Great Pumpkin Letters

Orange Race : Summer Pumpkins with Writchristo

2011-11-17T12:52:00.001-06:00

In a stunning turn of events, Chief Crazy Captain Christo

has finally come to his senses and has come back down

to Earth. In the most thought provoking Great Pumpkin

Letter to date, he explains in PLAIN ENGLISH what must

be done to create a masterpiece. Please forward this to

all your girlfriends. Thanks in advance! Now please read

and view carefully. You might just experience something

you haven't experienced EVER!

Just the facts Mam,part two

Monetary figures toget ready for the Orange Race.

DAY ONE

220 Women times$10,000.00 = $2,200,000.00

Minus 40 percent for Nationaland State Taxes gives One Person

who is the Trainerexactly:

$2,200,000.00 minus$880,000.00 = $1,320,000.00

DAY TWO

440 Women times$10,000.00 = $4,400,000.00

Minus 40 percent forNational and State Taxes gives One Person

who is the Trainerexactly:

$4,400,000.00minus $1,760,000.00 = $2,640,000.00

DAY THREE

660 Women times$10,000.00 = $6,600,000.00

Minus 40 percent forNational and State Taxes gives One Person

who is the Trainerexactly:

$6,600,000.00 minus$2,640,000.00 = $3,960,000.00

DAY FOUR

880 Women times$10,000.00 = $8,800,000.00

Minus 40 percent forNational and State Taxes gives One Person

who is the Trainerexactly:

$8,800,000.00 minus $3,520,000.00= $5,280,000.00

DAY FIVE

1100 Women times$10,000.00 = $11,000,000.00

Minus 40 percent for Nationaland State Taxes gives One Person

who is the Trainerexactly:

$11,000,000.00 minus$4,400,000.00 = $6,600,000.00

*** DAY SIX ***

4500 Women times$10,000.00 = $45,000,000.00

Minus 40 percent forNational and State Taxes gives One Person

who is the Trainerexactly:

$45,000,000.00 minus$18,000,000.00 = $27,000,000.00

Now according to mycalculations, Day Six would be a darn near

PERFECT DAY.

But , and I emphasizethis so I am loud and clear, we are not shooting

for just one perfectday. This is national debt training andif you are

going to besuccessful, you need to PLAN to be a success!

You do have to payattention if you want to be the ONE PERSON who

is the Trainer.

Now I am going toteach you how to look for patterns in writing.

One of the bestexamples of this I put a little bit in my last post

called Orange RaceBear With Me. Well, now I will put thewhole

46 verses of MATTHEWand after that I will put up three videos.

It is up to you tofigure out why? OK here we go with

MATTHEW 25

25 Thenshall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto

ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to

meet the bridegroom.

2 And five of themwere wise, and five were foolish.

3 They that werefoolish took their lamps, and took

no oil with them:

4 But the wise tookoil in their vessels with their

lamps.

5 While thebridegroom tarried, they all slumbered

and slept.

6 And at midnightthere was a cry mad, Behold, the

bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him.

7 Then all thosevirgins arose, and trimmed their

lamps.

8 And the foolishsaid unto the wise, Give us your

oil; for our lamps are gone out.

9 But the wiseanswered, saying , Not so; lest there

be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to

them that sell, and buy for yourselves.

10 And while theywent to buy, the bridegroom

came; and they that were ready went in with him

to the marriage: and the door was shut.

11 Afterward camealso the other virgins, saying,

Lord, Lord, open to us.

12 But he answered and said, Verily I say unto

you, I know you not.

13 Watch therefore,for ye know neither the day

nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh.

14 For the kingdomof heaven is as a man

travelling into a far country, who called his own

servants, and delivered unto them his goods.

15 And unto one hegave five talents, to another

two, and to another one; to every man according

to his several ability; and straightway took his

journey.

16 Then he that hadreceived the five talents

went and traded with the same, and made them

other five talents.

17 And likewise hethat had received two, he

also gained other two.

18 But he that hadreceived one went and digged

in the earth, and hid his lord’s money.

19 After a longtime the lord of those servants

cometh, and reckoneth with him..

20 And so he thathad received five talents came

and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou

deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have

gained beside them five talents more.

21 His lord saidunto him, Well done, thou good

and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a

few things, I will make thee ruler over many things:

enter thou into the joy of thy lord.

22 He also that hadreceived two talents came and

said, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me two talents:

behold, I have gained two other talents beside

them.

23 His lord saidunto him, Well done, good and

faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few

things, I will make thee ruler over many things:

enter into the joy of thy lord.

24 Then he that hadreceived the one talent

came and said, Lord, I knew thee that art an hard

man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and

gathering where thou hast not strawed:

25 And I wasafraid, and went and hid thy

talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is

thine.

26 His lordanswered and said unto him, Thou

wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that

I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I

have not strawed:

27 Thou oughtesttherefore to have put my

money to the exchangers, and then at my

coming I should have received mine own with

usury.

28 Take thereforethe talent from him, and

give it to him which hath ten talents.

29 For unto everyone that hath shall be

given, and he shall have abundance: but from

him that hath not shall be taken away even

that which he hath.

30 And cast ye theunprofitable servant into

outer darkness: there shall be weeping and

gnashing of teeth.

31 When the Son ofman shall come in his

glory, and all the holy angels with him, then

shall he sit on the throne of his glory:

32 And before himshall be gathered all

nations: and he shall separate them one

from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep

from the goats:

33 And he shall setthe sheep on his right

hand, but the goats on the left.

34 Then shall theKing say unto them on his

right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father,

inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the

foundation of the world:

35 For I was anhungred, and ye gave me

meat: I was thirsty and ye gave me drink: I was

a stranger, and ye took me in:

36 Naked, and yeclothed me: I was sick and

ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto

me.

37 Then shall therighteous answer him, saying,

Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed

thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

38 When we saw theea stranger, and took

thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?

39 Or when saw wethee sick, or in prison, and

came unto thee?

40 And the Kingshall answer and say unto them,

Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done

it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye

have done it unto me.

41 Then shall hesay also unto them on the left

hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting

fire, prepared for the devil and his angels:

42 For I was anhungred, and ye gave me no meat:

I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink:

43 I was astranger, and ye took me not in: naked

and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye

visited me not.

44 Then shall theyalso answer unto him, saying,

Lord, when we saw thee an hungred, or athirst, or

a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did

not minister unto thee?

45 Then shall heanswer them, saying, Verily I

say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of

the least of these, ye did it not to me.

46 And these shallgo away into everlasting

punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.

Patterns in the words: In Matthew 25 I look for thepattern

of Virgins, Verily,Five, Two and One.

Respectfully inTRUTH,

Author Christo Strom

Sole Owner of OrangeRace Card Angels

Head of AngelPromotions

P.S.

ORANGE RACE

Green Bay to ColoradoSprings

Get prepared.

Now as promised thethree videos. Figure out what is beingsaid

here and you will bemiles ahead in terms of National Debt Training

Good Luck!!!

David Freese : Most Valuable Pumpkin Script

2011-10-31T13:09:00.000-05:00

David Freese : Most Valuable Pumpkin Script

In an unprecedented move of bravado and fearlessness, ChiefCrazy

Captain Christo decided to pay Saint Louis Cardinals thirdbaseman and

recent Most Valuable Player in the 2011 World Series DavidFreese a

visit. The SaintLouis Cardinals had just beaten the Texas Rangers in a

thrilling 7 game series . David Freese had just been named Most Valuable

Player of the series by Commissioner Bud Selig and hadfinished up with all

his interviews for the night. Chief Crazy Captain Christo disguised himselfas

the LAST ORANGE BASEBALL ONFIELD reporter who carried withhim a

Blinding Orange Camera Light and asked David Freese a few questions.

For this conversation, David Freese will be known as PS 23and Chief Crazy

Captain Christo will be known as LOBO LOCO. ENJOY!

PS 23 : Wow, hey who keepsshining that bright orange light in my eyes. Would

you quit it I am blinded by the light!

LOBO LOCO : Mr Freese? DavidFreese? Can I get you to answer a fewquestions for

the folks back home in Minnesota?

PS 23: Minnesota? I’m notfrom Minnesota! Besides which weren’tthe Twins like

losers of 99 games this year? ( JOE MAUER aka JOE COOL, did you hear whathe just

said)

LOBO LOCO : Yeah so what’syour point.

PS 23: What’s my point?Are you kidding me? What’s my point? I was just named

MVP of the 2011 World Series baby! I don’t want to talk about the Twins. Are we

through here?

LOBO LOCO : Three morequestions for you and then I will let you go as I am sure Jay

Leno is way more important.

PS 23 : OK Cool bro. Askaway.

LOBO LOCO : Seeing how youwere just named the 2011 World Series MVP, what would

the MVP tell LINUS VAN PELT about wasting his time in thePumpkin Patch waiting up all

night for the Great Pumpkin.

PS 23 : I’d tell thatBLOCKHEAD to get his head in the game. You can’t become the MVP of

the World Series by waiting around for your dream to cometrue.

LOBO LOCO: That’s good advice Mr. Freese. Next question for you. All right, let’s go back

if we could to game 6 and it’s the bottome of the 9^thinning and the count is one ball and two

strikes. One morestrike and the Texas Rangers are World Series champions for the first time

in their team’s history. You hit a triple. Here let’s takea look.

LOBO LOCO ( continues)Now, it’s a well known fact that I have been looking for Penelope

Cruz for a long time in the Great Pumpkin Letters and itlooked to me like Nelson Cruz

communicated to me that NOPE PENELOPE is not here ChiefCrazy Captain Christo. So,

instead of concentrating on catching the ball, he missedyour routine hit and you get a

triple. That’s how Isee it. Nelson Cruz should have beennamed MVP of the World Series

for MISSING VALUABLE POPUP.

PS 23 : What? ( Rob Zombie’ssong thumping in the background!)

LOBO LOCO : That was justa little CRAZY humor. I’m just kidding. No,I just want to bring you

to the moment where it is the bottom of the eleventh inning,you lead off the inning with your

now infamous solo home run to win the game. Here is my question for you. Did you know

that by some weird ass coincidence,David and Goliath, PSALM23 AND a band who went by the name of

GRATEFUL DEAD predicted you would hit that home run?

PS 23: What? ( again RobZombie’s song is still thumping in the background)

Grateful Dead? PSALM 23 from the Bible? David and Goliath?What are you trying to say? That I

am in the Bible? Thisis too crazy for me! Give me some proof.

LOBO LOCO : As far as theBible is concerned, the 23^rd Psalm goes like this:

23 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall notwant.

2 He maketh me tolie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still

waters.

3 He restoreth mysoul: he leadeth me in the path of righteousness for

his name’s sake.

4 Yea, though I walkthrough the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no

evil: for thou artwith me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest atable before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou

anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6 Surely goodnessand mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I

will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

Now, your number is 23 and there are 6 verses in the PSALMwith the 6

being Game 6. Are youfollowing me David?

PS 23 ( eyes riveted onChief Crazy Captain Christo as he explains the TRUTH )

Yeah, go on Chief Crazy Captain Christo. This is getting interesting.

LOBO LOCO : David andGoliath , this one is a little bit more complicated so bear

with me here. BecauseGoliath was a Giant , we have to go back a year to

Edgar Renteria. There’sa song named Touch of Gray by the band Grateful Dead

that goes, I know therent is in arrears, the dog has not been fed in years….

It’s even worse than it appears.

PS 23 : What does thathave to do with David and Goliath? I’mnot exactly sure but

didn’t David take a stone out of his sling and hit Goliathin the middle of the forehead

to kill him. Ohwait, I get it. You’re saying myLouisville Slugger, is like the sling…

LOBO LOCO : SLING ===Slugger Louisville In Nailing Goliath === SLING === Saint

Louis’s Incredibly Nice Guy FOREHEAD would be Center Field in Saint Louis. BOOM!

PS 23 : Stop it you aregoing to make me cry!

LOBO LOCO : There’s nocrying in baseball. And finally again theband GRATEFUL DEAD

in Alabama Getaway, didn’t you have to walk away fromAlabama before you finally

arrived back to your home in Saint Louis?

PS 23 : This isunbelievable , how did you know that?

LOBO LOCO : Joe Buck andTim McCarver aren’t the only ones who know baseball you

know.

PS 23: Hey thanks a lot man. This has been real enlightening. But I heard once that you

were never supposed to discuss religion or the GreatPumpkin.

LOBO LOCO: That may be true but hear what else istrue. The Living Word of God is not

a religion. It’s aWAY OF LIFE much like the Orange Race will be! Much like baseball
is to you and your family.

PS 23: Ok are we done here? What did you say , the Orange Race?

