more of a Dogtown feel if you know what I mean!) Spike in
Nine will be shortened down to S.I.N.

Joe " Cool " Mauer, in a spectacular and thrilling change of pace,
will not be shown as Baby Jesus. But will be shown as J.C.

So without further ado or delays of game, I give you the Ultimate
version of The Great Pumpkin Letters in its entirety.
Author's note( this version might take all season long or perhaps
as long as Joe Mauer stays in the Game. Author has no control
over Joe's Career but wishes to offer this advice. STAY HEALTHY!)

S.I.N. " Happy Birthday Joe " Cool " Mauer. You know in dog years
you'd be like buried under the pitchers mound. Your twenty seven years
times seven you'd be like one hundred and eighty nine years"

J.C. -" Gee thanks a lot Chief Crazy Captain Christo. You sure know how
to make a guy feel old. How old are you in dog years, like a thousand?"

S.I.N. " More like two thousand Joe. You see I have been around the
block quite a few times. You could say I'm a Block Head."

J.C.-" So I'm just curious. Why are you writing The Great Pumpkin Letters
and what is with the J.C. and the S.I.N. in this Great Pumpkin Letter. It's
my birthday for heaven's sake"

S.I.N. - " Exactly Joe and I will wish you a happy birthday at the end. Now to
explain a little bit of why you are Snoopy Part 7 of 7. Well there are Seven versions
of who Snoopy is in The Great Pumpkin Letters. You see Joe, I chose you because
you represent the ultimate Snoopy. Number seven obviously that is your number.
You guard Home plate from trespassers ( the visiting team) Home plate reminds me
of Snoopy's doghouse and now that you and the Minnesota Twins are playing outdoors,
it is just a perfect fit. Plus you are a hometown hero. Also the bat you swing is made of
wood and I mean if the woods could talk there'd be the little birdy woodstock. You know
Joe " Cool " Mauer I think .....

J.C. " Sorry for interrupting Chief Crazy Captain Christo, but my family is arriving for the
big celebration. It was nice talking to you. Say how come you didn't say anything about my new salary?

S.I.N. - " Let's just say I have the utmost respect for what you do and who you are. Besides which I just started a new company called Orange Race Card Angels. My only job left on Earth is to see that I gather the right people together to eliminate the National Debt once and for all. Happy Birthday Joe " Cool " Mauer. With all my heart, I wish you many more!

Respectfully in Truth

Chief Crazy Captain Christo

P.S. Every two months I will come back and edit this piece below the P.S ( that's Pumpkin Script) Now who wants Pumpkin Pie for dessert. I do I do! With lots of whipped cream and
a side of Circle Me Sure Bet!!!!

Orange Race Card Angels: Metal Wood Fire

Orange Race Card Angels: Metal Wood Fire
Author Christo Strom

April 17th 2010

In a Great Pumpkin Letter first, the format for today's Great Pumpkin Letter
is going to be to promote the Grand Opening of an offline business

Starting on January 4th 2011,

ORANGE RACE CARD ANGELS

is going to be a major player in the TWIN CITIES MINNESOTA.

Metal Wood Fire is one of the twelve slogans that will be in place
by 1/4/11. Much explanations will be forthcoming in the next eight to
nine months so please Subscribe to my video channels to stay abreast
of all the happenings coming your way.

Respectfully in TRUTH

Chief Crazy Captain Christo

P.S. ( that's Pumpkin Script:) Stay Tuned Everyone, the National Debt
Clock is still ticking. Do you hear what it is saying to you?

Alice Cooper 2010 : Midnight Frankenstein ( Part 2 of 6)

April Fifth 2010 Happy Birthday JC
Author Christo Strom

Alice Cooper 2010: Midnight Frankenstein ( Part 2 of 6)

In a miraculous comeback from the jaws of Death, Chief
Crazy Captain Christo is throwing in a curveball. You see
the title of this post is the most important title Alice Cooper
and Rob Zombie will ever see in their lifetime. I will explain
it like this. I put this post in so I can come back and finish it
at a later date. It has very significant ramifications for timing.
I made a promise to a five year old boy around nine years ago and I
intend to keep my promise. Remember this NINE!

Respectfully in TRUTH,

Chief Crazy Captain Christo

P.S. ( that's Pumpkin Script!) I will be going back to
Alice in Blunderland to finish parts 2-6. I am just using a
ploy called FORE SHADOWING ( not a golfers term but it could be!)

Alice Cooper 2010: Alice In Blunderland Part 1 of 6

April Fourth 2010 Happy Easter Alice Cooper!

