Orange Race: Joy Valencia Don't Wake the Lioness

Joy Valencia = Don’t Wake the Lioness

In Chief Crazy Captain Christo’s finest hour, he took the red eye

from Houston, Texas after a disasterous meeting with a young

singer from Texas.  Flying on the red eye from Texas, he landed

at LAX and proceeded in an orange Dodge Charger with Black

and Gold Lightning bolts on the hood, to search for one Joy

Valencia.

Now in case you have been living under ground or under a rock,

Joy Valencia is, well, she’s hard to label within her musical world.

But this is a story about the Great Pumpkin Letters and Chief

Crazy Captain Christo knows how to Wake this Lioness.

But before we go any FURTHUR ( shameless plug of the band FURTHUR)

I want to remind the readers of what happens when you try to

wake LINUS.  You know LINUS, he’s Charlie Brown’s friend and one of

the Peanuts gang.  Here take a look at the sleeping Linus before

we get back to the story.

Now, out of sheer luck, Chief Crazy Captain Christo happened to run into

Joy Valencia in Los Angeles.  He had checked in earlier in the day at the

VEGAN Hotel in the hopes that the Orange Miracle he had heard about

from reading the ONION was true.  It wasn’t but out of sheer coincidence

there she was relaxing all by herself in the hotel’s JACUZZI , surrounded

by Palm Trees and the beautiful white light of a full moon.

Here is the conversation between Chief Crazy Captain Christo and Joy Valencia.

ENJOY. Joy Valencia’s name is JOY VAA ( Pronounced JOY VAY )

JOY VAA – “ Hey man what’s up? Nice night to be staying at the VEGAN HOTEL

This hot tub is just what I need to relax.  I have to lay down some vocals on my

next album and this gets me in the mood to really let loose and belt out …..

Joy Valencia went on for another twenty minutes before she stopped and said,

JOY VAA –“ Well enough about me, what are you doing in Los Angeles and what is

your name?"

CCCChristo –“ My name is Chief Crazy Captain Christo and I am writing a book called

the Orange Race.  I am in search of at least 72 female singers who would write a song

to compliment the 56 Chapters in each book”

JOY VAA –“ 56 Chapters?  How many books are you planning on writing? “

CCCChristo : “ Between 4 and 6 Books “

JOY VAA –“ And each Book has 56 Chapters?”

CCCChristo : “ Yes “

JOY VAA –“ And you want 72 female singer/songwriters ?  But that doesn’t fit. You

are writing a book with 56 Chapters.  72 and 56 doesn’t make any sense”

CCCChristo : “ Some Chapters will have more than one song in them.”

JOY VAA: “ OH ok I see, and you want me to write a song for the Orange Race?”

CCCChristo: “ Well actually, you already did.  Your song Don’t Wake the Lion will

fit in perfectly.”

JOY VAA : “ You already picked my song?”

CCCChristo :” That is if you agree.  When you agree, then you will have entered your

song in the Orange Race.  I will be able to write your part into the book and at the end

you will get a reward.”

JOY VAA :” What kind of reward?”

CCCChristo : “ Look over there?”

JOY VAA : “ Where?  All I see is Jeannie with her new boyfriend”

CCCChristo:” No, over there! You see that Orange Charger with Black and Gold Lightning

Bolts on the hood?  Well, as part of the Orange Race, you will be able to pick out

something similar that I am sure your husband would be more than thrilled to drive you

around in”

JOY VAA : “ Oh Hell no, that will be my baby!!!”

CCCChristo : “ Suit yourself Joy!  But anyway, think about it ok.  The Orange Race and

all the details will be coming shortly.  For now I have to go.  The Great Pumpkin Letters

has a lot of ground to cover.  It was great meeting you here.  Happy Halloween!”

And with that Chief Crazy Captain Christo was off on his Country Wide adventure.