LOBO LOCO : One lastquestion, There is something I am organizingcalled the Orange Race

that will start in Green Bay Wisconsin and go to ColoradoSprings in the year 2012.

PS 23 , interrupting ChiefCrazy Captain Christo, : Let me guess, you want me to bring my

Corvette along?

LOBO LOCO : No, that’s notit. You will be playing baseball againand I’m sure you will be

too busy to attend. Would you do me a favor and go to Texas in the off season and pick

up a CJAYE LeROSE and give her a spin in your new Corvette? She is a country singin Chick

from Texas and didn’t know about Corvette being from BowlingGreen Kentucky.

PS 23 : She’s not going toattack me is she?

LOBO LOCO: I’ll tell you what I will do. I will put up a block of six videos.
Just so you know that would be a first and

I am dubbing it the BLOCKHEAD video collection for DavidFreese. It has been nice meeting

you here Mr. Freese and congratulations on being named the

MOST VALUABLE PUMPKIN in the short history so far of theGreat Pumpkin Letters. Now

the interview is over. Have fun on Jay Leno and remember to look out for CJAYE LEROSE.

PS 23 : AYE AYE AYE AYE AYE AYE AYE CAPTAIN Christo!

This has been a very special HALLOWEEN EDITION 2011 of theGreat Pumpkin Letters.

Now as promised here are the 6 BLOCKHEAD VIDEOS for:

#23 St.Louis Cardinals 3^rd Baseman

DAVID FREESE

Respectfully in TRUTH

Author Christo Strom

Sole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels

Head of Angel Promotions

P.S. ( that’s Pumpkin Script! ) HAPPY HALLOWEEN 2011 fromSt. Paul to St. Louis!!!!!

and yes down to Texas and to the East and to the West andeverywhere on Earth!

Albert Pujols : Left Field Eyeore and 100 Acre Pumpkin Patch

2011-10-25T13:06:00.000-05:00

Albert Pujols : Left Field Eyeore and the 100 Acre PumpkinPatch

Chief CrazyCaptain Christo had to think fast. Halloween 2011 was fast

approaching and Penelope Cruz was no where in sight. So hedid the

unthinkable. Hedisguised himself as a blade of green grass in left field

at the 2011 World Series. It was Game three between the Texas Rangers

and the Saint Louis Cardinals. He stood in Left Field right under the E

in the GEICO sign. AlbertPujols had already hit two home runs andit

was the bottom of the seventh inning. Nelson Cruz was up to bat and

then it hit him. PureGenius in the 7^th Inning. Hewas just about to

transform from a blade of Green Grass to the Orange Blob ofBaseball

Light when Chief Crazy Captain Christo looked behind him andsaw a fan

slowly winding up to throw something. He had to move fast in order to

protect the St. Louis Cardinals Matt Holliday from certaindisaster. So

he froze time and everything in it and casually walked up toAlbert Pujols

who was playing 1^st base at the time.

Now here is the conversation between Albert Pujols and ChiefCrazy Captain

Christo. Albert Pujols is going by the name of Sluggy Bearand Chief Crazy

Captain Christo is going as L.F. iKNOW. Please enjoy this spoof of the Great

Pumpkin Letters at the World Series 2011.

Sluggy Bear, looking around at everything frozen in time,except an Orange

Blob of Baseball Light, spoke first: “ What the hell isgoing on here?”

L F iKNOW, singing, “ It’s a Joe Buck dancers choice myfriend , you better take

my advice, you know all the rules by now and the fire fromthe ice.”

Sluggy Bear: “ Wow, I must be tripping. An Orange Blob ofBaseball Light that is

singing out of tune and it mentioned Joe Buck”

LF iKNOW : Hey Albert it is I Chief Crazy Captain Christo. Look I’ve only got one

chance to do this right so here it is. Look out in the Left Field bleachers and the

person that is the seventh person from the left is going tothrow a ball at Matt

Holliday. He wouldhave hit him squarely on the head but I want you to notice

that I am keeping with a theme during the Great PumpkinLetters. I already know

that Warren Buffett was a no show so he’s out. Anyways, watch very closely at the

projection of the ball that is thrown in left field.

Sluggy Bear: What like some kind of game of charades? I am supposed to figure out

a word from the trajectory of the throw?

LF iKNOW : Yes Albert, and I will give you a hint. He plays a Donkey in the Winnie the

Pooh story.”

Sluggy Bear, getting irate, “ Wait just a cotton pickingminute here. Are you making

fun of my name because you think it sounds like a children’sstory Bears Ass?”

LF iKNOW : Pay attention Albert, by the way two games fromnow you will miss the

third base coaches sign in a Cardinal loss, now payattention Mr. Pujols this is pure genius!

Sluggy Bear: “ It sounded like you said POOH Genius but OkOk sorry

Mr. Orange Blob of Baseball Light. I will watch the throw

from left field and give you my answer. I am ready for you to unfreeze time so I can

see."

What was the OrangeBlob of Baseball Light trying to get through to Albert Pujols?

Will Penelope Cruz ever be found? And why wasn't Tim "Pumpkin "McCarver
mentioned in this story about baseball? Stay tuned for you never know what willhappen

with Chief Crazy Captain Christo. This has been another edition of the GreatPumpkin

Letters. Please readresponsibly.

Respectfully in TRUTH,

Author Christo Strom

Sole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels

Head of Angel Promotions

Lady and Grateful Big Man's Pumpkin Sax

2011-10-21T09:19:00.001-05:00

In a Great Pumpkin Letters first, there will be no mentionof the Great Pumpkin

or the search for Penelope Cruz. Chief Crazy Captain Christowill resume his search

in the next Great Pumpkin Letters . No, this time theattention goes to one

Clarence Clemons. Please remember Clarence and the contributions he gave

to the music world. I’lllet Lady Gaga explain the rest in a speech. Enjoy!

LADY GAGA said,

" I should have filmed the evening at the studio. Dad,remember? I wrote this song called ‘The Edge Of Glory,’ and I wrote it about mygrandfather while he was dying last year. And my first experience with musicwas my father playing vinyl of the E-Street Band. My dad used to swing mearound the living room while gravy was boiling in the kitchen, and then he usedto cry. And he would run out of the room and my mother would follow him, and Iwould say, ‘Mommy, why is Daddy crying?’ And I would hear, ‘Because somedayshe’s going to fall in love with another man and leave me.’ And it was to thesound of ‘Thunder Road.’

When I wrote ‘The Edge of Glory,’ and when I finished thesong, I told my friends and my father —I said, ‘There’s something missing.’ And they said, ‘Well, what is it?’ And Isaid, ‘Well I’ve been through so many challenges and so many obstacles alongthe way that although I am very young I don’t remember what my youth soundslike.’ But Clarence and the sound of his saxophone – that was the sound of myyouth. It was the only instrument and the only poetry that described the way Ifelt when I was five and when I was six and when my Dad told me about growingup in New Jersey and what it was like to see Bruce on the boardwalk and makeout with girls on the beach.

I wish everyone could have been there when Clarence played.He played in that studio with me – Victoria, you remember – it was like he was25 years old. Not a hitch, not nothing He took his hat off and let hisdreadlocks go.

And for the brief time that I knew him – and for those ofyou that know him very well – you know that his heart is so wide. He envelopsyou with this huge spirit, if you let him. And I knew that it was destiny. AndI knew that every time the song played that my grandpa was looking down andthanking me for not the gift that I had given to my fans, but the gift that Ihad given to my father by having Clarence on that record.

When he came to the Monster Ball, Clarence stood up. AndVictoria said, ‘He stood up, Gaga! And he was dancing!’

So tonight, as much as I appreciate this award for me, Ibelieve that the true woman of the year is Victoria. You are very strong – andyou’ve been stronger for longer than this year. You are a rainbow and tonight Iwear not just what Clarence gave me [a hairpiece] but I wear what you havegiven me [a bracelet]. I will never forget the way that you’ve not just touchedmy life, but Victoria — there’s only one thing that Italian girls want to do.We just want to make our Dads proud.

So may The Big Man live on forever. There is no edge when itcomes to Clarence’s glory."

.....
And now a word from our author....with a nod to Bob Dylan and Jerry Garcia and Clarence Clemons.

A saxophone someplace far off played
As she was walking on by a Jersey arcade
As the light bust through an Orange Pumpkin shade where he was waking up
She dropped a coin into the cup of The Big Man at the gate
And forgot about a simple twist of fate.

Respectfully in TRUTH,

Author Christo Strom
Sole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels
Head of Angel Promotions

Jesus, Crazy , Jobs with PAP oChristo

2011-10-19T11:50:00.000-05:00

Jesus, Crazy , Jobs with PAP oChristo

In the most outrageous Great Pumpkin Letter to date, Chief

Crazy Captain Christo has called an emergency councilmeeting

of the Past Pumpkin Healers together to decide what to dowith

the former Apple Boss Steve Jobs.

For those of you who are just coming out of a coma, SteveJobs

recently passed away and is now residing in Pumpkin Villeand is

feeling a little bit lost. You see, Mr. Jobs thought he was going to

be in Apple Heaven after he died. He has been down in the dumps

for days on end and has even been heard to say about PumpkinVille,

“ And one more thing, this totally bytes. Pumpkin Ville should be

completely wiped off the map. If this was like Silicon Valley, I’d

show them one more thing or two!!!”

It was at the moment Steve Jobs said bytes that Chief CrazyCaptain

Christo sprung into action. Calling on the Past Pumpkin Healers, he

sent the message through the air to Jesus and Crazy Horse tomeet

in the CENTER of PUMPKIN VILLE. Once seated, the two GREATEST

PUMPKIN HEALERS of all time, Jesus and Crazy Horseconfronted

Steve Jobs on his lack of emotion on being a part of PumpkinVille.

Jesus and Crazy Horse waited for Chief Crazy Captain Christoto arrive

on his Orange and Black Fast Tracker Truck Skateboard. The two

pumpkin healers could only grin as they saw the cloud ofdust that

would have made Pigpen proud. Racing straight down the hill in a

bonzai stance, Chief Crazy Captain Christo was the pictureof pure

insanity. Reachingspeeds of over 800 miles per hour, yes you read

that right 800 Miles per hour, he slowly put on the airbrakes and

came to a complete stop. Everyone, including Steve Jobs, marveled

at the calm, cool and collected nature of Chief CrazyCaptain Christo.

Giving a high five to the GREAT PUMPKIN, Chief Crazy CaptainChristo

looked around and stated,

“ So this is the great SaintStephen “

Now for the conversation between Chief Crazy CaptainChristo, Jesus,

Crazy Horse and Steve Jobs. For this conversation, Jesus’ name has

been changed to FAITH, Crazy Horse’s name has been changedto

HOPE, Chief Crazy Captain Christo’s name has been changed to

ORANGE DUDE and Steve Jobs name has been changed to

CRAPPLE. Enjoy the show!!!

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

CRAPPLE : idemand to know why Apple is not celebrated herein

Pumpkin Ville. Iworked all my life trying to make life easier for

people on Earth with the iMac, the iPad, the iTunes, theiPhone.

Here you morons, take a look at my speech at Stanford.”

It was after Steve Jobs ( aka CRAPPLE ) had his say, thatJESUS

spoke thus,

FAITH : idemanded nothing of you CRAPPLE yet you insisted on

thinking different. Behold, I come as a thief. Blessed is he that

watcheth, and keepeth his garments, lest he walk naked, andthey

see his shame.

HOPE : FAITH, ibelieve that was my line. I’m the thief here remember.

I am the thief of one hundred horses. Come on FAITH get with the program

ORANGE DUDE : FAITH, HOPE is right. Remember FAITH and HOPE why icalled

us all together. Steve Jobs deserves an answer as to why he is crashing

every night in PUMPKIN VILLE. He has no clue as to why PUMPKIN VILLE

even exists. iamcounting on you FAITH and HOPE to give CRAPPLE the

answer he is seeking.

CRAPPLE : Enough with the FAITH HOPE and CRAPPLE namecalling. Why

cant’t you call us by our real names. My name is Steve Jobsand iran Apple.

isee Jesus and Crazy Horse and you Chief Crazy CaptainChristo.,

WHO ARE YOU? Who who who who?

ORANGE DUDE : FAITH and HOPE, ican see this is going to takelonger than

ithought. it is timefor drastic action. Release theiperfection quota in

rounds of 360,000 and let Mr. CRAPPLE in on the greatestHalloween

legend ever produced. It is called the PAP oCHRISTo

in Unison both FAITH and HOPE chimed in iiCaptain. For FAITH and HOPE

knew that Mr.CRAPPLE still had a lot of pent up apprehension about landing

in Pumpkin Ville.