Alice Cooper 2010 : Alice in Blunderland ( Part 1 of 6)

Author Christo Strom

Alice Cooper: Blunderland

Chief Crazy Captain Christo had a choice to make. The year was 2010 and by all accounts

his world was crashing in all around him. Penelope Cruz was no where to be found. After

searching the world over, Chief Crazy Captain Christo was about to throw in the towel when

all of a sudden a lightning bolt of TRUTH eased its way into his mind. But of course. It is

pure genius. The key to pulling off the Greatest Feat of all time. What is the key you ask.

Pull up a chair and I will tell you. The key to pulling this off is this, are you sitting down? Ready:

ALICE COOPER ALICE COOPER ALICE COOPER

Super Duper We got Cooper! I can see the headlines now. Chief Crazy Captain Christo, along

with Rob Zombie and Alice Cooper. Together they will not only find Penelope Cruz, but amazingly

enough Rob Zombie will someday rule the Oscars and the Cannes Film Festival when this seven

picture deal is inked, filmed and in the Cannes as they say in the Biz. First things first. Must find

Alice Cooper.

So without wasting a lightning second, Chief Crazy Captain Christo floats up river to the Great White North of Canada. He is half expecting to be greeted with open arms and a hearty guffaw, but

is rebuked when he accidentally pisses off a security guard.

“ Get the F*&% Off Alice Cooper's stage,” the muscle bound no neck bellowed. But Chief Crazy Captain Christo would have none of that kind of talk.

“ Back off EGOR or I'll turn you into a talking toadstool. Yeah shit for brains, I'm talking to you!

Get outta my way. I need to talk to your boss.”

The grip of EGOR's hand around Chief Crazy Captain Christo's neck was the equivalent of having a 2000 lb vice grip squeezing the life out of you. Painfully slow and fade to black. When he came to about thirty minutes later, he was backstage at the Alice Cooper Camp and a mysterious man with a stethoscope was listening to Chief Crazy Captain Christo's heart.

“ Yep, he's got one!” said the mysterious man with the stethoscope. “ Chief Crazy Captain Christo's got a heart!” That voice, that voice he had heard a billion times before. The mysterious man was none other than Alice Cooper! Hooray, I wanna be elected! But before Chief Crazy Captain Christo could get a word out about his plans to build a Thea Tree House down in Omaha Nebraska, Alice Cooper quickly retorted,

“ Names Chief Crazy Captain Christo names. In all of your other Great Pumpkin Letters, you give everyone names. Like Rob Zombie you gave the name of AZ-MA. If you are going to set me up with a name do it like in your other Great Pumpkin Letters or I walk!”

The narrator steps in. Very Well. For the rest of this Great Pumpkin Letter, Alice Cooper will go by the name of Per CE ( prononced Per Say in Canada and Per Key in USA and Per Si in South America)

Chief Crazy Captain Christo will be going by the name of Key Per. Is that better Alice?

Per CE: “ I bet you are wondering why I had my guard EGOR put a sleeper hold on you. We knew you were coming up to Canada and we have a surprise for you Chief Crazy Captain Christo. But before Rob and I tell you what the surprise is, I just want to point some thing out to you. You did a Great Pumpkin Letter about Bert Blyleven and well I just want to point something out to you. You stated and I quote “ that Canton Ohio can take a back seat.” You had the greatest speech on a baseball field ever and you ruined it by flubbing the line. Where is the Baseball Hall of Fame Chief Crazy Captain Christo?”

Key Per: “ Hey before I answer that one can I ask you one question Alice? What movie was released with Robert Downey Jr. about that detective from England I think”

Per CE: “ That movie would be SHERLOCK HOLMES”

Key Per: “ All right then, to answer your question Alice about me flubbing the line , my answer to you Alice Cooper is this , NO SHIT SHERLOCK. I know I flubbed the line but it was my first draft. Kind of like the first Draft beer you might have drank a long time ago when you knew that continuation on this kind of path would leave to a life of ruin. Am I correct Sherlock Cooper?

Per CE( with a slight tear forming on his right eye) “ OK , you got me Chief , I'm Listening.”

Key Per: “ Yeah I know where the Baseball Hall of Fame is and the point I am trying to make is this.

How the Hell can I try to get through to anyone with so many damn gate keepers blocking true brilliance from getting through?”

This has been another abbreviated edition of The Great Pumpkin Letters. Part One of Six to be lengthened out to Part three of Eighteen. After all, it will be Eighteen and I like it. Stay Tuned!

