Author Christo Strom
This next blog post is a re-issue from 2009. Used with full permission
and full on the meaning will be clear. The other site that this was posted
on was over at a great Article Marketing site called
SOOPER ARTICLES. You can find it by clicking and searching for
Author Christo Strom. At the end of today's post please be sure
to read the P.S. S. ( Pumpkin Script Salutation!)
U.S. CONGRESS: FORT YOU AND YOUR A.I.G: An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters
Chief Crazy Captain Christo woke up on Halloween 2009 in Minnesota and declared that the United States Congress needs a good ass whoopin. So without sparing the rod, here comes their A.I.G on a silver platter. America, get ready for THE TRUTH TO BE TOLD. Without further ado I give you the letter to wake up a snoring elected mass of idiots. You've all been asleep and you would not believe me.
Dear John F. of Patmos,
Randy Moss is playing well for your beloved Patriots. Meanwhile back at the ranch, your brethren in Congress are busy flopping like crappie on the deck of a ship. Oh well, this CAPTAIN will sweep them overboard and they will find out that Noah's Rage still lives. They have a health plan that is like 4 trillion words long and would take a super computer about one light year to read so I have pretty much written them off as hmm how to put this mildly; a scattered bunch of overpaid windbags that couldn't save a sinking ship if their life depended on it. If I could get real for a minute with you John, my faithful servant, I just would like to tell you how much I still appreciate the work you did. Yeah, besides the Moonshine days, I still love ya. I do have a favor to ask of you though John, so please listen closely. Your brother Ted recently passed as well as Patrick, Michael and Farrah. Welcome your brothers and sisters home. Tell Big J that Chief Crazy Captain Christo has been receiving the message of Faith Hope and Love earnestly and has declared that Omaha Nebraska would be a great place to start building something of TRUE VALUE. I will need some help with the final design and implementation of this building project. Tell Big J that the little girl will get her THEA-TREE HOUSE and I will not waver or faulter on my mission. Please clear a path for me and keep me safe ok? Hope this letter finds you in GOOD HEALTH.
Now John, please tell Big J that I will handle Congress with my own A.I.G. Plan. Let me try it out on you first and you can let me know what you think alrighty then, here goes nothing:
ATTENTION: UNITED STATES CONGRESS 2009
SEEK SHELTER
SEEK SHELTER FROM ( and now this is---)
KEY
Chief Crazy Captain Christo
That is all I have written so far John what do you think? Do you think the overpaid windbags on Capitol Hill can read a simple yet straightforward message. Yeah I didn't think so either. They would probably debate for three years on what I was trying to say. Oh well, I think I'll go now. I hear the doorbell and the trick or treaters are here. Hey do you guys celebrate Halloween up there John. It is probably my favorite holiday besides let's see Thansksgiving, Independence Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day, Presidents Day, Canada Boxing Day, Valentines Day, Boss Day, Secretary's Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, National Crazy Horse Day, Easter, Super Bowl 44 2010, let's see did I leave any holiday out? Whoap gotta go, the trick or treaters are here. Oh wow there's an Obama Thriller costume, a Scary Spice girl and hey it looks like a ghost with twelve holes cut in the costume. Hey it's the REAL Charlie Brown, way to go Brownie here have a rock. Thanks for staying in tune with me John. Now if you wouldn't mind telling Pigpen and Jim Morrision that yes I haven't forgot ten their tunes either. I got big plans for the future if I can just get past 2012. Say a prayer John!
Later Prez, and as always Respectfully in Truth,
The O-Range Blob of Light(ning),
Chief Crazy Captain Christo
P.S. ( Pumpkin Script) Give Thanks and Praise America the Beautiful!!!!!!!
P.S.S. ( Pumpkin Script Salutation) Since it is now 2010, I thought I would
add a GET READY for Americans to witness the sheer power of
what CHIEF CRAZY CAPTAIN CHRISTO has in store.
Can you say " JAW DROPPING AWESOMENESS"
Stay tuned and Congress 2010 - Omaha Nebraska Click Here
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