After all, everyone on Earth just lost their JOBS. But the voices in

Pumpkin Ville all chimed in to make an exquisite brightORANGE iSing on

the Cake Cloud as they sang to Mr CRAPPLE

iCan see candy now the pain is gone

iCan see all Pumpkin Pies in my way.

It was when Steve Jobs looked around and opened his eyes FORREAL

in Pumpkin Ville that he exclaimed ,

CRAPPLE : iCare isall around me here. HMM,

maybe Chief Crazy Captain Christo isn’t such an iCLOD afterall. What did

he say his name was the ORANGE DUDE.

After Steve Jobs got over his iNITIAL shock of being inPumpkin Ville he

decided that he really did have a lot more to learn aboutLIFE and LOVE

that he didn’t even know existed. Chief Crazy Captain Christo left

Jesus, Crazy Horse and Steve Jobs in Pumpkin Ville to iRONout some

more details. Thosethree are going to be busy for awhile as they will

be working together , hmm iDON’T know, probably for iNFINITYtimes

three to get PUMPKIN VILLE ready for the next iPARTY Pooperto come

through. As ChiefCrazy Captain Christo was leaving Pumpkin Ville, he

remembered why he left. He was determined to find PENELOPE CRUZ

come hell or high water.

Stay tuned to see if Chief Crazy Captain Christo ever findsthe one and

only PENELOPE “ PUMPKIN “ CRUZ.

iRespectfully in iTRUTH,

iAuthor Christo Strom

iSole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels

iHead of Angel Promotions

P.S. On a much lighter ( and ORANGE ) note, if you areinterested

in forming the CIRCLE OF LIGHT , the Orange Race will berunning

in four states oHOPEFULLYo in 2012. Wisconsin, Iowa, Nebraska and

Colorado. Health andWealth . See you there!

Orange Race : Orianthi's Guitar and Alice's Cane

2011-10-12T15:11:00.001-05:00

Orange Race: Orianthi’s Finnieston Frankenstein

In a rare and increasingly dangerous fashion, Chief CrazyCaptain

Christo went from the 1800’s with Alicia Keys to a slightly futuristic

concert appearance with Orianthi.

You see on Halloween 2011, Orianthi will be playing guitarfor the

Alice Cooper band over in Scotland. Finnieston Glasgow,Scotland

at the Clyde Auditorium to be exact.

So Chief Crazy Captain Christo disguised himself as theOrange Blob

of Light and boarded a cruise ship named the IRONIC. Once aboard,

he said his prayers that no icebergs would damage the hulllike the

TITANIC. He got tohis cabin and decided to stay there and sleep.

Once asleep, the nightmare began. The ship did indeed hit an iceberg

and began to sink. Chief Crazy Captain Christo jumped up and ran

out on the deck. Pandemonium was everywhere. People were

jumping overboard and landing in the frigid Atlantic Ocean.

He looked around and heard a rather loud band on deckplaying

a song he had never heard before. He looked closer and there she

was playing guitar. It was Orianthi and next to her was a tuxedo

clad Alice Cooper with top hat and rocking cane.

Now here is the conversation as it went down betweenOrianthi,

Alice Cooper and Chief Crazy Captain Christo.

Orianthi’s name has been shortened to OR.

Alice Cooper’s name has been shortened to AL

and Chief Crazy Captain Christo’s name has been shortened to

JUST PLAIN CRAZY. Enjoy!

OR: Are you Chief Crazy Captain Christo?

JUST PLAIN CRAZY : Yes I am but you and Alice were supposedto be

in Glasgow Scotland tonight. I was going to surprise you as the Orange

Blob of White Lightning Fire as a special trick I learnedhanging out with…

Alice Cooper interrupted JUST PLAIN CRAZY

AL: Orange Blob of White Lightning Fire ey? Who put you up to this?

Is Rob Zombie going to jump out and say BOO!!!???

JUST PLAIN CRAZY: No, I do my own special effects. Why aren’t you in

Scotland on Halloween? Isn’t it about show time?

OR: We are in Scotland. This is just a figment of your imagination. You are

sleeping right now. You were worried that the cruise shipIRONIC was

going to hit an iceberg. Well, it did and Alice and I just showed up to

tell you that you had better grab a hold of my guitar andAlice’s Cane.

We are in charge of our own special effects. Ready, Chief, Hang on!

Chief Crazy Captain Christo was treated to a rocking greatshow in Scotland

thanks to Orianthi’s Guitar and Alice Cooper’s Cane. He did wake up with

a bump on his head though and a note from Alice. It read Happy Halloween

now GET OFF MY STAGE, I’ve got a show to do! But before he left, he asked

Orianthi to write a 3 or 4 Minute song for the OrangeRace.

So Chief Crazy Captain Christo decided to fly back to theStates and resume

his search for Penelope Cruz. Will he ever find her in time to save theGreat

Pumpkin? Stay Tuned!

Respectfully in TRUTH,

Author Christo Strom

Sole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels

Head of Angel Promotions

Orange Race : Alicia Keys meets Crazy Christo

2011-10-08T14:33:00.001-05:00

Orange Race : Alicia Keys meets Crazy Christo

Chief Crazy Captain Christo is rummaging through hisschedule for 2012 and notices that Alicia Keys is hitting her stride. In hisgreatest appearance of this year, the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo has setaside this day to get in contact with the suite songstress Alicia Keys. Hedisguises himself as The O-Range Blob of Light. Only this time, he throws in aNING. So to get my readers up to speed, it is pronounced The O-Range Blob ofLightnin G. It really can't be described because it has to be experienced.Alicia Keys is about to become experienced. Her name has been changed to ALIKEbecause I don't know her well enough to say ALOVE. So without furtheradulations, I bring you the conversation between Chief Crazy Captain Christoand Alicia Keys. Alicia is on stage at one of her brilliant concerts when ablinding O-Range light casually appears before her.

ALIKE: " Awwright who's got the orange light shinin inmy face. Please stop! I can't see the keys on my piano. Oh wow this isn'thappening to me. I'm going blind like Stevie Wonder. "

O-Range Blob of Lightnin G: " Relax Alicia. It is onlyme. I am Chief Crazy Captain Christo. I have been sent here by my higher powerwhom I like to call The Great One. Everyone else knows him as The GreatPumpkin. "

ALIKE: " You mean the Charles Schultz, Lucy pulls thefootball on Charlie Brown, Linus waits all night in the field with what's hername... uh uh..."

O-Range Blob of Lightnin G: " Charlie's little sisterSally Brown"

ALIKE: " Yeah Yeah Yeah, that one. So what on Earth areyou doing on my stage while I am in the middle of a concert in front of 29,000people who paid good money to see me sing my songs. I don't have time for thisman. Please get off my stage."

As soon as she said that The O-Range Blob of Lightnin Gtransported Ms. Alicia Keys to another dimension in time. In the blink of aneye, Alicia Keys was in Omaha Nebraska. She was no longer on stage where she isthe most comfortable. This time and for the first time in The Great PumpkinLetter history, time went backwards to the 1800's . Alicia Keys was frightenedout of her wits. She was on a stagecoach going through Omaha Nebraska.

ALIKE: " Please Chief Crazy Captain Christo, pleasetake me back. I don't want to look. It is too painful."

O-Range Blob of Lightnin G: " Alicia look at me. If Itake you back to your comfort zone, will you do me a favor."

ALIKE: " Yes anything you ask anything. Just get me outof here. Please Chief I am begging you. What do you want me to do?"

O-Range Blob of Lightnin G: " Two things really. Firstthing is to help me get the word out about building an Orange Circle of Lightduring the Orange Race. It is really a huge undertaking and I will need yourhelp. Second, and this is the most important part. Would you come up on stagewith me and help me sing a song for all those particiapating in the Orange Race?Those are the two things that would mean the most to me and if ever I neededhelp would you consider doing these things?"

ALIKE: " Yes, I will do that! Whew, for a minute thereI thought you were going to say something else. Hey Chief Crazy CaptainChristo. Why did you take me back to Omaha Nebraska in the 1800's. That was themost terrifying stagecoach ride I have ever been on. And what does this have todo with The Great Pumpkin?"

O-Range Blob of Lightnin G: " Well Ms Keys, I am soglad you asked. But this one defies any explanation. How long did it take youto go from being on stage at your concert to where I just took you?'

ALIKE: " I don't know maybe a couple of minutes"

O-Range Blob of Lightnin G: " Exactly! Happy Halloween inadvance Alicia. See you later!"

And with that Chief Crazy Captain Christo safely returnedAlicia Keys to her adoring fans. But what

was it that frightened Alicia Keys? And who was surrounding her stage coach inOmaha

Nebraska?

Stay Tuned for more to come!

Respectfully in TRUTH

Author Christo Strom

Sole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels

Head of Angel Promotions

P.S. Orange Race needs Women Artists in the Summer of 2012

Beyonce: Bagging Up Z's Candy before the Orange Race

2011-10-04T11:43:00.001-05:00

Beyonce: Bagging Up Z’s Candy before the Orange Race

Chief Crazy Captain Christo decided to start the New Yearoff by not making any resolutions. He decided a long time ago to gathertogether a super group of female artists to help him bridge the gap betweenprofessionalism and just plain crappy entertainment. In this abbreviatedversion of The Great Pumpkin Letters, Chief Crazy Captain Christo is goingwhere no man has gone before. He is going to hover above Beyonce as an O-RangeBlob of Light Fishing Nets. Two O-Range Fishing Nets to be exact. Here is exactlywhat happened when Chief Crazy Captain Christo accidentally fell on Beyonce.Her name has been changed to Z-GR ( pronounced ZZZeeeeGGGIRRR) because she ismarried to Jay Z. Chief Crazy Captain Christo’s name has been changed to O.W.L.For reasons known only to him. Here it is people ENJOY!

Scene set up, picture two rather clumsy O-Range Fishing Netscollapsing on top of Beyonce who is both startled and mortified.

Z-GR- ” What the…?”

O.W.L-” Beyonce, sorry for the intrusion, but I need yourhelp. I am gathering up top notch performers and since I believe you qualifyfor top notch, will you help out?”

Z-GR-” What? Jesus Frankenstein Jumpin Jahosephat! I must beoutta my mind. A talking O-Range Blob of Light Fishing Nets. Get offa me thisinstant!”

O.W.L. ” As you wish. But before I get offa you, I wouldlike to offa you a golden opportunity Beyonce. You see there is a little girlwho needs our help. She is crying oh so softly for a chance reunion. That isall I can say at this point. It will take extreme cooperation on everyone’spart. At this moment, I am gathering up hot female artists not because I thinkthey are hot. I know they are hot! Smokin hot! But because I need your help inpreventing one little girl’s heart from experiencing the final silence of acold icy end when most people just give up and die.”

The moment these words had floated away from the icy coldO-Range Blob of Light Fishing Nets, he appeared before Beyonce. Standing infront of Beyonce for the first time in all his GLORY, the Good Chief CrazyCaptain Christo extended an arm of friendship and asked her once again.

O.W.L. ” I would get down on bended knee but that would bean insult to your husband Jay Z. So instead I stand before you in all myO-Range Glory to ask you to help me perform a child’s story. About a littlegirl whom we all have seen before. But this time I’m asking for your time and alittle more. Let’s build a Theatrical Tree House one that welcomes all. If youcan hear me Beyonce will you help me plan The Ball. I promise to show up andhelp in any way. But I need you Beyonce my time is slipping away. I’ve beenhere long enough but soon I will be gone. Will you help me pull this off, comeon stage and together we’ll sing a song. With Seventy Nine Suite Ladies and oneO-Range Blob of Light. We’ll sing a song so beautiful, one that turns the dayinto a stronger light. I will end this little version of The Great PumpkinLetters like this, If you answer yes Beyonce then give my cheek a kiss. Thatwill be a sign that you will come on board, sorry for falling on you with fishnets, but it was all I could afford.”

With rivers of tears falling off of Chief Crazy CaptainChristo’s face and on to his electric Dimebag Razorback Explosion guitar, hestood there waiting for either a slap in the face or a belly laugh and a ” Hellno!’ from Beyonce. But that didn’t happen. Instead, he opened his eyes andcould not believe it. Beyonce ran off stage crying hysterically but not forlong. She brought her husband Jay Z back on stage with her. But Jay Z stoppedshort. About ten feet short of Chief Crazy Captain Christo. Something pulledhim back but Beyonce kept coming. She planted a kiss on Chief Crazy CaptainChristo’s cheek and the transformation began. Out of New York they flew tillthey were perched on a hill near Omaha Nebraska. But Jay Z was missing. Beyonceinquired where her husband was. Chief Crazy Captain Christo explained toBeyonce that during the transformation, Jay Z called the Great Pumpkin a jerkso now Jay Z is stuck in Jer Z with Chief Crazy Captain Christo’s crazy Auntnamed Jemima Pancakenstein. This has been another abbreviated installment ofThe Great Pumpkin Letters. Stay Tuned America!