Big Government and The Easter Egg

Saturday April Third ( Easter Eve )
Author Chief Crazy Captain Christo

Sent in Place of The Great Pumpkin
Enjoy!

In a stunning and incredible turn of events
Chief Crazy Captain Christo has decided
to take on
Big Government and The National Debt.

You see, the Statue of Liberty is Speechless.
So Chief Crazy Captain Christo is giving her

A VOICE with a CHOICE

Here in it's painfully funny Glory B to the Highest
is the Conversation recorded between
Chief Crazy Captain Christo and Lady Liberty (S^O^L)

Conversation between Chief Crazy Captain Christo and The Statue of Liberty

CCCChristo: "So I says to the Landlady , I will go and ask Pigpen from Days gone by, you know Pigpen from Grateful Dead days gone by,
and Pigpen from Charles Schultz Days gone by, and I will slay this DRAGON with PURE CUNNING HONEY"

S^O^L( Statue of Liberty): "But who are you again? Everyone knows me Chief Crazy Captain Christo. I am a gift from The French!"

CCCChristo:" Ahh yes, a gift from the FRENCH! A WENCH from the FRENCH. Hey you know what Lady Liberty, I love French's Mustard"

S^O^L ( rolling her eyes) " Oh not another Mustard Joke!"

CCCChristo : " Why can't you stand another Mustard Joke? Anyways, as I was saying, the reason I love French's Mustard is the color it represents.
You see I believe it represents the color of every Politician whoever has been elected to office, from the President of the United States to everyone below him.
From Supreme Court Justices, to House of Representatives to the Senate and Blah Blah Bloated Overpaid Windbags who claim to
" Represent the People"

S^O^L: " So You are saying Big Government and everyone involved are Chickens?"

CCCChristo: " B-I-N-G-O , we have a winner from The Ellis Island the Lady holding the Torch. In case you want to know why, I am posting this on EASTER EVE.
The reason as such My Lady is this . WARS AND The National DEBT. Oh by the way, you can catch my SPEECHES coming after July 9th 2010.
I will explain in PLAIN ENGLISH how to SLAY the NATIONAL DEBT using a FAMILY of AMERICAN VOLUNTEERS.

S^O^L: " How do you think you are going to accomplish this feat since no one has ever attempted this rather daunting task"

CCCChristo: " One Speech at a time, Five minutes or Less on YOUTUBE, Starting MAY First. Till then Keep the Light on My Lady"

S^O^L: " Can you give me two reasons I should listen to you Chief Crazy Captain Christo? "

CCCChristo:" I'll give you two reasons yeah sure here they are. You know that thing called LIFE and DEATH? You know the debate has been
going on for centuries about Life after Death. Well here's something to think about. You people on Earth haven't even figured out the answer
to WHAT CAME FIRST : The CHICKEN or The EGG. If you can't even come up with the answer to that question, what on Earth
are you doing trying to figure out Life after Death questions?"

Stay TUNED AMERICA and President Obama and Former Presidents still living.
As Jimi Hendrix would say , " I'm coming to GETCHA!:)


Respectfully in TRUTH,

Chief Crazy Captain Christo

P.S. ( that's Pumpkin Script!) Now who wants some Pumpkin Pie?

Tom Barnard: Que Q with Chief Crazy Captain Christo

March 29th 2010
Author Christo Strom

Originally found on SOOPER ARTICLE site
Reprinted with Author's permission (that's Me!)

Enjoy! Please leave a comment and if you want
write down how long you think I should let
Tom Barnard have his animation piece filmed
for in an upcoming Rob Zombie movie. That is,
if I can get Rob Zombie to agree! Sorry Tom:(
__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__

Tom Barnard: Que Q- An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

Chief Crazy Captain Christo has a plan to S-talk the radio airwaves. I know that may sound

a little corny but listen and learn. It is simply a-mai-zing. Understanding Tom Bernard and the crew at KQRS, a small brew haha has been brewing in the Twin Cities known as Wyatt Bayer Lock and Key.

You see without even stepping into the studios at the GOAL DEN Valley station, Chief Crazy Captain Christo is going to play hard ballast with the crew. Here goes the conversation between Chief Crazy Captain Christo and Tom Barnard. In this Thee A Trick Al piece, Tom's name has been changed to Saint Bernard but it will be shortened further to SABER. Chief Crazy Captain Christo, in a stunning move to keep his detractors off guard, will not be the O-Range Blob of Light. No, in this abbreviated version of the Great Pumpkin Letters, the Chief will go by the name of ESSAY.