Respectfully in TRUTH,

Author Christo Strom

Sole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels

Head of Angel Promotions

Miley Cyrus 2012: Orange Race Pumpkin Style

Miley Cyrus 2012: Orange Race Pumpkin Style

Chief Crazy Captain Christo was busy sailing around the world in 2012 when his S-crew on his ship The Anada Know wanted to dock in the S-port in Miami Florida. So without hesitation because he knew the S-crew really wanted to go to Disneyworld to see Miley Cyrus perform, the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo did what any logical CC Captain would do. He made a midnight run to Daytona Beach and rammed the beach. With his S-crew safely on hard dry land, he hailed a rather large Hummer Limo to take the S-crew to Disneyworld for a little R and R. ( Author's note: R and R stands for Rock and Roll)

Upon entering the awesome theme park, he noticed that Miley Cyrus was performing there all week. He told his S-crew to be back on board the Anada Know in exactly Seven days. Every S-crew member rolled their eyes and said " Aye Aye Aye Aye Aye Aye Aye " The Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo got down on his knees in front of the S-crew and said a rather loud prayer for Randy Rhoads. He got back up and thanked the S-crew for remembering Randy but scolded them as well. You see when the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo is on a mission, he does not like to look back on the past for fear of the pains beating deep within his heart. As the S-crew said thank you for the week long fur low, Chief Crazy Captain Christo cleverly disguised himself as Munko Christo ( aka The O-Range Meek and Wild Munko Christo this time!!!)

He casually sauntered up to the stage where Miley Cyrus was performing some song about a party in the U.S.A. So Munko Christo did the unthinkable. He gyrated his gravitational flow and soared just above where Miley was singing. Her papa Billy Ray " Doc" Cyrus was just to the left of the stage. Munko Christo had to think fast. So there hovering above Miley's stage, was an O-Range Meek and Wild Munko Christo that only Miley and " Doc" could see.

Now for this conversation between Miley Cyrus and Munko Christo, Miley Cyrus has been given the name Miles Seven and Munko Christo is going by the name of MAW TAZ WELL. We pick up the conversation as Miley is looking heavenly and Munko Christo is doing his best to get her attention. Enjoy!

Miles Seven: " Hey look everyone a big ol bright orange blob of pumpkin goo is hovering over my head"

MAW TAZ WELL: " Ms. Miley, it is I, Chief Crazy Captain Christo. I have transformed myself into Munko Christo and keep singing while I talk to you Miley. Only you and your dad can see me right now. Hey what's up Doc?" Billy Ray Cyrus was speechless and I believe his knees were buckling.

Miles Seven: " Are you crazy?!! That is the coolest get up I have ever seen. How do you do that?"

MAW TAZ WELL" Ancient Chinese er ahh Ancient Native American er ahh oh hell I learned it from The Great Pumpkin.

Miles Seven: " Wow really can you teach me how to do it?"

MAW TAZ WELL: " Sure but you have to do me one favor. Actually you have to do me seven favors one favor at a time."

Miles Seven: " Awesome man!! I'll do anything for you Chief Crazy Captain Christo!"

MAW TAZ WELL: " OK Miley, the first favor I am asking you to do me for is this. See if you can't assemble all your lady friends you trust from the country to assemble sometime between June 21st 2012 and September 21^st  2012 for the first ever running of the Orange Race. You are to tell no one of this vision you are having right now. Keep this a secret Miley. I am posting this vision you are having right now as I speak on the Internet, you know the same Internet that Al Gore invented. I am giving no vision to Al Gore only to you and your dad Billy Ray " Doc" Cyrus" Now if I see that anyone has messed this up on the Internet I will go after Al Gore and become The Punisher!!!"

Miles Seven:" Wow talk about an inconvenient truth! Ok Chief Crazy Captain Christo I will try. Any particular reason you are calling it the Orange Race and what is the occasion?"

MAW TAZ WELL: " I am in the process of gathering influential people together to help build a Theatrical Tree House for a young American Girl who has had a rough start in life and it will only get rougher unless we can band together to make a total American Dream come true.  The Orange Race is my homage

to the Great Pumpkin and also I will be teaching National Debt Training along the way.

Can I count on your support?"

Miles Seven: " Can I sing along the Orange Race?"

MAW TAZ WELL: " You can sing anywhere along mile seven.  There is 14 miles a day so

plan accordingly!"

Miles Seven : " Deal Chief Crazy Captain Christo I'll get the word out"

MAW TAZ WELL: " THANK YOU MILEY!"

And with that Munko Christo levitated back down to the ground at Disneyworld and let his S-Crew have their Seven Days of fun in Orlando. Meanwhile Chief Crazy Captain Christo decided to do a solo mission sail looking for Penelope Cruz. He had seven days to find her but where to look? Ah the search continues. This has been another abbreviated version of The Great Pumpkin Letters. Stay tuned for all of 2012 and beyond.


Author Christo Strom
Sole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels
Head of Angel Promotions