Ron " Pigpen " McKernan: A Barbecue Jam for Pigpen

Ron “Pigpen” McKernan: A Barbecue Jam for Pigpen

This is an actual copy of a letter that was burned in a fire that was never started

It is from Chief Crazy Captain Christo to R.P.M ( to be read only at a night time barbecue).

For those of you who don't know ,without Pigpen , there would be no Grateful Dead.

Or it would have been a ship without a Captain.

When Chief Crazy Captain Christo meets back up with Pigpen

Hey R.P.M.,

I never got to tell you how much I loved your band.

Well, Pigpen I am writing this with tears in my eyes.

I might need Linus' blanket to cover my red eyes so you can't see.

Oh what the Hell, I don't care let the whole world know that my Tears are for Pig's in a Blanket.

Tell Loose Lucy that Cosmic Charlie is heading for the end zone and Schroeder is now delivering Milk for a living.  Yep Milky Way as I like to tease him.

Seriously, Pig I have one request for the man upstairs cause I know You must be there. Tell him I know I have made my mistakes,

and my final request of a prayer would be this:

The only way I am going anywhere is to get this party started.

Meet me down in Omaha, Nebraska sometime in the future. You will recognize me by a strange and magnificent smoke. I will be surrounded by Twelve Webers, Eleven Chefs (Steven Raichlen, Gordon Ramsay etc… are you listening?)  and I will be organizing my own Band. You should be able to see my One Man band with me playing a DIME(Electric Razorback Explosion) store guitar rockin on a Half Pipe skateboard ramp jammin out songs from the past as well as new unrehearsed  tunes that have yet to be named.

Hope you can tell that I'm getting amped for the show down in O,NE. Respectfully in Truth, Chief Crazy Captain Christo P.S. When I do meet back up with you Pig, if you don't mind bringing three shots and shot glasses with you we'll recite the 23rd Psalm in the Valley of the Shadows. Then and only then can I say " Yup, Good Grief the Gangs All Here"

I don't know exactly when I will be there but tell ol FUMble Fingers that I could use a little of da Vine intermission. Thanks a lot. Oh and One last thing Pigpen before I go. What would you like for dessert? I'm working man on an animal cracker whipped cream ala mode with the name Pig's Delight. What do you think? Might as well cross that off my two DO lew list. Lightnin Smokestacks gonna be my name....2019, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13,...

This will be part of national debt training for 360,000 Women who pay $10,000.00 each.  Do you

think I am just doing this for myself and Pig?  Get a grip people +(~~+~~)+National Debt Training 2012 The Orange Race from Green Bay Wisconsin to Colorado Springs Colorado,

perhaps ending at the Broadmoor for some final barbecue tasting Hint Hint Steven Raichlen!

Respectfully in TRUTH,

Chief Crazy Captain Christo

AKA

Author Christo Strom

Sole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels

Head of Angel Promotions

Chef Gordon Ramsay: Pumpkin Nightmares!

May 13th 2010
Author Christo Strom

Before I begin with a reprint of an article I wrote on
SOOPER ARTICLES, I would like to dedicate this
blog post to my sister and her husband. Perhaps,
someday Gordon Ramsay and I will teach them
how to be awesome chefs. That is after I find
Penelope Cruz. Happy Birthday to my SISTER,
the Greatest Sister A brother or three could ever
have wished for! Please enjoy my favorite
Pumpkin Letter to date....

Chef Gordon Ramsay-PUMPKIN NIGHTMARES: Excerpts from The Great Pumpkin Letters,

Chief Crazy Captain Christo is a character in a screen play being written in Minnesota to be

orchestrated on a stage in ...... see if you can guess where. This is an actual conversation between

the main character Chief Crazy Captain Christo and the delightful wordsmith Chef Gordon Ramsay from Fox's hit TV show Hell's Kitchen. We join the conversation already in progress...

Over the loud speaker ( Gilbert Godfried ) was heard...

“ ...and the winner is by a lard margarine Chief Crazy Captain Christo. “

Thunderous applause and a few sprinkles of lightning were heard and seen throughout the

great plates.” Never before has Chef Gordon Ramsay ever been this mad. He was seen kicking

the trash cans and littering the audience with shouts of “DONKEY” which made the judges of the

contest ( Sharon Osbourne and Ozzy, Rob Zombie and Sheri, Zakk Wylde and Barbarranne, Gene Simmons and Tweeder, and of course War and Buffet (the Vampire Slayer), eye Chef Gordon

Ramsay in a new light.

“ this cant be possible...” Chef Ramsay shouted, “ All my dishes were fantastic yes, and brilliantly prepared. Every possible ingredient was used. They were arranged to be beautiful to the eyes as well as a smorgasboard of pallette to the taste buds. What possibly could you Donkeys have been thinking when you judged Chief Crazy Captain Christo's Sea Bass Filet Mignon and Oysters over Pumpkin Avocado Buffalo Burgers” Chef Ramsay stormed off the set of the now infamous “Pacific Omaha, Omaha Pacific” challenge or PO-OP challenge.

The judges were unanimous in their admiration for Chief Crazy Captain Christo's dish and were surprised to find out that his dish was really just made out of a carved pumpkin. In short, every last judge asked Chief Crazy Captain Christo how the Hell he pulled off the Greatest upset in the land of Milk and Honey using only a Pumpkin. Here is C.C.C.Christo's response:

....” to all the Good Judges who make it a point to sell their brand of entertainment to the world. My secret ingredient was ......”

All the judges, including Rob Zombie, leaned forward to hear the secret to C.C.C.Christo's successful win over Chef Gordon Ramsay,

“ My secret ingredient is and always has been you Jack Asses,

Art O' Fisher Fillet Vo-Rings.”

It took a while for the hoots and the hoot owls to simmer down but when they finally did and they always do, Chief Crazy Captain Christo walked off the stage and gave each of the judges a freshly cut pumpkin rind in the shape of a G.

So as the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo skateboarded back to his trailer in the park, he stopped to admire the sunsetting as plain as day and exhaled, “ Maybe next time I'll answer the judges the proper way and say something like,

My secret ingredient has been to imitate Ol Chef GORDO, beat him to the punch line,

and exclaim My secret ingredient is and has always been the Jackal Lantern, the Jack O' Lantern

and forevermore the Donkey ho-tay.

Stay tuned when Chief Crazy Captain Christo invites Chef Gordon Ramsay and family to a council meeting to take place sometime in the year 2010 to discuss plans to build Twelve new restaurants around a rock and roll , sports, medicine, movie and of course the Great Pumpkin Letters menu will be delivered to Chef Ramsay if he shows up. Actually, if Chef Ramsay shows up the menu is blank so if he wants to keep the blankety blankety blank out of his dialogue for one hour, we can proceed to design the first seven star restaurant in the history of the Milky Way.