SABER: “ Hey it's coming up on twenty five minutes to nine. We'll be back shortly after this message from SNUGGIES. “

At that very instant, the radio host was changed into a Saint Bernard, although the radio listeners had no clue. Enter ESSAY.

ESSAY-( O-Range Light brightly shining)-” Que Q?”

SABER-” Hey who is shining this bright light in my eyes. I am blind and cannot see.”

ESSAY-” It is I, Chief Crazy Captain Christo. Que Q?”

SABER- “ Who are you and what do you want? Can't you see we are on the air? And why do you only say KQ?”

ESSAY-” That is only what you hear. Pay attention Mr. SABER. You have a sharp wit like a SABER tooth Tiger and I turned you into a Saint Bernard!”

SABER- “ Well turn me back into the radio host that I am so I can finish the morning show”

ESSAY-” Que Q?”

SABER-” Yeah KQ! Bark Bark Bark”

ESSAY-” Do you feel that Keg of whiskey around your neck SABER. Do not open till December 21^st 2012. It is a special Keg that is not Whiskey but a special sauce that will not be ready till then. Now about my Que Q. Que is Spanish for What. Q is the name of some whack job calling himself the CASH GIFTING expert online. If you would be so kind to interview Q on your call in show that would be great. He doesn't like to show his face either but I think you two would have a great debate on the reason so many people fail in their attempt to create true and lasting wealth.”

SABER-” OK done deal now change me back. This pain around my neck is killing me and I can't breathe.”

ESSAY, loosening the Keg around SABER's neck, “ Here you go. I'll take that with me till December 21^st 2012. I will return it to you except this time it will be wrapped in Paradise Paper and Sealed with

something I'd rather not discuss. Now remember SABER, Que Q? Ask at least ten thought provoking questions of this personality who calls himself Q. For all I know he may be the real deal. I just thought you would be the perfect interviewer. Besides which, I love listening to your show. Keep up the great work Senior SABER. ( Old DAWG expression!).

SABER( laughing hysterically) “ OK Chief Crazy Captain Christo. But one question for you? Isn't Charles Schultz from Saint Paul and won't his people be pissed that your using his Great Pumpkin

Charlie Brown story into.....”

ESSAY-” What? ( ROB ZOMBIE's song in the background thumpin at ESSAY's House) No Saber I am not worried about that. You see, I have a long history of taking something that was originally great and with a few tricks and treats, turning it into a masterpiece beyond belief. You will see. What you didn't see coming here was that this piece's title is really SNOOPY Part Two of Seven. I just cleverly disguised it so as to throw the censors off track. It's called covering your tracks in the dark and snow.”

SABER- “ Is that Rob Zombie I hear playing in the background. I can't stand any of his moo...”

With that Being said, Tom Barnard was back on the air. Stay tuned for more excerpts from The Great Pumpkin Letters. KQRS ( Revelation Station!)

Ron “Pigpen” McKernan: Pigpen's Pig's Kins

March 21st 2010
Barbecue Season - Let's Get Smokey! On the Grill! Marks, sets Go(::)
Author Christo Strom

Dedicated to my bro David and his family!

Ron “Pigpen” McKernan: Pigpen's Pig's Kins: Excerpt from the Great Pumpkin Letters

This is an actual copy of a letter that was burned in a fire that was never started

It is from Chief Crazy Captain Christo to R.P.M ( to be read only at a night time barbecue).

For those of you who don't know ,without Pigpen , there would be no Grateful Dead.

Or it would have been a ship without a Captain.

When Chief Crazy Captain Christo meets back up with Pigpen

Hey R.P.M.,

I never got to tell you how much I loved your band.

Well, Pigpen I am writing this with tears in my eyes.

I might need Linus' blanket to cover my red eyes so you can't see.

Oh what the Hell, I don't care let the whole world know that

my Tears are for Pig's in a Blanket.

Tell Loose Lucy that Cosmic Charlie is heading for the endzone

and Schroeder is now delivering Milk for a living Yep Milky Way

as I like to tease him.

Seriously, Pig I have one request for the man upstairs cause I know

You must be there. Tell him I know I have made my mistakes,

and my final request of a prayer would be this:

The only way I am going anywhere is to get this party started.

Meet me down in Omaha, Nebraska sometime in the future. You

will recognize me by a strange and magnificent smoke. I will be

surrounded by Twelve Webbers, Eleven Chefs and I will be organizing

my own Band. You should be able to see my One Man band with me playing

a DIME(Electric Razorback Explosion) store guitar rockin on a Half Pipe

skateboard ramp jammin out songs from the past as well as new un-re-hear-sed

tunes that have yet to be named.