Respectfully IN Truth,

Christo Strom

Sole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels

Head of Angel Promotions

Orange Race: Joy Valencia Don't Wake the Lioness

2011-10-02T13:08:00.000-05:00

Joy Valencia = Don’t Wake the Lioness

In Chief Crazy Captain Christo’s finest hour, he took thered eye

from Houston, Texas after a disasterous meeting with a young

singer from Texas. Flying on the red eye from Texas, he landed

at LAX and proceeded in an orange Dodge Charger with Black

and Gold Lightning bolts on the hood, to search for one Joy

Valencia.

Now in case you have been living under ground or under arock,

Joy Valencia is, well, she’s hard to label within hermusical world.

But this is a story about the Great Pumpkin Letters andChief

Crazy Captain Christo knows how to Wake this Lioness.

But before we go any FURTHUR ( shameless plug of the bandFURTHUR)

I want to remind the readers of what happens when you try to

wake LINUS. You knowLINUS, he’s Charlie Brown’s friend and one of

the Peanuts gang. Here take a look at the sleeping Linus before

we get back to the story.

Now, out of sheer luck, Chief Crazy Captain Christo happenedto run into

Joy Valencia in Los Angeles. He had checked in earlier in the day at the

VEGAN Hotel in the hopes that the Orange Miracle he hadheard about

from reading the ONION was true. It wasn’t but out of sheer coincidence

there she was relaxing all by herself in the hotel’s JACUZZI, surrounded

by Palm Trees and the beautiful white light of a full moon.

Here is the conversation between Chief Crazy Captain Christoand Joy Valencia.

ENJOY. Joy Valencia’s name is JOY VAA ( Pronounced JOY VAY )

JOY VAA – “ Hey man what’s up? Nice night to be staying atthe VEGAN HOTEL

This hot tub is just what I need to relax. I have to lay down some vocals on my

next album and this gets me in the mood to really let looseand belt out …..

Joy Valencia went on for another twenty minutes before shestopped and said,

JOY VAA –“ Well enough about me, what are you doing in LosAngeles and what is

your name?"

CCCChristo –“ My name is Chief Crazy Captain Christo and Iam writing a book called

the Orange Race. I amin search of at least 72 female singers who would write a song

to compliment the 56 Chapters in each book”

JOY VAA –“ 56 Chapters? How many books are you planning on writing? “

CCCChristo : “ Between 4 and 6 Books “

JOY VAA –“ And each Book has 56 Chapters?”

CCCChristo : “ Yes “

JOY VAA –“ And you want 72 female singer/songwriters ? But that doesn’t fit. You

are writing a book with 56 Chapters. 72 and 56 doesn’t make any sense”

CCCChristo : “ Some Chapters will have more than one song inthem.”

JOY VAA: “ OH ok I see, and you want me to write a song forthe Orange Race?”

CCCChristo: “ Well actually, you already did. Your song Don’t Wake the Lion will

fit in perfectly.”

JOY VAA : “ You already picked my song?”

CCCChristo :” That is if you agree. When you agree, then you will have enteredyour

song in the Orange Race. I will be able to write your part into the book and at the end

you will get a reward.”

JOY VAA :” What kind of reward?”

CCCChristo : “ Look over there?”

JOY VAA : “ Where? All I see is Jeannie with her new boyfriend”

CCCChristo:” No, over there! You see that Orange Chargerwith Black and Gold Lightning

Bolts on the hood? Well, as part of the Orange Race, you will be able to pick out

something similar that I am sure your husband would be morethan thrilled to drive you

around in”

JOY VAA : “ Oh Hell no, that will be my baby!!!”

CCCChristo : “ Suit yourself Joy! But anyway, think about it ok. The Orange Race and

all the details will be coming shortly. For now I have to go. The Great Pumpkin Letters

has a lot of ground to cover. It was great meeting you here. Happy Halloween!”

And with that Chief Crazy Captain Christo was off on hisCountry Wide adventure.

Respectfully in TRUTH,

Author Christo Strom

Sole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels

Head of Angel Promotions

Payton Rae's Orange Sunburst Angels

2011-09-30T08:37:00.000-05:00

Payton Rae: Orange Sunburst Angels

In a dramatic twist of fate, Chief Crazy Captain Christodecided to

call of the search for Penelope Cruz and jetted over fromMiami Beach,

Florida to Houston Texas where he met up with the singer whosings

the song Not Your Cinderella.

In this chance meeting, Payton Rae

was in the middle of a Stop the Bullying Campaign when shenoticed

a blindingly bright Orange Light in the audience. She stopped her

speech in mid sentence and demanded to know who was shiningthe

Orange Light. We nowjoin in on the conversation between Payton Rae

and Chief Crazy Captain Christo.

P.Rae – “ Hey Old Dude. This is my world you just walked into. What

the heck is that Orange Light all about anyway?”

CCCChristo <( + )> - “ Sorry Payton but I need todiscuss something with

you. It’s about theOrange Race”

P.Rae- “ Hey Old Dude. I’m in the middle of a very important school

issue about bullying and I need you to get off my stage”

CCCChristo <( + )> “ Just hear me out Ms. Rae. I flewin all the way from

Florida, canceled my journey to find Penelope Cruz, just soI could come

up to you to give you this.”

Chief Crazy Captain Christo handed Payton Rae an OrangeSunburst Angel

globe that looked like a Great big Pumpkin that lit upeverytime Payton

Rae spoke.

P.Rae- “ You came all that way to give me a gift? What for?"

CCCChristo <( + )> “ Because I heard it was yourbirthday”

P.Rae- “ Hey Old Dude, that’s so sweet. What’s your name?”

CCCChristo –“ Chief Crazy Captain Christo “

P.Rae- “ Well, Chief Crazy Captain Christo, YESTERDAY was mybirthday.

SECURITY, SECURITY “

CCCChristo- “ Exit Stage Left”

and with that Chief Crazy Captain Christo decided to resumehis search for

the one and only Penelope Cruz.

Stay Tuned!

Author Christo Strom

Sole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels

Head of Angel Promotions

You walk in the room and all the girls talk

I guess you get used to most of them falling

down at your feet

'cause you got the charm

and the debonair down

so tall and dark

like you just came out

of some kind of fairytale dream

(ooh ooh) baby you're something

(ooh ooh)

but I'm not your Cinderella

You're not the one in a million fella

The slipper ain't gonna fit me

Give my regards to Mr. Disney

Oh I'm no sleeping beauty

One kiss alone won't do it to me

Hate to be the one to tell ya

oh but I'm not your Cinderella

I don't know if I believe in love at first sight

Think it might need just a little more time to grow and bereal

so keep up the laughter

and rambling on at the strike of midnight it's gonna be gone

cause this ain't a heart you can steal

(ooh ooh)

baby you're something

(ooh ooh)

But I'm not your Cinderella

You're not the one in a million fella

The slipper ain't gonna fit me

Give my regards to Mr. Disney

Oh I'm no sleeping beauty

One kiss alone won't do it to me

I hate to be the one to tell ya

oh but I'm not your Cinderella

baby you're something (ooh ooh)

I'm not your Cinderella

No, I'm not your Cinderella

You're not the one in a million fella

The slipper ain't gonna fit me

Give my regards to Mr. Disney

oh I'm no sleeping beauty

One kiss alone wont do it to me

Hate to be the one to tell ya

oh but I'm not your Cinderella

Miley Cyrus 2012: Orange Race Pumpkin Style

2011-09-29T11:28:00.000-05:00

Miley Cyrus 2012: Orange RacePumpkin Style

Chief Crazy Captain Christo was busysailing around the world in 2012 when his S-crew on his ship The Anada Knowwanted to dock in the S-port in Miami Florida. So without hesitation because heknew the S-crew really wanted to go to Disneyworld to see Miley Cyrus perform,the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo did what any logical CC Captain would do.He made a midnight run to Daytona Beach and rammed the beach. With his S-crewsafely on hard dry land, he hailed a rather large Hummer Limo to take theS-crew to Disneyworld for a little R and R. ( Author's note: R and R stands forRock and Roll)

Upon entering the awesome themepark, he noticed that Miley Cyrus was performing there all week. He told hisS-crew to be back on board the Anada Know in exactly Seven days. Every S-crewmember rolled their eyes and said " Aye Aye Aye Aye Aye Aye Aye " TheGood Chief Crazy Captain Christo got down on his knees in front of the S-crewand said a rather loud prayer for Randy Rhoads. He got back up and thanked theS-crew for remembering Randy but scolded them as well. You see when the GoodChief Crazy Captain Christo is on a mission, he does not like to look back onthe past for fear of the pains beating deep within his heart. As the S-crewsaid thank you for the week long fur low, Chief Crazy Captain Christo cleverlydisguised himself as Munko Christo ( aka The O-Range Meek and Wild MunkoChristo this time!!!)

He casually sauntered up to the stagewhere Miley Cyrus was performing some song about a party in the U.S.A. So MunkoChristo did the unthinkable. He gyrated his gravitational flow and soared justabove where Miley was singing. Her papa Billy Ray " Doc" Cyrus wasjust to the left of the stage. Munko Christo had to think fast. So therehovering above Miley's stage, was an O-Range Meek and Wild Munko Christo thatonly Miley and " Doc" could see.

Now for this conversation betweenMiley Cyrus and Munko Christo, Miley Cyrus has been given the name Miles Sevenand Munko Christo is going by the name of MAW TAZ WELL. We pick up theconversation as Miley is looking heavenly and Munko Christo is doing his bestto get her attention. Enjoy!

Miles Seven: " Hey look everyonea big ol bright orange blob of pumpkin goo is hovering over my head"

MAW TAZ WELL: " Ms. Miley, itis I, Chief Crazy Captain Christo. I have transformed myself into Munko Christoand keep singing while I talk to you Miley. Only you and your dad can see meright now. Hey what's up Doc?" Billy Ray Cyrus was speechless and Ibelieve his knees were buckling.

Miles Seven: " Are you crazy?!!That is the coolest get up I have ever seen. How do you do that?"

MAW TAZ WELL" Ancient Chineseer ahh Ancient Native American er ahh oh hell I learned it from The GreatPumpkin.

Miles Seven: " Wow really canyou teach me how to do it?"

MAW TAZ WELL: " Sure but youhave to do me one favor. Actually you have to do me seven favors one favor at atime."

Miles Seven: " Awesome man!!I'll do anything for you Chief Crazy Captain Christo!"

MAW TAZ WELL: " OK Miley, thefirst favor I am asking you to do me for is this. See if you can't assemble allyour lady friends you trust from the country to assemble sometime between June21st 2012 and September 21^st 2012 for the first ever running of the Orange Race. You are to tell noone of this vision you are having right now. Keep this a secret Miley. I amposting this vision you are having right now as I speak on the Internet, youknow the same Internet that Al Gore invented. I am giving no vision to Al Goreonly to you and your dad Billy Ray " Doc" Cyrus" Now if I seethat anyone has messed this up on the Internet I will go after Al Gore andbecome The Punisher!!!"

Miles Seven:" Wow talk about aninconvenient truth! Ok Chief Crazy Captain Christo I will try. Any particularreason you are calling it the Orange Race and what is the occasion?"

MAW TAZ WELL: " I am in theprocess of gathering influential people together to help build a TheatricalTree House for a young American Girl who has had a rough start in life and itwill only get rougher unless we can band together to make a total American Dreamcome true. The Orange Race is my homage

to the Great Pumpkin and also I willbe teaching National Debt Training along the way.

Can I count on your support?"

Miles Seven: " Can I sing alongthe Orange Race?"

MAW TAZ WELL: " You can singanywhere along mile seven. There is 14miles a day so

plan accordingly!"

Miles Seven : " Deal ChiefCrazy Captain Christo I'll get the word out"

MAW TAZ WELL: " THANK YOUMILEY!"

And with that Munko Christolevitated back down to the ground at Disneyworld and let his S-Crew have theirSeven Days of fun in Orlando. Meanwhile Chief Crazy Captain Christo decided todo a solo mission sail looking for Penelope Cruz. He had seven days to find herbut where to look? Ah the search continues. This has been another abbreviatedversion of The Great Pumpkin Letters. Stay tuned for all of 2012 and beyond.

Author Christo Strom
Sole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels
Head of Angel Promotions

Jerry Garcia: Return of Midnight Frankenstein

2011-09-02T09:12:00.000-05:00

Jerry Garcia : The Return of Midnight Frankenstein

In a rareinterview from beyond the grave, Jerry Garcia

meets up with Chief Crazy Captain Christo to discuss thebuilding

of an amusement park named

MIDNIGHT FRANKENSTEIN

here in it’s entirety is the secret interview. Enjoy

Jerry Garcia : YeaYea yea I remember it like it was yesterday man.

