Snoopy Part 7 of 7: Joe " Cool " Mauer

April 19th 2010
Author Christo Strom
Special Post Alert Special Post Alert Special Post Alert

" Have I died and gone to heaven?
Today Joe "Cool" turns Twenty Seven
So on this day I thought I'd try
A little trick with Pumpkin Pie

So here we go for " Smokeless Joe"
A Twin Cities Favorite Hometown, yeah know
I now give you the Ultimate Pumpkin Letter
Great doesn't even describe this one
Because he keeps getting better and better

Snoopy Part 7 of 7 : Joe "Cool" Mauer
Enter Chief Crazy Captain Christo to start off
The Festivities>

For this , the longest version of the Great Pumpkin Letters,
Chief Crazy Captain Christo is going to throw in a curveball.
He will be shown here as Spike In Nine ( kind of like Frankenstein
but more of a Dogtown feel if you know what I mean!) Spike in
Nine will be shortened down to S.I.N.

Joe " Cool " Mauer, in a spectacular and thrilling change of pace,
will not be shown as Baby Jesus. But will be shown as J.C.

So without further ado or delays of game, I give you the Ultimate
version of The Great Pumpkin Letters in its entirety.
Author's note( this version might take all season long or perhaps
as long as Joe Mauer stays in the Game. Author has no control
over Joe's Career but wishes to offer this advice. STAY HEALTHY!)

S.I.N. " Happy Birthday Joe " Cool " Mauer. You know in dog years
you'd be like buried under the pitchers mound. Your twenty seven years
times seven you'd be like one hundred and eighty nine years"

J.C. -" Gee thanks a lot Chief Crazy Captain Christo. You sure know how
to make a guy feel old. How old are you in dog years, like a thousand?"

S.I.N. " More like two thousand Joe. You see I have been around the
block quite a few times. You could say I'm a Block Head."

J.C.-" So I'm just curious. Why are you writing The Great Pumpkin Letters
and what is with the J.C. and the S.I.N. in this Great Pumpkin Letter. It's
my birthday for heaven's sake"

S.I.N. - " Exactly Joe and I will wish you a happy birthday at the end. Now to
explain a little bit of why you are Snoopy Part 7 of 7. Well there are Seven versions
of who Snoopy is in The Great Pumpkin Letters. You see Joe, I chose you because
you represent the ultimate Snoopy. Number seven obviously that is your number.
You guard Home plate from trespassers ( the visiting team) Home plate reminds me
of Snoopy's doghouse and now that you and the Minnesota Twins are playing outdoors,
it is just a perfect fit. Plus you are a hometown hero. Also the bat you swing is made of
wood and I mean if the woods could talk there'd be the little birdy woodstock. You know
Joe " Cool " Mauer I think .....

J.C. " Sorry for interrupting Chief Crazy Captain Christo, but my family is arriving for the
big celebration. It was nice talking to you. Say how come you didn't say anything about my new salary?

S.I.N. - " Let's just say I have the utmost respect for what you do and who you are. Besides which I just started a new company called Orange Race Card Angels. My only job left on Earth is to see that I gather the right people together to eliminate the National Debt once and for all. Happy Birthday Joe " Cool " Mauer. With all my heart, I wish you many more!

Respectfully in Truth

Chief Crazy Captain Christo

P.S. Every two months I will come back and edit this piece below the P.S ( that's Pumpkin Script) Now who wants Pumpkin Pie for dessert. I do I do! With lots of whipped cream and
a side of Circle Me Sure Bet!!!!