Hope you can tell that I'm getting amped for the show down in O,NE.

Respectfully in Truth,

Chief Crazy Captain Christo

P.S. When I do meet back up with you Pig, if you don't mind bringing three

shots and shot glasses with you we'll recite the 23^rd Psalm in the Valley of the

Shadows. Then and only then can I say “ Yup, Good Grief the Gangs All Here”

I don't know exactly when I will be there but tell ol FUMble Fingers that

I could use a little of da Vine intermission. Thanks a lot. Oh and One last thing

Pigpen before I go. What would you like for dessert? I'm working man on an

animal cracker whipped cream ala mode with the name Pig's Delight. What do

you think? Might as well cross that off my two DO lew list. Lightnin Smokestacks

gonna be my name....2019, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13,...

This has been another abbreviated installment from The Great Pumpkin Letters

;

Chef Gordon Ramsay: Pumpkin Nightmares!

May 13th 2010
Author Christo Strom

Before I begin with a reprint of an article I wrote on
SOOPER ARTICLES, I would like to dedicate this
blog post to my sister and her husband. Perhaps,
someday Gordon Ramsay and I will teach them
how to be awesome chefs. That is after I find
Penelope Cruz. Happy Birthday to my SISTER,
the Greatest Sister A brother or three could ever
have wished for! Please enjoy my favorite
Pumpkin Letter to date....

Chef Gordon Ramsay-PUMPKIN NIGHTMARES: Excerpts from The Great Pumpkin Letters,

Chief Crazy Captain Christo is a character in a screen play being written in Minnesota to be

orchestrated on a stage in ...... see if you can guess where. This is an actual conversation between

the main character Chief Crazy Captain Christo and the delightful wordsmith Chef Gordon Ramsay from Fox's hit TV show Hell's Kitchen. We join the conversation already in progress...

Over the loud speaker ( Gilbert Godfried ) was heard...

“ ...and the winner is by a lard margarine Chief Crazy Captain Christo. “

Thunderous applause and a few sprinkles of lightning were heard and seen throughout the

great plates.” Never before has Chef Gordon Ramsay ever been this mad. He was seen kicking

the trash cans and littering the audience with shouts of “DONKEY” which made the judges of the

contest ( Sharon Osbourne and Ozzy, Rob Zombie and Sheri, Zakk Wylde and Barbarranne, Gene Simmons and Tweeder, and of course War and Buffet (the Vampire Slayer), eye Chef Gordon

Ramsay in a new light.

“ this cant be possible...” Chef Ramsay shouted, “ All my dishes were fantastic yes, and brilliantly prepared. Every possible ingredient was used. They were arranged to be beautiful to the eyes as well as a smorgasboard of pallette to the taste buds. What possibly could you Donkeys have been thinking when you judged Chief Crazy Captain Christo's Sea Bass Filet Mignon and Oysters over Pumpkin Avocado Buffalo Burgers” Chef Ramsay stormed off the set of the now infamous “Pacific Omaha, Omaha Pacific” challenge or PO-OP challenge.

The judges were unanimous in their admiration for Chief Crazy Captain Christo's dish and were surprised to find out that his dish was really just made out of a carved pumpkin. In short, every last judge asked Chief Crazy Captain Christo how the Hell he pulled off the Greatest upset in the land of Milk and Honey using only a Pumpkin. Here is C.C.C.Christo's response:

....” to all the Good Judges who make it a point to sell their brand of entertainment to the world. My secret ingredient was ......”

All the judges, including Rob Zombie, leaned forward to hear the secret to C.C.C.Christo's successful win over Chef Gordon Ramsay,

“ My secret ingredient is and always has been you Jack Asses,

Art O' Fisher Fillet Vo-Rings.”

It took a while for the hoots and the hoot owls to simmer down but when they finally did and they always do, Chief Crazy Captain Christo walked off the stage and gave each of the judges a freshly cut pumpkin rind in the shape of a G.

So as the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo skateboarded back to his trailer in the park, he stopped to admire the sunsetting as plain as day and exhaled, “ Maybe next time I'll answer the judges the proper way and say something like,

My secret ingredient has been to imitate Ol Chef GORDO, beat him to the punch line,

and exclaim My secret ingredient is and has always been the Jackal Lantern, the Jack O' Lantern

and forevermore the Donkey ho-tay.