You were out in the audience at Irvine Meadows and I wassending

you these COSMIC cards of electric jolts of blind lightning.

CCCChristo: Yeah but there was this girl in front of me onthe lawn

who was catching all the cards, so I never got the messageof what

you were throwing down that night.

Jerry Garcia: Far outyou did see those cards I was throwing. Cool!

So what is this I hear you are planning an Orange Race in2012?

CCCChristo: Yeah, I am in the process of doing a thing withthe National

Debt which by the way is hovering around 14 Trillion.

Jerry Garcia: Oh yeahthat thing. What a monster!

CCCChristo: The reason I called you here Jerry was because I want to branch

out into the Amusement Park Industry to kick Disney’s assfrom here to

Timbuctu.

Jerry Garcia: Well then, you will have had to have been bornin a desert as Bob

Weir used to be so fond of singing.

CCCChristo: I was.

Jerry Garcia: OH ok you are the one ok yeah uh huh I get itnow. You are the one.

CCCChristo: Yep!

Jerry Garcia: OK then here is what you need to do. It seems to me you are going

about it a little too slowly.

CCCChristo: What do you mean?

Jerry Garcia: You got to go knock some heads around ,especially that Rob Zombie,

he’s an angry little ogre isn’t he? Now, I suppose instead of Dead Heads it would

be knock some Living Dead heads around.

CCCChristo: I don’t know,

Jerry Garcia: Insteadof putting out your lame videos on youtube, or contacting

an attorney for licensing, GET OUT THERE MAN!

CCCChristo: Are you saying what I think you are saying?

Jerry Garcia: Yeah GO KICK SOME ASS Mr. MidnightFrankenstein!!!

CCCChristo: COOL, thanks Jerry.

Jerry Garcia: Hey Chief I got to ask you. What does this have to do with the Great

Pumpkin? Pigpen, whois sitting right next to me wants to know.

CCCChristo: Tell Pigpen, all will be revealed once theAmusement Park is complete

and I finish up with your story about the Holy Ghost.

Jerry Garcia: Holy Ghost, far out man!

This has been another abbreviated version of The GreatPumpkin Letters

Respectfully in TRUTH,

Christo Strom

Sole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels

Head of Angel Promotions

Thank you to Jerry Garcia, Ron " Pigpen " McKernan and a special apprearance

including Brent Mydland. All members of a band <( +++ )>

MIDNIGHT FRANKENSTEIN +++ MIDNIGHT FRANKENSTEIN +++ MIDNIGHT FRANKENSTEIN

Ron " Pigpen " McKernan: A Barbecue Jam for Pigpen

2011-06-27T09:57:00.000-05:00

Ron “Pigpen” McKernan: A Barbecue Jam for Pigpen

This is an actual copy of a letter that was burned in a fire that was never started

It is from Chief Crazy Captain Christo to R.P.M ( to be read only at a night time barbecue).

For those of you who don't know ,without Pigpen , there would be no Grateful Dead.

Or it would have been a ship without a Captain.

When Chief Crazy Captain Christo meets back up with Pigpen

Hey R.P.M.,

I never got to tell you how much I loved your band.

Well, Pigpen I am writing this with tears in my eyes.

I might need Linus' blanket to cover my red eyes so you can't see.

Oh what the Hell, I don't care let the whole world know that my Tears are for Pig's in a Blanket.

Tell Loose Lucy that Cosmic Charlie is heading for the end zone and Schroeder is now delivering Milk for a living. Yep Milky Way as I like to tease him.

Seriously, Pig I have one request for the man upstairs cause I know You must be there. Tell him I know I have made my mistakes,

and my final request of a prayer would be this:

The only way I am going anywhere is to get this party started.

Meet me down in Omaha, Nebraska sometime in the future. You will recognize me by a strange and magnificent smoke. I will be surrounded by Twelve Webers, Eleven Chefs (Steven Raichlen, Gordon Ramsay etc… are you listening?) and I will be organizing my own Band. You should be able to see my One Man band with me playing a DIME(Electric Razorback Explosion) store guitar rockin on a Half Pipe skateboard ramp jammin out songs from the past as well as new unrehearsed tunes that have yet to be named.

Hope you can tell that I'm getting amped for the show down in O,NE. Respectfully in Truth, Chief Crazy Captain Christo P.S. When I do meet back up with you Pig, if you don't mind bringing three shots and shot glasses with you we'll recite the 23rd Psalm in the Valley of the Shadows. Then and only then can I say " Yup, Good Grief the Gangs All Here"

I don't know exactly when I will be there but tell ol FUMble Fingers that I could use a little of da Vine intermission. Thanks a lot. Oh and One last thing Pigpen before I go. What would you like for dessert? I'm working man on an animal cracker whipped cream ala mode with the name Pig's Delight. What do you think? Might as well cross that off my two DO lew list. Lightnin Smokestacks gonna be my name....2019, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13,...

This will be part of national debt training for 360,000 Women who pay $10,000.00 each. Do you

think I am just doing this for myself and Pig? Get a grip people +(~~+~~)+National Debt Training 2012 The Orange Race from Green Bay Wisconsin to Colorado Springs Colorado,

perhaps ending at the Broadmoor for some final barbecue tasting Hint Hint Steven Raichlen!

Respectfully in TRUTH,

Chief Crazy Captain Christo

AKA

Author Christo Strom

Sole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels

Head of Angel Promotions

Gavin George Law: One Four One Know

2010-12-04T10:34:00.001-06:00

Gavin Law: G. P. ONE FOUR ONE KNOW- An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

Chief Crazy Captain Christo takes time out to grieve for a child he has yet to meet. It is one of the saddest stories ever. Brace yourself and reach for the sky. Don't forget the tissues. This without a doubt is a call to my higher power. With all the strength of 2000 Daniels, Chief Crazy Captain Christo is barring the flood gates. This is Gavin Law's Official Great Pumpkin Letter for 2010. In order to understand Gavin Law, here is a short run down of his short time here in Minnesota. Gavin was born with a rare birth disorder that I can't pronounce but it is spelled mitochondriopathy( I hope it is spelled right:) Here it is explained in a nut shell. His little body could not grow. After nine months in pain, he passed away on January 4th 2010.

THIS VIDEO WAS MADE ONE YEAR TO THE DAY GAVIN GEORGE LAW LEFT THE LAW FAMILY
PLEASE KNOW THIS WAS MADE FOR HIS LOVING FAMILY. PEACE BE WITH YOU.

+(~~+~~)+ +(~~+~~)+ +(~~+~~)+

I first learned of Gavin Law after watching KTSP Channel Five's Bill Lunn and Leah McLean introduce Susanna Song. She told the story of Gavin Law and I just lost it. It broke the Heart of Chief Crazy Captain Christo but the Spirit will never be broken. Here in it's excruciatingly painful prayer request is Chief Crazy Captain Christo standing before The Great Pumpkin in the sky with his prayer request for Gavin Law. Chief Crazy Captain Christo is on his knees before The Great Pumpkin and he waits for The Great One to call him forward.

With a slight wink of his left eye, The Great One ( author's note: The Great One is The Great Pumpkin) motions for Chief Crazy Captain Christo to rise up and speak his mind. Without stopping to dry his eyes and with the tears a flowing, Chief Crazy Captain Christo rises and speaks ( for Gavin)

For this conversation , Chief Crazy Captain Christo is known as T-REX because whenever a sad story like this one hits him in the face, he needs tissues and he's like a two shipwrecks in the night. The Great Pumpkin is going to be known in this piece as G's LAW.

T-REX: " Oh Great One, I stand before you sober as a judge and with no boos or no tricks. Just a simple
request for one who never had a chance. I stand before you to ask you to make the life of Gavin Law a call to action for EVERYONE. He had such a short life and it pains me to say this but he never had a chance to experience what it feels like to GROW. I ask that you bring peace to his parents on Earth and to remind me everday of your Willingness to GROW. You of all beings should know that without GROWTH one cannot SEEK. How would you like it if no one could SEEK you? You would be nothing more than a Fabrication of Truth.

G's LAW: " Chief Crazy Captain Christo. Stop before you injure yourself. I have already thought of that. I have decided to take your words of wisdom and from now on in Pumpkin Ville, there will be a name change. I have taken Gavin George Law's name for the time being. You might want to take notes Chief Crazy Captain Christo. First off, the letter G shall be elevated over Seven times. You shall contact all the stars of the movie Nine. Every last one of them. You shall meet in Omaha Nebraska on July 9th 2010 to discuss the building of a Theatre Tree House. I noticed in your past Pumpkin Letters that you only were building for a little American Girl. Well , this is your American Boy. I know who the American Girl is and looks like you are doing a great job of keeping it quiet. The American Boy is with me now and he is safe. Tell Gavin's parents what I have told you. Wait I am not finished. From now on Pumpkin Ville shall be known as Pumpkin Vine. The SEVENTH LAW of Pumpkin Vine will be known as Gavin's Law or G'S LAW. Gavin George Law. I will hold you accountable Chief Crazy Captain Christo to keep holy the G's LAW. Thank you for remembering and as always Chief Crazy Captain Christo, don't let the Door hit you where the Good Lord split you. Hey here take this with you."

T-REX:" What is this?"

G's LAW: " It is called HOPE and FAITH. Take it with you and give it to Gavin's parents. Form a fantastic stadium and when you sing a song at a concert for GAVIN sometime after the stadium is built, please do not forget to invite Gavin's parents and the whole Channel Five ensemble to hear you sing Gavin's Song. Ok Chief ok then you can go. Now remember Chief BE GOOD!

T-REX: " Happy O-Range Limelight Ya-hulaversaille Bringing In Baby Law Everone"

G's LAW: " Thank you for remembering to leave the Limelight on for Gavin. Now go and make like the O-Range Blob of Light that you are. Ride like the Winding O-Range Red Lightning Divine

Intermission-: This has been an abbreviated version of The Great Pumpkin Letters in honor of:

Gavin George Law : April 3, 2009- January 4th 2010.

Apple Valley , Minnesota

Roger Waters: When Linus Hit The Wall

2010-11-14T11:25:00.000-06:00

Author Christo Strom
Sole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels
Head of Angel Promotions

Roger Waters: When Linus Hits The Wall

In a stunning move of unabashed bravado, Chief Crazy Captain Christo
screamed at Roger Waters to play the song MOTHER. for Linus Van Pelt
For the Great Pumpkin, for every child who still believes in the Great
Pumpkin. You can see Roger Water's response right here, and you will
notice that Roger Waters was paying attention and he heard
Chief Crazy Captain Christo. You can see him pointing right at Chief
Crazy Captain Christo at 00.07 in the video.
And to that I, Chief Crazy Captain Christo will be
forever Grateful to Roger Waters. One last thing Roger, if you ever pay
attention to these sort of things, Chief Crazy Captain Christo is asking you
to be one of the panels on a SIX PANEL RACE CARD ( Video Screens+++)
kind of like a Peanuts cartoon but with real famous musicians, including
another bass player by the name of Phil Lesh.
So Roger Waters what say you, will you be a part of the greatest communication
event in history, " How to Erase the National Debt" More details in 2011 so
please STAY TUNED.

Respectfully in TRUTH,

Chief Crazy Captain Christo
aka
Christo Strom
Sole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels
Head of Angel Promotions

P.S. When Linus Hits THE WALL is the best part of It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie
Brown, so the next videos please enjoy!

How to Erase the National Debt-Starting +++January 4th 2011-+++

2010-08-14T06:58:00.000-05:00

Great Pumpkin Letters hitting the Big Time
( Are you ready Rob Zombie?)

Author Christo Strom

Sole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels

Head of Angel Promotions

How to Erase the National Debt-Starting +++ January 4th, 2011

Christo Strom’s Orange Race Card Angels, the only company

on the Planet ( this is Planet Earth right?) to even attempt to

erase the national debt. In case you are wondering what national

debt I am talking about, it is the United States of America’s

National Debt. Hovering as I type in the Thirteen to Fourteen

Trillion dollar range. If it were a UFO, it would be seen by

everyone but the United States Government would spin it as

something completely different, like a Monty Python sketch.

