Albert Pujols : Left Field Eyeore and 100 Acre Pumpkin Patch

Albert Pujols : Left Field Eyeore and the 100 Acre Pumpkin Patch

     Chief Crazy Captain Christo had to think fast.  Halloween 2011 was fast

approaching and Penelope Cruz was no where in sight. So he did the

unthinkable.  He disguised himself as a blade of green grass in left field

at the 2011 World Series.  It was Game three between the Texas Rangers

and the Saint Louis Cardinals.  He stood in Left Field right under the E

in the GEICO sign.  Albert Pujols had already hit two home  runs and it

was the bottom of the seventh inning.  Nelson Cruz was up to bat and

then it hit him.  Pure Genius in the 7^th Inning.  He was just about to

transform from a blade of Green Grass to the Orange Blob of Baseball

Light when Chief Crazy Captain Christo looked behind him and saw a fan

slowly winding up to throw something.  He had to move fast in order to

protect the St. Louis Cardinals Matt Holliday from certain disaster.  So

he froze time and everything in it and casually walked up to Albert Pujols

who was playing 1^st base at the time.

Now here is the conversation between Albert Pujols and Chief Crazy Captain

Christo. Albert Pujols is going by the name of Sluggy Bear and Chief Crazy

Captain Christo is going as L.F. iKNOW.  Please enjoy this spoof of the Great

Pumpkin Letters at the World Series 2011.

Sluggy Bear, looking around at everything frozen in time, except  an Orange

Blob of Baseball Light, spoke first: “ What the hell is going on here?”

L F iKNOW, singing, “ It’s a Joe Buck dancers choice my friend , you  better take

my advice, you know all the rules by now and the fire from the ice.”

Sluggy Bear: “ Wow, I must be tripping. An Orange Blob of Baseball Light that is

singing out of tune and it mentioned Joe Buck”

LF iKNOW : Hey Albert it is I Chief Crazy Captain Christo .  Look I’ve only got one

chance to do this right so here it is.  Look out in the Left Field bleachers and the

person that is the seventh person from the left is going to throw a ball at Matt

Holliday.  He would have hit him squarely on the head but I want you to notice

that I am keeping with a theme during the Great Pumpkin Letters.  I already know

that Warren Buffett was a no show so he’s out.  Anyways, watch very closely at the

projection of the ball that is thrown in left field.

Sluggy Bear: What like some kind of game of charades?  I am supposed to figure out

a word from the trajectory of the throw?

LF iKNOW : Yes Albert, and I will give you a hint.  He plays a Donkey in the Winnie the

Pooh story.”

Sluggy Bear, getting irate, “ Wait just a cotton picking minute here.  Are you making

fun of my name because you think it sounds like a children’s story Bears Ass?”

LF iKNOW : Pay attention Albert, by the way two games from now you will miss the

third base coaches sign in a Cardinal loss, now pay attention Mr. Pujols this is pure genius!

Sluggy Bear: “ It sounded like you said POOH Genius but Ok Ok sorry

Mr. Orange Blob of Baseball Light. I will watch the throw

from left field and give you my answer.  I am ready for you to unfreeze time so I can

see."

What was the  Orange Blob of Baseball Light trying to get through to Albert Pujols?

Will Penelope Cruz ever be found? And why wasn't Tim "Pumpkin "McCarver 
mentioned in this story about baseball? Stay tuned for you never know what will happen

with Chief Crazy Captain Christo.  This has been another edition of the Great Pumpkin

Letters.  Please read responsibly.

Respectfully in TRUTH,

Author Christo Strom

Sole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels

Head of Angel Promotions