Stay tuned when Chief Crazy Captain Christo invites Chef Gordon Ramsay and family to a council meeting to take place sometime in the year 2010 to discuss plans to build Twelve new restaurants around a rock and roll , sports, medicine, movie and of course the Great Pumpkin Letters menu will be delivered to Chef Ramsay if he shows up. Actually, if Chef Ramsay shows up the menu is blank so if he wants to keep the blankety blankety blank out of his dialogue for one hour, we can proceed to design the first seven star restaurant in the history of the Milky Way.

United States Congress 2010: An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

March 11th 2010
Author Christo Strom

This next blog post is a re-issue from 2009. Used with full permission
and full on the meaning will be clear. The other site that this was posted
on was over at a great Article Marketing site called
SOOPER ARTICLES. You can find it by clicking and searching for
Author Christo Strom. At the end of today's post please be sure
to read the P.S. S. ( Pumpkin Script Salutation!)

U.S. CONGRESS: FORT YOU AND YOUR A.I.G: An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

Chief Crazy Captain Christo woke up on Halloween 2009 in Minnesota and declared that the United States Congress needs a good ass whoopin. So without sparing the rod, here comes their A.I.G on a silver platter. America, get ready for THE TRUTH TO BE TOLD. Without further ado I give you the letter to wake up a snoring elected mass of idiots. You've all been asleep and you would not believe me.

Dear John F. of Patmos,

Randy Moss is playing well for your beloved Patriots. Meanwhile back at the ranch, your brethren in Congress are busy flopping like crappie on the deck of a ship. Oh well, this CAPTAIN will sweep them overboard and they will find out that Noah's Rage still lives. They have a health plan that is like 4 trillion words long and would take a super computer about one light year to read so I have pretty much written them off as hmm how to put this mildly; a scattered bunch of overpaid windbags that couldn't save a sinking ship if their life depended on it. If I could get real for a minute with you John, my faithful servant, I just would like to tell you how much I still appreciate the work you did. Yeah, besides the Moonshine days, I still love ya. I do have a favor to ask of you though John, so please listen closely. Your brother Ted recently passed as well as Patrick, Michael and Farrah. Welcome your brothers and sisters home. Tell Big J that Chief Crazy Captain Christo has been receiving the message of Faith Hope and Love earnestly and has declared that Omaha Nebraska would be a great place to start building something of TRUE VALUE. I will need some help with the final design and implementation of this building project. Tell Big J that the little girl will get her THEA-TREE HOUSE and I will not waver or faulter on my mission. Please clear a path for me and keep me safe ok? Hope this letter finds you in GOOD HEALTH.

Now John, please tell Big J that I will handle Congress with my own A.I.G. Plan. Let me try it out on you first and you can let me know what you think alrighty then, here goes nothing:

ATTENTION: UNITED STATES CONGRESS 2009

SEEK SHELTER

SEEK SHELTER FROM ( and now this is---)

KEY

Chief Crazy Captain Christo

That is all I have written so far John what do you think? Do you think the overpaid windbags on Capitol Hill can read a simple yet straightforward message. Yeah I didn't think so either. They would probably debate for three years on what I was trying to say. Oh well, I think I'll go now. I hear the doorbell and the trick or treaters are here. Hey do you guys celebrate Halloween up there John. It is probably my favorite holiday besides let's see Thansksgiving, Independence Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day, Presidents Day, Canada Boxing Day, Valentines Day, Boss Day, Secretary's Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, National Crazy Horse Day, Easter, Super Bowl 44 2010, let's see did I leave any holiday out? Whoap gotta go, the trick or treaters are here. Oh wow there's an Obama Thriller costume, a Scary Spice girl and hey it looks like a ghost with twelve holes cut in the costume. Hey it's the REAL Charlie Brown, way to go Brownie here have a rock. Thanks for staying in tune with me John. Now if you wouldn't mind telling Pigpen and Jim Morrision that yes I haven't forgot ten their tunes either. I got big plans for the future if I can just get past 2012. Say a prayer John!

Later Prez, and as always Respectfully in Truth,

The O-Range Blob of Light(ning),

Chief Crazy Captain Christo

P.S. ( Pumpkin Script) Give Thanks and Praise America the Beautiful!!!!!!!

P.S.S. ( Pumpkin Script Salutation) Since it is now 2010, I thought I would

add a GET READY for Americans to witness the sheer power of

what CHIEF CRAZY CAPTAIN CHRISTO has in store.