Anyways, back to How to Erase the National Debt. My semnar

series ( not a misprint, semnar means the mn in the middle is

the starting point in Minnesota, and that means only in

Minnesota for the entire year of 2011+++! There is no turning

back once January 4th 2011 rolls around. My ass is going to be

on the line and it will get done. No I am not going to allow any

politicians at my semnar. This is for people in the United States

of America who are tired of all the B.S. that flows out of the mouths

of ALL Politicians. Wake up now, and follow a simple plan. I am

making this extremely easy. Those who attend and are ready for

REAL KICK ASS and LIGHTNING QUICK recoveries, by all means

possible pay attention. How many jobs do you think could be

created in the next three years by tackling the job of erasing the

National Debt? I am only asking for One percent of the American

population to become ORANGE RACE CARD ANGELS. We will

have a rockin great time in the next three years!

Respectfully in TRUTH,

Chief Crazy Captain Christo

P.S. Senator Colby Coash of Lincoln Nebraska and Rebecca Otto

State Auditor of Minnesota are the only exceptions. If they

choose to become ORANGE RACE CARD ANGELS, they will be

accepted on one condition. I RUN THE SHOW++++++

Dear Mr. Fantasy : An Excerpt from Christo Strom for Jerry Garcia

2010-08-13T08:21:00.000-05:00

Friday August 13th 2010

Author Christo Strom
Sole owner of Orange Race Card Angels
Head of Angel Promotions

From the desk of Chief Crazy Captain Christo

Dear Mr. Fantasy:
Play us a Tune
Something to Make Us All Happy....

We interrupt this Traffic tune from Steve Winwood
and his awesome band to bring you an Excerpt from
Chief Crazy Captain Christo ( Christo Strom )for
Jerry Garcia, to be read in a prayer form:

Deary Jerry, ( or Saint Jerome in Heaven!)
Might as Well is still my favorite song in
the whole Universe so let's just say like
the WORD OF GOD, this point is not negotiable.
It has been four days and fifteen years since you
left in California. I still love your music and
I am really wondering if you wouldn't mind gettin
together with the ANGELS and makin sure I follow
through with my plan to help the United States of
America with their National Debt problem. It's like
everyone in office doesn't give a shit if it gets
done or not as long as they look good. I know
for a fact you don't care how things look as long
as it gets done. Well Jerry I am praying through
the Holy Spirit that I can accomplish the erasing
of the National Debt so if I ever see you again
in Heaven or in Hell that we could sing Might as Well
together in some form or another. That's it Jerry!
Tell Brent that I still think of him too and your
kick ass renditions down in Long Beach California
I will never forget. All your girls are doing well!

We now return you to your regularly scheduled you
tube video and Dear Mr. Fantasy.....

" "

Warren Buffett: ReQwesting Omaha with Peter

2010-07-15T21:25:00.004-05:00

Author Christo Strom

Owner of Orange Race Card Angels

Sole in Charge of Angels Promotions

Warren Buffett: ReQwesting an Inner View of Omaha and film Great Pumpkin Letters

Dear Warren Buffett:

You know trying to get a hold of you through the Internet obviously doesn’t work.

I started writing the Great Pumpkin Letters last year as a tribute to my Godmother Mary.

It turned out to be a Holy Ghost story instead with a twist. I didn’t expect to be so moved

by one little boy named Gavin George Law. I also didn’t know that after I had written it,

I wrote one about Bert Blyleven. He was an outstanding pitcher for the Minnesota Twins

and in it he beans me in the nuts before the World Series game. He starts yelling at me then

I start ripping into him, and then I tell him that to be Great like the Pumpkin you have

to give of yourself and then others will give to you. Anyways, I was taking out my angry

thoughts toward God on Bert Blyleven. Because of Gavin George Law. Go ahead and

read it for yourself. And in so doing, I learned a way to heal myself. And you’ll never

guess what happened in the process. Take it for what it is worth but the Holy Ghost

is telling me to contact your son Peter Buffett to build a Thea Tree House for a little

American girl. Actually three of them with specific places that I can only tell your

son Peter. So Warren Buffett, could you please help me talk to your son?

Respectfully in Truth,

Chief Crazy Captain Christo

P.S. Just like in the Bible, I need Peter to be the Rock!!!

By the way, I noticed in the Omaha Convention magazine for May/June 2010

that Peter looks a lot like Neil Diamond. ( with your features!)

" "

The King and Di's Eleventh Step- Man Overboard!

2010-05-05T05:37:00.002-05:00

May 5th 2010
Author Christo Strom

Post reprinted by Author's permission ( that's me!)
First posted on Sooper Articles in January 2010

Lady Di: The King and Di's Eleventh Step- An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

Warning: This edition of The Great Pumpkin Letters deals with real DEATH! If the thought of a pleasant AFTER-LIFE scares you please go no further. Step aside Steven King, it's time for the sacrifice of O'NE ( Author: Christo Strom )

Chief Crazy Captain Christo was sailing on the high seas one day in 2010 when a sight he had never seen before caught his roving eyes. Out on the horizon, a beautiful blond princess was dancing with a King. It was like they were dancing with the stars on top of the ocean. But they were not on a ship or a boat or any kind of sea faring vessel. No they were dancing on thin air. It was a most enjoyable vision to see two individuals dancing so wrecklessly and yet so happy! Her face was all aglow and her steps were pure and light. The funny thing was it was pitch black outside and the moon was no where to be found. Yet the light kept getting brighter and brighter! And it was beckoning the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo to come forward. On closer inspection he realized it was Lady Diana. She smiled her radiant smile and in the clarity of the moment whispered for the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo to take eleven steps off the bow to reach her.

Now for the conversation between Chief Crazy Captain Christo and Lady Di. For this part, Lady Di is going by the name of La dd ( author's note: it is a silent L so it is pronounced a dd meaning after Diana's death). Chief Crazy Captain Christo is going by the name of BOW ( Blessed Orange Wood)

We pick the conversation up before Chief Crazy Captain Christo takes the first step off the bow of his ship.

La dd: “ Ahoy Chief Crazy Captain Christo it is I, Lady Diana from England. Won't you come join me for a midnight dance beneath the heavens?”

BOW: “ Wow, Lady Di. You look absolutely ravishing in your O-Range Maroon Gown that really isn't a gown is it? Who does your airbrushing?” Chief Crazy Captain Christo knew right away that Lady Diana, the would be Queen of England was without a stitch of clothing. So he cut away at one of his sails and gave her an Orange and Black Sailors skirt and left her topless.

La dd: “ If you are going to dress me, take me to Richard Branson's island at once. I demand to see him because I have a few choice words to get off my chest.”

BOW: “ Any particular reason you have to see Richard?”

La dd: “ Yes as a matter of fact there is. There's a man up here named Heath Ledger and he won't get off my Brokeback Mountain.”

BOW:” Really, you can see Heath Ledger? Would you mind telling Heath that I have a little girl down here that would really like it if he could help organize a get together to build a Theatre Tree House. By orders of The Great Pumpkin I have to organize it or else”

La dd:” Or else what?”

BOW:” Or else he is going to make me walk the plank in front of the bank to get run over by an army tank filled with explosives. Why else would I be so frantic about building this tree house. The Great One as I like to call him doesn't demand much more than everything you got. Since I can see you and you can see Heath, I figure if we put our heads together we can come up with something cool. What say you Lady Di? Will you help out a Captain in need?:

La dd:” Where and when do you want us to show up Chief Crazy Captain Christo?”

BOW:” Between the dates of July 9^th 2010 and Eternity just to be on the safe side”

La dd:” Forget Richard Branson's island. We've got work to do. Heath darling let's get your ledger on board and go to Nebraska.”

Tears started to flow off of the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo's face and landed in the salty sea. The King he had noticed dancing with Lady Di was Heath Ledger! It was then that Chief Crazy Captain Christo had noticed he had walked off the stern side of the ship and on his Eleventh step plunged face first into the frigid icy water. The King Ledger threw him a life preserver and let out a cackle and responded with a shout of “ Damn Yankee Rookie!” This has been another abbreviated edition of The Great Pumpkin Letters. Stay tuned America. Hollywood you are seriously lacking any creativity. Grant Heslov, and Kevin Costner and Clint Eastwood yall are pale faces in comparison to Chief Crazy Captain Christo. Yo Ho Yo Ho Yo Ho Outta my whey cause someone is going to get hurt and it aint Chief Crazy Captain Christo you boneheads of Cinematic Rubbish! I dare everyone of you Hollywood Directors to show up in Omaha on July 9^th 2010 to face the fire. Guaranna, get your guns! It's SHOWTIME!!!!!!!!!! Warning this is not a drill! Time to PAY the PIE Purr! If your Pen does not write a check on the piece of paper marked with an O-Range X- let's just say this is ELIMINATION TIME!!!!!!! Respectfully in TRUTH ( CCCC You Later Boyzzzz!)

Sheri Moon Zombie- S.O.S. for $ 630 Million

2010-05-02T05:22:00.004-05:00

May 2nd 2010
Author Christo Strom

SHERI MOON ZOMBIE- S.O.S. for $630 Million

Author's Note: ( The S.O.S. in the title is kind of like a
double edged sword with four different meanings. But
the author will give you the real meaning first and the
last three you'll have to make them up for your self!)

S.O.S. ( an obvious cry for help from a "Crazy" )
S.O.S.- in this post means " Strom's Onto Something!"

Now I have submitted this post before on Sooper Articles
and it is one of 44 Great Pumpkin Excerpts but before I
add this post, I would like to pre-face the post with a bit
of insane money fundraising for one ROB ZOMBIE.

Since he is more than likely too busy on his current touring
schedule to react to my posts, I thought I would try something
a little different. I'll go straight to his boss, Sheri Moon Zombie!

So Sheri, here's the deal! I am going to start in Minnesota
to erase the National Debt which is at $12 Trillion Dollars.
I think that raising $ 630 Million Dollars for your husband
Rob to make Seven Films should be a drop in the bucket.

It's going to take a massive exchange of ideas on my part
to get this thing rolling but I am prepared to do the work.
I just thought you would want to know I am on your guy's
side and I will help you all out any way that I can. If
that's ok with you and Rob Sheri! After all , you and Rob
are my favorite Zombie's!!!

Take Care Mrs. Zombie! Here's the reprint of your
Great Pumpkin Letter

Sheri Moon Zombie: Mayhem and The Great One- An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

Chief Crazy Captain Christo was going out of his mind one particular day in January 2010. You see, the Good Chief had just found out that the Mayhem tour was going to be starting in California on July 10^th. And his mind was reeling really fast. All the thoughts of pulling off the GREATEST SPEECH ever spoken were quickly being dashed against the ROCKS of TIME! To bring you up to speed, the Mayhem tour is a big ol Metal fest starring Rob Zombie, Korn, Lamb of God, Five Finger Death Punch, In This Moment and a slew of other hard rockin, fist pumpin, take no prisoners types that create for better or worse, MAYHEM. Anyway, since their wheels are in gear for their shows, no need to bother them for assistance. They have their own gigs going and that is fine. Except for one thing. Rob Zombie, can you send your wife? On July 9^th, 2010, the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo, come hell or high water, is going down to Omaha Nebraska and set up for an impressive speech. So for this particular abbreviated Great Pumpkin Letter, the Good Chief is transforming himself to L.A. To meet with none other than Rob Zombie's wife, Sheri Moon Zombie.

For this conversation, Sheri Moon Zombie is filming Rob in an upcoming video. She is taking a short break when Chief Crazy Captain Christo, in a stunning move of unabashed bravado, scoops her up and is talking to her on the fly. He is disguised as the O-Range Blob of Lightning with a dash of Guacamole Sauce. Sheri is going by the name of SHERI-ZO. Chief Crazy Captain Christo is going by the name of ORBLA-GUACAM. Since Chief Crazy Captain Christo is in charge here, the conversation takes place up in the air. Enjoy!!!

SHERI-ZO-” Hey you! Put me down this instant or I will have Rob take care of you in one of his upcoming videos. You will be Zombie stomped into oblivion.”

ORBLA-GUACAM-” Hey relax Sheri, it is I, Chief Crazy Captain Christo. I just wanted to introduce myself to you in a well I'm not exactly sure what I am doing here but oh yeah. I wanted to help your husband Rob with a little fund raising for a SEVEN MOVIE DEAL. It would have been real easy to do on July 9^th 2010 until I learned that your husband had inked a deal to do the Mayhem tour. That is ok since I believe that has got to be a great way to make a living.”

SHERI-ZO:” How can you carry me and fly at the same time? And why should we trust you?”

ORBLA-GUACAM-” Fair enough questions. I'll answer the second one first. The reason you should TRUST me is this. I have learned a great deal by writing down some observations. My first observation is this. America needs to turn the ship around because it is sinking! By writing about what is wrong, without preaching doom and gloom, I believe a few positive words to the right influential people, can be a great place to start. I am trying to get a Theatrical Tree house built for a little American girl. Since Rob is probably in tune to a theatrical kind of show, I thought that once this tree house gets built, the SEVEN MOVIE DEALwould be a piece of cake to set up.

