Author Christo Strom
We interrupt the Alice Cooper Great Pumpkin Letter series until at least August 1st 2010
on the account that Chief Crazy Captain Christo is going into turbo mode. That literally
means that he is turbo charging his online presence to include videos and an offline business.
The offline business which is run in Minnesota has a grand opening of January 4th 2011
The name of it is ORANGE RACE CARD ANGELS and it will be one of four hugely successful
startups that will be the envy of the world. What? ( Rob Zombie's song thumpin in the background
at Chief Crazy Captain Christo's many hideaways!) Don't believe me yet. Too Bad cause what other business do you know that is going to successfully eliminate the National Debt? Yeah that's right,
there isn't any.
So here it is the FRANK KERN DEATH TAXES GREAT PUMPKIN LETTER
Death Taxes and Frank Kern: Witch do you Prefer
Chief Crazy Captain Christo tackles the problem of Internet Marketers lack of
RESPECT. It came across the Mid-West area called the Midwest one particular sunny summer
day. Little did Frank Kern know but Chief Crazy Captain Christo does not take rejection very well. In fact, rejection is not in his vocabulary unless of course he is playing a GAME of basketball against Michael Jordan. You be the judge who would be rejected!
Back to the story, here goes the commentary floating on the Internet's Super slow mo- dial up.
It came back rejected. Try Again. Connect with SOL ( Slick Orange Lines) known to musicians as Slinky Online Licks or Guitar Strings for the functionally illiterate. Any who, Chief Crazy Captain Christo got a rejection letter from none other than Frank Kern's secretary. Wow! What a tremendous feeling! Like a barbed wire whipping post at Golgotha if you know what I mean. After meticulously trying to set Frank up and over deliver, the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo thought to himself,
“ You know, maybe Frank didn't quite get the gist of it. He probably thought I was trying to bring Mass Control to it's knees but quite the opposite really!”
Oh well! Not a problem, unlike Al Gore and Tony Robbins, I actually like Frank so here goes the message on MASS “I HAVE” CONTROL (author's note: to be read massive control!) . We interrupt the alleged conversation as it actually will take place in the year 2010 plus two.
C.C.C.Christo-” Hey Frank whazzzz up? Glad to see you escaped from Al Gore and Tony Robbins. What a couple of hack and wheezer geezers ey?”
F. RAKER ( Frank Kern's nickname for Raking in the Bucks) -” Yeah man, thanks for the heads up. I didn't realize how much Tony's clients were swearing till it all came to a head one day.”
C.C.C.Christo-” By the way Frank, I really appreciate the fact that you took the time out to mail me the rejection postcard. It showed you cared enough to acknowledge a pre-customer. As you know, I don't take rejection lightly. I learned that from Gwen Stefani from No Doubt. I got her to start her own film company called PenGwen Island. We deal only with air brush artists and models who aren't afraid to push the envelope if you know what I mean. Great musician that Gwen!
F.RAKER- “ How the hell did you get Gwen to do it?”
C.C.C.Christo-” Are you kidding me? I told her about it and she instantly was gyrating dollar signs. Her husband actually thanked me and said , “What would you like on your Tombstone?” I told him, Keep it simply stupid, mayaz!” Have you ever seen a rock star spray milk out of his nose?”
F.RAKER-” Wow I gotta right that one down! That's flippin awesome. Hey I gotta go Chief, you know an Internet Marketer gets no respect”
C.C.C.Christo- “ Hey Frank , I'd like to tell you a story about jumping ahead and avoiding the agony of defeat. I'm going to use some Native American imagery so bear with me hear. I'll type slowly because some of your readers may be a little slow to catch on. Ready Frank, this one story is about Bean's Jump. Long time ago when engineers were men and did not stare at goats, a young man decided to be the leader of men who were building a ski jump. The ski jump was a mighty ski jump. One that you had to take an elevator to the top. When you got off the elevator you had to climb some stairs to reach the tip top. When you arrived at the final destination, you could Ventura Highway a 360 degree panoramic view of Michigan and Canada. Now I don't know about you but as a kid I remember watching ABC Wild World of Sports and the announcer Jim McKay would say those immortal words, ...” and the agony of defeat” picturing the skier falling off the ski jump. Remember Frank?
At the bottom of the ski jump in Michigan is a plaque that names who built the jump. That is my grandfather and his nickname was 'BEAN' Thanks Frank for reminding me to have fun!
Go make a video Frank and let me know you understand that the respect you cherish is within yours and everyone's reach without the agony of defeat. Unless you are friends with Tellman Knudson, then I guess the agony of the feet is acceptable. “
This has been another installment of The Great Pumpkin Letters. Stay Tuned! Pumpkin Island Studios ( not a Redneck, but Orange and Green!)
No comments:
Post a Comment