Can you say " JAW DROPPING AWESOMENESS"

Stay tuned and Congress 2010 - Omaha Nebraska Click Here

Sarah Palin: Sarah's Palindrome-An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

March Ninth 2010
Author Christo Strom

This is a reprint from an article I had published at
SOOPER ARTICLES. It will be part of the Foreword
of a series of letters that are now being called
THE GREAT PUMPKIN LETTERS.
Since I wrote this last year, Sarah Palin has written
a book, resigned as Governor of Alaska and is busy
making speeches like at The Tea Party convention
in Tennessee. I still think she should introduce me
someday and perhaps go one on one with me
Chief Crazy Captain Christo, in a bball game.
What say you Mrs. Palin. Are you up for a game?

Here is the Pumpkin Letter Enjoy!

Sarah Palin: Sarah's Palindrome- An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

Chief Crazy Captain Christo became intrigued with Sarah Palin long before she lost her last name of Heath. You could say their paths have been intertwined as far back as 1982 and yet they have never met. Until the year 2010 came along. Let's just unwind the clock back to 2008 and the meteoric rise that is known as “ Sarah's Smile”( Author's note: Smile is to be construed as : St. Paul's meteorepublican in Limelight xcel energy) .

It was 2008 and the media attention on both the Democratic and Republican National Conventions was business as usual. It seems Denver had a relativley mild convention compared to the Ruckus known as the RNC in St. Paul. With protesters and mudslingers hiding in the open streets of St. Paul, Chief Crazy Captain Christo thought it more appropriate to learn some tunes on the guitar. After playing the old beast till his fingers bled, the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo heard the thunderous roar of a crowd cheering for someone he had never heard of before. Who is Sarah Palin and wow! Instant hook line and sinker! The wheels of his mind went into turbo charge mode and he said,” She's going to introduce ME someday.”

Chief Crazy Captain Christo darted off to his secluded hide a way and within minutes he drew up a map and then drew up the plans for the speech that Mrs. Palindrome would deliver in O-O-O-MAHA.

You see Sarah Palin deserves better treatment and C.C.C.Christo knows how to deliver. Fast forward to the year 2009 and pay close attention. In just two hours after her meeting with Paul Teutul,Sr. from

Orange County Choppers, Sarah Palin was visited by Chief Crazy Captain Christo. Bathed in an Orange Blob of Light, Sarah was FRIGHTENED. The Light spoke to Sarah like this: ( Author's note: for this conversation Sarah Palin is shown as SAPA, ryhmes with ZAPPA.

O-Range Blob of Light- “ I have seen your work and it is GOOD! Meet me in Omaha on July 9^th 2010 and we shall discuss plans for building a BRIDGE-O.”

SAPA:” HO NO! Not me buddy! I'm done with the Bridge to Nowhere jokes and such. I've got other plans with my life. Count me out! Hey who are you and how did you get past Todd?

O-Range Blob of Light- “ I souped up his Arctic Cat and he's off racing around Alaska! “

SAPA- “ Great! Well you know what they say when the Cat's a way. What can I do you for? What's your name and what's with the Orange glowing light you are shining?

O-Range Blob of Light-” My name is Chief Crazy Captain Christo and the Orange light you are seeing is just Moons over Miami. I shine this light when I feel a big win coming at the Super Bowl.”

SAPA-” Oh yeah well I would have thought it was for a basketball game. Did you know I used to play ball up here in Alaska? State champs in 82 Baby!~”

O-Range Blob of Light-” ...errr uhhh yeahhh! That is kind of why I am up here. You see, there is a little girl who will never have the opportunity you did Sarah. If I could have your support in this important matter, you could be the Hero once again. I need your influence and charisma to channel the right people to get involved. I have designed a 7.200 seat, handicapped accessible arena. I call it a “ Thea-Tree House” but it is way more than that. I am going to unveil the plans in 2010 and would really appreciate it if you could lend your support. It is kind of elaborate and will cost a pretty penny. I am kind of short on time to explain it but do you understand where I am coming from?”

SAPA-” Let me get this straight. You want me to bring the big money supporters together for a Thea Tree House” For a little girl? 7,200 seat ...... Count me in! Hey Chief Crazy Captain Christo, what about the title of this letter. Where's the Palindrome?”

O-Range Blob of Light-” Even though that would be an excellent name for the Thea Tree House, your Palindrome Sarah is “ ReppeR” It is pronounced with rolling your tongue at the first and last R's. Whoa look at the time. I gotta go vroom now so . Sorry to RUSH IN on ya but time is a valuable commodity.”