SHERI-ZO: “ Again Chief Crazy Captain Christo! Why should we TRUST you?!!”

ORBLA-GUACAM:” OK Sheri here it is! Ready or not. I have thought up this stadium design that is based on super cooperation between musicians, professional athletes, doctors, internet marketers, restaurant owners and dancers. The design will be unveiled sometime soon when all the pieces fall into place. I could use some of Rob's unique insights to go along with the planning stages. Of course, it will be based on a Halloween stage theme and a Happy Go Lucky harvest agenda. No sad sacks allowed if you know what I mean. It is all about overcoming adversity and shining in a most outrageous display of FUN! No one stage will be present for longer than thirteen weeks so it will always be changing to suit the needs of the performers. Comprende?”

SHERI-ZO:” Ok Chief Crazy Captain Christo I can relate to that. Now answer the first question. How can you carry me and fly at the same time?”

ORBLA-GUACAM:” Great Pumpkin rule #Seven- Listen to RUSH's Fly By Night before attempting any type of Zombie pick up line!”

SHERI-ZO: “ Oh Rob will love that one! Thanks Chief Crazy Captain Christo. I'll try to persuade Rob for you.”

ORBLA-GUACAM:” Thanks Sheri. And tell Rob that Chief Crazy Captain Christo would be forever grateful to plan the Tree House with some of Rob's ideas. Let's get this done!”

SHERI-ZO:” Wow! That was a cool flight! Hey there's Rob now...”

And with that Chief Crazy Captain Christo flew back to resume his sail around the world. Penelope Cruz where are you? This has been another edition of The Great Pumpkin Letters. Stay tuned for more to come in 2010 and beyond!

P.S. ( that's Pumpkin Scrypt!) Perhaps we will meet and discuss this in person
in 2011. I will be mainly in MN but like I said in the Great Pumpkin Letters,
I hang out in Minnesota, Nebraska and Colorado. You see you gotta believe
in foolish miracles ( I got that one from a regular " John" !)

Respectfully in TRUTH

Chief Crazy Captain Christo

In Search of--ORANGE RACE CARD ANGELS

2010-05-01T07:28:00.003-05:00

May 1st 2010
Author Christo Strom

In Search of ORANGE RACE CARD ANGELS

Greetings everybody!

Christo Strom here with exciting news for everyone
who wants to become an

ORANGE RACE CARD ANGEL

Yes, there are actual steps to become one.
It aint easy so here is the steps to take.

You can sign up for details at

http://www.orangeracecardangels.com

On or about June 2010

Step by step instructions
to become an

ORANGE RACE CARD ANGEL

will be explained in emails once you sign up
It is that simple.
But like I said before it aint easy.

You see, to become an

ORANGE RACE CARD ANGEL

you have to believe there is a simple way
to erase the national debt together!

I'll stop right there because I know some of you
already said F*** That!

Well if you are one of those , you are already

DISQUALIFIED.

For those of you who want to find out more
sign up June 2010 to January 12th 2011

What? ( Rob Zombie's song thumpin in the background)

After January 12th 2011, you will have to wait till 2012
to sign up. Sorry but those are the rules and you need
to know there will be rules.

Respectfully in TRUTH

Chief Crazy Captain Christo

P.S. ( that's Pumpkin Script) The Great Pumpkin will
be so proud!

Snoopy Part 7 of 7: Joe " Cool " Mauer

2010-04-19T05:10:00.003-05:00

April 19th 2010
Author Christo Strom
Special Post Alert Special Post Alert Special Post Alert

" Have I died and gone to heaven?
Today Joe "Cool" turns Twenty Seven
So on this day I thought I'd try
A little trick with Pumpkin Pie

So here we go for " Smokeless Joe"
A Twin Cities Favorite Hometown, yeah know
I now give you the Ultimate Pumpkin Letter
Great doesn't even describe this one
Because he keeps getting better and better

Snoopy Part 7 of 7 : Joe "Cool" Mauer
Enter Chief Crazy Captain Christo to start off
The Festivities>

For this , the longest version of the Great Pumpkin Letters,
Chief Crazy Captain Christo is going to throw in a curveball.
He will be shown here as Spike In Nine ( kind of like Frankenstein
but more of a Dogtown feel if you know what I mean!) Spike in
Nine will be shortened down to S.I.N.

Joe " Cool " Mauer, in a spectacular and thrilling change of pace,
will not be shown as Baby Jesus. But will be shown as J.C.

So without further ado or delays of game, I give you the Ultimate
version of The Great Pumpkin Letters in its entirety.
Author's note( this version might take all season long or perhaps
as long as Joe Mauer stays in the Game. Author has no control
over Joe's Career but wishes to offer this advice. STAY HEALTHY!)

S.I.N. " Happy Birthday Joe " Cool " Mauer. You know in dog years
you'd be like buried under the pitchers mound. Your twenty seven years
times seven you'd be like one hundred and eighty nine years"

J.C. -" Gee thanks a lot Chief Crazy Captain Christo. You sure know how
to make a guy feel old. How old are you in dog years, like a thousand?"

S.I.N. " More like two thousand Joe. You see I have been around the
block quite a few times. You could say I'm a Block Head."

J.C.-" So I'm just curious. Why are you writing The Great Pumpkin Letters
and what is with the J.C. and the S.I.N. in this Great Pumpkin Letter. It's
my birthday for heaven's sake"

S.I.N. - " Exactly Joe and I will wish you a happy birthday at the end. Now to
explain a little bit of why you are Snoopy Part 7 of 7. Well there are Seven versions
of who Snoopy is in The Great Pumpkin Letters. You see Joe, I chose you because
you represent the ultimate Snoopy. Number seven obviously that is your number.
You guard Home plate from trespassers ( the visiting team) Home plate reminds me
of Snoopy's doghouse and now that you and the Minnesota Twins are playing outdoors,
it is just a perfect fit. Plus you are a hometown hero. Also the bat you swing is made of
wood and I mean if the woods could talk there'd be the little birdy woodstock. You know
Joe " Cool " Mauer I think .....

J.C. " Sorry for interrupting Chief Crazy Captain Christo, but my family is arriving for the
big celebration. It was nice talking to you. Say how come you didn't say anything about my new salary?

S.I.N. - " Let's just say I have the utmost respect for what you do and who you are. Besides which I just started a new company called Orange Race Card Angels. My only job left on Earth is to see that I gather the right people together to eliminate the National Debt once and for all. Happy Birthday Joe " Cool " Mauer. With all my heart, I wish you many more!

Respectfully in Truth

Chief Crazy Captain Christo

P.S. Every two months I will come back and edit this piece below the P.S ( that's Pumpkin Script) Now who wants Pumpkin Pie for dessert. I do I do! With lots of whipped cream and
a side of Circle Me Sure Bet!!!!

Orange Race Card Angels: Metal Wood Fire

2010-04-17T09:10:00.003-05:00

Orange Race Card Angels: Metal Wood Fire
Author Christo Strom

April 17th 2010

In a Great Pumpkin Letter first, the format for today's Great Pumpkin Letter
is going to be to promote the Grand Opening of an offline business

Starting on January 4th 2011,

ORANGE RACE CARD ANGELS

is going to be a major player in the TWIN CITIES MINNESOTA.

Metal Wood Fire is one of the twelve slogans that will be in place
by 1/4/11. Much explanations will be forthcoming in the next eight to
nine months so please Subscribe to my video channels to stay abreast
of all the happenings coming your way.

Respectfully in TRUTH

Chief Crazy Captain Christo

P.S. ( that's Pumpkin Script:) Stay Tuned Everyone, the National Debt
Clock is still ticking. Do you hear what it is saying to you?

Death ,Taxes and Frank Kern

2010-04-15T20:44:00.003-05:00

April 15th 2010
Author Christo Strom

We interrupt the Alice Cooper Great Pumpkin Letter series until at least August 1st 2010
on the account that Chief Crazy Captain Christo is going into turbo mode. That literally
means that he is turbo charging his online presence to include videos and an offline business.
The offline business which is run in Minnesota has a grand opening of January 4th 2011
The name of it is ORANGE RACE CARD ANGELS and it will be one of four hugely successful
startups that will be the envy of the world. What? ( Rob Zombie's song thumpin in the background
at Chief Crazy Captain Christo's many hideaways!) Don't believe me yet. Too Bad cause what other business do you know that is going to successfully eliminate the National Debt? Yeah that's right,
there isn't any.
So here it is the FRANK KERN DEATH TAXES GREAT PUMPKIN LETTER

Death Taxes and Frank Kern: Witch do you Prefer

Chief Crazy Captain Christo tackles the problem of Internet Marketers lack of

RESPECT. It came across the Mid-West area called the Midwest one particular sunny summer

day. Little did Frank Kern know but Chief Crazy Captain Christo does not take rejection very well. In fact, rejection is not in his vocabulary unless of course he is playing a GAME of basketball against Michael Jordan. You be the judge who would be rejected!

Back to the story, here goes the commentary floating on the Internet's Super slow mo- dial up.

It came back rejected. Try Again. Connect with SOL ( Slick Orange Lines) known to musicians as Slinky Online Licks or Guitar Strings for the functionally illiterate. Any who, Chief Crazy Captain Christo got a rejection letter from none other than Frank Kern's secretary. Wow! What a tremendous feeling! Like a barbed wire whipping post at Golgotha if you know what I mean. After meticulously trying to set Frank up and over deliver, the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo thought to himself,

“ You know, maybe Frank didn't quite get the gist of it. He probably thought I was trying to bring Mass Control to it's knees but quite the opposite really!”

Oh well! Not a problem, unlike Al Gore and Tony Robbins, I actually like Frank so here goes the message on MASS “I HAVE” CONTROL (author's note: to be read massive control!) . We interrupt the alleged conversation as it actually will take place in the year 2010 plus two.

C.C.C.Christo-” Hey Frank whazzzz up? Glad to see you escaped from Al Gore and Tony Robbins. What a couple of hack and wheezer geezers ey?”

F. RAKER ( Frank Kern's nickname for Raking in the Bucks) -” Yeah man, thanks for the heads up. I didn't realize how much Tony's clients were swearing till it all came to a head one day.”

C.C.C.Christo-” By the way Frank, I really appreciate the fact that you took the time out to mail me the rejection postcard. It showed you cared enough to acknowledge a pre-customer. As you know, I don't take rejection lightly. I learned that from Gwen Stefani from No Doubt. I got her to start her own film company called PenGwen Island. We deal only with air brush artists and models who aren't afraid to push the envelope if you know what I mean. Great musician that Gwen!

F.RAKER- “ How the hell did you get Gwen to do it?”

C.C.C.Christo-” Are you kidding me? I told her about it and she instantly was gyrating dollar signs. Her husband actually thanked me and said , “What would you like on your Tombstone?” I told him, Keep it simply stupid, mayaz!” Have you ever seen a rock star spray milk out of his nose?”

F.RAKER-” Wow I gotta right that one down! That's flippin awesome. Hey I gotta go Chief, you know an Internet Marketer gets no respect”

C.C.C.Christo- “ Hey Frank , I'd like to tell you a story about jumping ahead and avoiding the agony of defeat. I'm going to use some Native American imagery so bear with me hear. I'll type slowly because some of your readers may be a little slow to catch on. Ready Frank, this one story is about Bean's Jump. Long time ago when engineers were men and did not stare at goats, a young man decided to be the leader of men who were building a ski jump. The ski jump was a mighty ski jump. One that you had to take an elevator to the top. When you got off the elevator you had to climb some stairs to reach the tip top. When you arrived at the final destination, you could Ventura Highway a 360 degree panoramic view of Michigan and Canada. Now I don't know about you but as a kid I remember watching ABC Wild World of Sports and the announcer Jim McKay would say those immortal words, ...” and the agony of defeat” picturing the skier falling off the ski jump. Remember Frank?

At the bottom of the ski jump in Michigan is a plaque that names who built the jump. That is my grandfather and his nickname was 'BEAN' Thanks Frank for reminding me to have fun!

Go make a video Frank and let me know you understand that the respect you cherish is within yours and everyone's reach without the agony of defeat. Unless you are friends with Tellman Knudson, then I guess the agony of the feet is acceptable. “

This has been another installment of The Great Pumpkin Letters. Stay Tuned! Pumpkin Island Studios ( not a Redneck, but Orange and Green!)

