Author Christo Strom
SHERI MOON ZOMBIE- S.O.S. for $630 Million
Author's Note: ( The S.O.S. in the title is kind of like a
double edged sword with four different meanings. But
the author will give you the real meaning first and the
last three you'll have to make them up for your self!)
S.O.S. ( an obvious cry for help from a "Crazy" )
S.O.S.- in this post means " Strom's Onto Something!"
Now I have submitted this post before on Sooper Articles
and it is one of 44 Great Pumpkin Excerpts but before I
add this post, I would like to pre-face the post with a bit
of insane money fundraising for one ROB ZOMBIE.
Since he is more than likely too busy on his current touring
schedule to react to my posts, I thought I would try something
a little different. I'll go straight to his boss, Sheri Moon Zombie!
So Sheri, here's the deal! I am going to start in Minnesota
to erase the National Debt which is at $12 Trillion Dollars.
I think that raising $ 630 Million Dollars for your husband
Rob to make Seven Films should be a drop in the bucket.
It's going to take a massive exchange of ideas on my part
to get this thing rolling but I am prepared to do the work.
I just thought you would want to know I am on your guy's
side and I will help you all out any way that I can. If
that's ok with you and Rob Sheri! After all , you and Rob
are my favorite Zombie's!!!
Take Care Mrs. Zombie! Here's the reprint of your
Great Pumpkin Letter
Sheri Moon Zombie: Mayhem and The Great One- An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters
Chief Crazy Captain Christo was going out of his mind one particular day in January 2010. You see, the Good Chief had just found out that the Mayhem tour was going to be starting in California on July 10th. And his mind was reeling really fast. All the thoughts of pulling off the GREATEST SPEECH ever spoken were quickly being dashed against the ROCKS of TIME! To bring you up to speed, the Mayhem tour is a big ol Metal fest starring Rob Zombie, Korn, Lamb of God, Five Finger Death Punch, In This Moment and a slew of other hard rockin, fist pumpin, take no prisoners types that create for better or worse, MAYHEM. Anyway, since their wheels are in gear for their shows, no need to bother them for assistance. They have their own gigs going and that is fine. Except for one thing. Rob Zombie, can you send your wife? On July 9th, 2010, the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo, come hell or high water, is going down to Omaha Nebraska and set up for an impressive speech. So for this particular abbreviated Great Pumpkin Letter, the Good Chief is transforming himself to L.A. To meet with none other than Rob Zombie's wife, Sheri Moon Zombie.
For this conversation, Sheri Moon Zombie is filming Rob in an upcoming video. She is taking a short break when Chief Crazy Captain Christo, in a stunning move of unabashed bravado, scoops her up and is talking to her on the fly. He is disguised as the O-Range Blob of Lightning with a dash of Guacamole Sauce. Sheri is going by the name of SHERI-ZO. Chief Crazy Captain Christo is going by the name of ORBLA-GUACAM. Since Chief Crazy Captain Christo is in charge here, the conversation takes place up in the air. Enjoy!!!
SHERI-ZO-” Hey you! Put me down this instant or I will have Rob take care of you in one of his upcoming videos. You will be Zombie stomped into oblivion.”
ORBLA-GUACAM-” Hey relax Sheri, it is I, Chief Crazy Captain Christo. I just wanted to introduce myself to you in a well I'm not exactly sure what I am doing here but oh yeah. I wanted to help your husband Rob with a little fund raising for a SEVEN MOVIE DEAL. It would have been real easy to do on July 9th 2010 until I learned that your husband had inked a deal to do the Mayhem tour. That is ok since I believe that has got to be a great way to make a living.”
SHERI-ZO:” How can you carry me and fly at the same time? And why should we trust you?”
ORBLA-GUACAM-” Fair enough questions. I'll answer the second one first. The reason you should TRUST me is this. I have learned a great deal by writing down some observations. My first observation is this. America needs to turn the ship around because it is sinking! By writing about what is wrong, without preaching doom and gloom, I believe a few positive words to the right influential people, can be a great place to start. I am trying to get a Theatrical Tree house built for a little American girl. Since Rob is probably in tune to a theatrical kind of show, I thought that once this tree house gets built, the SEVEN MOVIE DEALwould be a piece of cake to set up.
SHERI-ZO: “ Again Chief Crazy Captain Christo! Why should we TRUST you?!!”
ORBLA-GUACAM:” OK Sheri here it is! Ready or not. I have thought up this stadium design that is based on super cooperation between musicians, professional athletes, doctors, internet marketers, restaurant owners and dancers. The design will be unveiled sometime soon when all the pieces fall into place. I could use some of Rob's unique insights to go along with the planning stages. Of course, it will be based on a Halloween stage theme and a Happy Go Lucky harvest agenda. No sad sacks allowed if you know what I mean. It is all about overcoming adversity and shining in a most outrageous display of FUN! No one stage will be present for longer than thirteen weeks so it will always be changing to suit the needs of the performers. Comprende?”
SHERI-ZO:” Ok Chief Crazy Captain Christo I can relate to that. Now answer the first question. How can you carry me and fly at the same time?”
ORBLA-GUACAM:” Great Pumpkin rule #Seven- Listen to RUSH's Fly By Night before attempting any type of Zombie pick up line!”
SHERI-ZO: “ Oh Rob will love that one! Thanks Chief Crazy Captain Christo. I'll try to persuade Rob for you.”
ORBLA-GUACAM:” Thanks Sheri. And tell Rob that Chief Crazy Captain Christo would be forever grateful to plan the Tree House with some of Rob's ideas. Let's get this done!”
SHERI-ZO:” Wow! That was a cool flight! Hey there's Rob now...”
And with that Chief Crazy Captain Christo flew back to resume his sail around the world. Penelope Cruz where are you? This has been another edition of The Great Pumpkin Letters. Stay tuned for more to come in 2010 and beyond!
in 2011. I will be mainly in MN but like I said in the Great Pumpkin Letters,
I hang out in Minnesota, Nebraska and Colorado. You see you gotta believe
in foolish miracles ( I got that one from a regular " John" !)
Respectfully in TRUTH
Chief Crazy Captain Christo
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