And out the door he went. Leaving only a hint of what is to come, Chief Crazy Captain Christo smiled and said,

“ I wonder if Sharon Osbourne would help as well!”

Stay tuned for more releases of The Great Pumpkin Letters!

Senator Al Franken: An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

March Eighth 2010
Author Christo Strom

This next blog post was reprinted with permission from The Author
( Hey That's me!!) It was originally posted on an article marketing site
SOOPER ARTICLES

Before I begin, I would just like to say to all in Public Office, you are
under oath and if I catch you in a lie, it would be best to resign because
I am Chief Crazy Captain Christo and I am THE TRUTH.

One last thing, there is an ELEPHANT in America and it aint Republican.
There is an ASS in America and it aint Democratic Donkey.
Pay attention to THE TRUTH and you will never go wrong again!

Ok with that being said on with the reprint of Senator AL Franken
D.-MN

This a copy of an actual letter from The Great Pumpkin Letters. The author states that he wishes it to become reality by Christmas 2009, with the actual game to be played in October 2010. Please read this with a sense of urgency and a sense of humor. The actual game will be organized around Jan 1 2010 to July 9^th 2010.

SENATOR AL FRANKEN D.MN: Read this to your Senator Friends and Read it backwards to Bob Weir:) Dear ALL, ( sorry the L on my keyboard got stuck)

My name is The Great Pumpkin and I am on a mission. Chief Crazy Captain Christo is a character in a screen play based on the greatest character ever created by one of St. Paul's finest, Charles Schultz.

“ When the Chief gets Crazy” is Chief Crazy Captain Christo's calling card or in layman's term his call to action.

The reason I am writing to you Mister Senator Al Franken is this: Hey I know you are going to be in Minnesota on October 3^rd and I may even show up to show my support for Rebecca Otto , State Auditor or in my case as a line from Ramble on Rose:

“ Just like Crazy Otto...” ,

But Al pay attention here. I am going to make you and Rebecca Otto earn my support. Quite Frankly, I am tired of seeing or hearing about Billions of dollars going to Insurance Companies. “When the Chief Gets Crazy”! Now I was going to give around one hundred dollars to the cause you are attending but whatever, right Al? I'll up the ante to a whopping three hundred dollars if you will answer three questions for me. ( Authors note: Here is where you have to use your imagination and imagine Chief Crazy Captain Christo interviewing Senator Al Franken in person)

C.C.C.Christo- Ok Al , I'll set the ground rules: Every question I ask you must answer back

using the words “ That would be....” For example, if I asked you the question what song did the Grateful Dead play on Saturday Night Live where Bob Weir was wearing Rabbit Ears, you answer me with the words ,” That would be... Casey Jones” Got it Al?

Sen. Franken nods his head and grins and grimaces at the same time. That is hard to do!

C.C.C.Christo- Ok Al ,and lastly, each answer after you state “That would be” is a one word answer. So each word is worth one hundred dollars. Casey Jones was just to throw you off track! Ok, here we go. First question: What character did John Belushi hate to play on Saturday Night Live. Remember Al to only use one word and the word has to be singular.

Sen Franken-” That would be Bee”

C.C.C.Christo- “Excellent Al. One hundred dollars to the Good Senator from Minnesota. Ok , next question: What answer did Jerry Garcia give to a punch line to one of his jokes on youtube? This is a little tougher than the last one and remember Al it has to be singular.

Sen Franken- “That would be Bee.”

C.C.C.Christo-”Wow! Two hundred dollars so far Al. Ok, last question: This is for all the marbles so I won't keep you In the Dark any longer. Here is The three hundred dollar question- “ If Americans had their choice, which choice would they eliminate between these two sayings :

I want to own the American Dream

I want to rent the American Dream

Remember Al, it has to be a one word answer,

Sen. Franken, laughing hysterically because he knows the answer replies,

“ That would be RENT”

So in conclusion Chief Crazy Captain Christo and Senator Al Franken shared a good laugh, listened to WE CAN RUN by BEE BEE RENT and Senator Al Franken agreed to use the three hundred dollars to buy one top of the line leather basketball to give to the Obama children at Christmas time. Next up in Chief Crazy Captain Christo's sight is Governor Tim Pawlenty R.MN. Stay tuned

RESPECTFULLY IN TRUTH

CHIEF CRAZY CAPTAIN CHRISTO

P.S. ( that's Pumpkin Script) Since Al Franken was helping the Sandbaggers up north, March 7th 2010
I will be doing something special for Senator Al Franken. Only because it would be the
right thing to do. Thank you Al Franken.