Alice Cooper 2010 : Midnight Frankenstein ( Part 2 of 6)

2010-04-05T05:05:00.003-05:00

April Fifth 2010 Happy Birthday JC
Author Christo Strom

Alice Cooper 2010: Midnight Frankenstein ( Part 2 of 6)

In a miraculous comeback from the jaws of Death, Chief
Crazy Captain Christo is throwing in a curveball. You see
the title of this post is the most important title Alice Cooper
and Rob Zombie will ever see in their lifetime. I will explain
it like this. I put this post in so I can come back and finish it
at a later date. It has very significant ramifications for timing.
I made a promise to a five year old boy around nine years ago and I
intend to keep my promise. Remember this NINE!

Respectfully in TRUTH,

Chief Crazy Captain Christo

P.S. ( that's Pumpkin Script!) I will be going back to
Alice in Blunderland to finish parts 2-6. I am just using a
ploy called FORE SHADOWING ( not a golfers term but it could be!)

Alice Cooper 2010: Alice In Blunderland Part 1 of 6

2010-04-04T08:10:00.004-05:00

April Fourth 2010 Happy Easter Alice Cooper!

Alice Cooper 2010 : Alice in Blunderland ( Part 1 of 6)

Author Christo Strom

Alice Cooper: Blunderland

Chief Crazy Captain Christo had a choice to make. The year was 2010 and by all accounts

his world was crashing in all around him. Penelope Cruz was no where to be found. After

searching the world over, Chief Crazy Captain Christo was about to throw in the towel when

all of a sudden a lightning bolt of TRUTH eased its way into his mind. But of course. It is

pure genius. The key to pulling off the Greatest Feat of all time. What is the key you ask.

Pull up a chair and I will tell you. The key to pulling this off is this, are you sitting down? Ready:

ALICE COOPER ALICE COOPER ALICE COOPER

Super Duper We got Cooper! I can see the headlines now. Chief Crazy Captain Christo, along

with Rob Zombie and Alice Cooper. Together they will not only find Penelope Cruz, but amazingly

enough Rob Zombie will someday rule the Oscars and the Cannes Film Festival when this seven

picture deal is inked, filmed and in the Cannes as they say in the Biz. First things first. Must find

Alice Cooper.

So without wasting a lightning second, Chief Crazy Captain Christo floats up river to the Great White North of Canada. He is half expecting to be greeted with open arms and a hearty guffaw, but

is rebuked when he accidentally pisses off a security guard.

“ Get the F*&% Off Alice Cooper's stage,” the muscle bound no neck bellowed. But Chief Crazy Captain Christo would have none of that kind of talk.

“ Back off EGOR or I'll turn you into a talking toadstool. Yeah shit for brains, I'm talking to you!

Get outta my way. I need to talk to your boss.”

The grip of EGOR's hand around Chief Crazy Captain Christo's neck was the equivalent of having a 2000 lb vice grip squeezing the life out of you. Painfully slow and fade to black. When he came to about thirty minutes later, he was backstage at the Alice Cooper Camp and a mysterious man with a stethoscope was listening to Chief Crazy Captain Christo's heart.

“ Yep, he's got one!” said the mysterious man with the stethoscope. “ Chief Crazy Captain Christo's got a heart!” That voice, that voice he had heard a billion times before. The mysterious man was none other than Alice Cooper! Hooray, I wanna be elected! But before Chief Crazy Captain Christo could get a word out about his plans to build a Thea Tree House down in Omaha Nebraska, Alice Cooper quickly retorted,

“ Names Chief Crazy Captain Christo names. In all of your other Great Pumpkin Letters, you give everyone names. Like Rob Zombie you gave the name of AZ-MA. If you are going to set me up with a name do it like in your other Great Pumpkin Letters or I walk!”

The narrator steps in. Very Well. For the rest of this Great Pumpkin Letter, Alice Cooper will go by the name of Per CE ( prononced Per Say in Canada and Per Key in USA and Per Si in South America)

Chief Crazy Captain Christo will be going by the name of Key Per. Is that better Alice?

Per CE: “ I bet you are wondering why I had my guard EGOR put a sleeper hold on you. We knew you were coming up to Canada and we have a surprise for you Chief Crazy Captain Christo. But before Rob and I tell you what the surprise is, I just want to point some thing out to you. You did a Great Pumpkin Letter about Bert Blyleven and well I just want to point something out to you. You stated and I quote “ that Canton Ohio can take a back seat.” You had the greatest speech on a baseball field ever and you ruined it by flubbing the line. Where is the Baseball Hall of Fame Chief Crazy Captain Christo?”

Key Per: “ Hey before I answer that one can I ask you one question Alice? What movie was released with Robert Downey Jr. about that detective from England I think”

Per CE: “ That movie would be SHERLOCK HOLMES”

Key Per: “ All right then, to answer your question Alice about me flubbing the line , my answer to you Alice Cooper is this , NO SHIT SHERLOCK. I know I flubbed the line but it was my first draft. Kind of like the first Draft beer you might have drank a long time ago when you knew that continuation on this kind of path would leave to a life of ruin. Am I correct Sherlock Cooper?

Per CE( with a slight tear forming on his right eye) “ OK , you got me Chief , I'm Listening.”

Key Per: “ Yeah I know where the Baseball Hall of Fame is and the point I am trying to make is this.

How the Hell can I try to get through to anyone with so many damn gate keepers blocking true brilliance from getting through?”

This has been another abbreviated edition of The Great Pumpkin Letters. Part One of Six to be lengthened out to Part three of Eighteen. After all, it will be Eighteen and I like it. Stay Tuned!

Big Government and The Easter Egg

2010-04-03T11:10:00.003-05:00

Saturday April Third ( Easter Eve )
Author Chief Crazy Captain Christo

Sent in Place of The Great Pumpkin
Enjoy!

In a stunning and incredible turn of events
Chief Crazy Captain Christo has decided
to take on
Big Government and The National Debt.

You see, the Statue of Liberty is Speechless.
So Chief Crazy Captain Christo is giving her

A VOICE with a CHOICE

Here in it's painfully funny Glory B to the Highest
is the Conversation recorded between
Chief Crazy Captain Christo and Lady Liberty (S^O^L)

Conversation between Chief Crazy Captain Christo and The Statue of Liberty

CCCChristo: "So I says to the Landlady , I will go and ask Pigpen from Days gone by, you know Pigpen from Grateful Dead days gone by,
and Pigpen from Charles Schultz Days gone by, and I will slay this DRAGON with PURE CUNNING HONEY"

S^O^L( Statue of Liberty): "But who are you again? Everyone knows me Chief Crazy Captain Christo. I am a gift from The French!"

CCCChristo:" Ahh yes, a gift from the FRENCH! A WENCH from the FRENCH. Hey you know what Lady Liberty, I love French's Mustard"

S^O^L ( rolling her eyes) " Oh not another Mustard Joke!"

CCCChristo : " Why can't you stand another Mustard Joke? Anyways, as I was saying, the reason I love French's Mustard is the color it represents.
You see I believe it represents the color of every Politician whoever has been elected to office, from the President of the United States to everyone below him.
From Supreme Court Justices, to House of Representatives to the Senate and Blah Blah Bloated Overpaid Windbags who claim to
" Represent the People"

S^O^L: " So You are saying Big Government and everyone involved are Chickens?"

CCCChristo: " B-I-N-G-O , we have a winner from The Ellis Island the Lady holding the Torch. In case you want to know why, I am posting this on EASTER EVE.
The reason as such My Lady is this . WARS AND The National DEBT. Oh by the way, you can catch my SPEECHES coming after July 9th 2010.
I will explain in PLAIN ENGLISH how to SLAY the NATIONAL DEBT using a FAMILY of AMERICAN VOLUNTEERS.

S^O^L: " How do you think you are going to accomplish this feat since no one has ever attempted this rather daunting task"

CCCChristo: " One Speech at a time, Five minutes or Less on YOUTUBE, Starting MAY First. Till then Keep the Light on My Lady"

S^O^L: " Can you give me two reasons I should listen to you Chief Crazy Captain Christo? "

CCCChristo:" I'll give you two reasons yeah sure here they are. You know that thing called LIFE and DEATH? You know the debate has been
going on for centuries about Life after Death. Well here's something to think about. You people on Earth haven't even figured out the answer
to WHAT CAME FIRST : The CHICKEN or The EGG. If you can't even come up with the answer to that question, what on Earth
are you doing trying to figure out Life after Death questions?"

Stay TUNED AMERICA and President Obama and Former Presidents still living.
As Jimi Hendrix would say , " I'm coming to GETCHA!:)

Respectfully in TRUTH,

Chief Crazy Captain Christo

P.S. ( that's Pumpkin Script!) Now who wants some Pumpkin Pie?

Tom Barnard: Que Q with Chief Crazy Captain Christo

2010-03-29T04:44:00.005-05:00

March 29th 2010
Author Christo Strom

Originally found on SOOPER ARTICLE site
Reprinted with Author's permission (that's Me!)

Enjoy! Please leave a comment and if you want
write down how long you think I should let
Tom Barnard have his animation piece filmed
for in an upcoming Rob Zombie movie. That is,
if I can get Rob Zombie to agree! Sorry Tom:(
__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__

Tom Barnard: Que Q- An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

Chief Crazy Captain Christo has a plan to S-talk the radio airwaves. I know that may sound

a little corny but listen and learn. It is simply a-mai-zing. Understanding Tom Bernard and the crew at KQRS, a small brew haha has been brewing in the Twin Cities known as Wyatt Bayer Lock and Key.

You see without even stepping into the studios at the GOAL DEN Valley station, Chief Crazy Captain Christo is going to play hard ballast with the crew. Here goes the conversation between Chief Crazy Captain Christo and Tom Barnard. In this Thee A Trick Al piece, Tom's name has been changed to Saint Bernard but it will be shortened further to SABER. Chief Crazy Captain Christo, in a stunning move to keep his detractors off guard, will not be the O-Range Blob of Light. No, in this abbreviated version of the Great Pumpkin Letters, the Chief will go by the name of ESSAY.

SABER: “ Hey it's coming up on twenty five minutes to nine. We'll be back shortly after this message from SNUGGIES. “

At that very instant, the radio host was changed into a Saint Bernard, although the radio listeners had no clue. Enter ESSAY.

ESSAY-( O-Range Light brightly shining)-” Que Q?”

SABER-” Hey who is shining this bright light in my eyes. I am blind and cannot see.”

ESSAY-” It is I, Chief Crazy Captain Christo. Que Q?”

SABER- “ Who are you and what do you want? Can't you see we are on the air? And why do you only say KQ?”

ESSAY-” That is only what you hear. Pay attention Mr. SABER. You have a sharp wit like a SABER tooth Tiger and I turned you into a Saint Bernard!”

SABER- “ Well turn me back into the radio host that I am so I can finish the morning show”

ESSAY-” Que Q?”

SABER-” Yeah KQ! Bark Bark Bark”

ESSAY-” Do you feel that Keg of whiskey around your neck SABER. Do not open till December 21^st 2012. It is a special Keg that is not Whiskey but a special sauce that will not be ready till then. Now about my Que Q. Que is Spanish for What. Q is the name of some whack job calling himself the CASH GIFTING expert online. If you would be so kind to interview Q on your call in show that would be great. He doesn't like to show his face either but I think you two would have a great debate on the reason so many people fail in their attempt to create true and lasting wealth.”

SABER-” OK done deal now change me back. This pain around my neck is killing me and I can't breathe.”

ESSAY, loosening the Keg around SABER's neck, “ Here you go. I'll take that with me till December 21^st 2012. I will return it to you except this time it will be wrapped in Paradise Paper and Sealed with

something I'd rather not discuss. Now remember SABER, Que Q? Ask at least ten thought provoking questions of this personality who calls himself Q. For all I know he may be the real deal. I just thought you would be the perfect interviewer. Besides which, I love listening to your show. Keep up the great work Senior SABER. ( Old DAWG expression!).

SABER( laughing hysterically) “ OK Chief Crazy Captain Christo. But one question for you? Isn't Charles Schultz from Saint Paul and won't his people be pissed that your using his Great Pumpkin

Charlie Brown story into.....”

ESSAY-” What? ( ROB ZOMBIE's song in the background thumpin at ESSAY's House) No Saber I am not worried about that. You see, I have a long history of taking something that was originally great and with a few tricks and treats, turning it into a masterpiece beyond belief. You will see. What you didn't see coming here was that this piece's title is really SNOOPY Part Two of Seven. I just cleverly disguised it so as to throw the censors off track. It's called covering your tracks in the dark and snow.”

SABER- “ Is that Rob Zombie I hear playing in the background. I can't stand any of his moo...”

With that Being said, Tom Barnard was back on the air. Stay tuned for more excerpts from The Great Pumpkin Letters. KQRS ( Revelation Station!)

Ron “Pigpen” McKernan: Pigpen's Pig's Kins

2010-03-21T08:32:00.003-05:00

March 21st 2010
Barbecue Season - Let's Get Smokey! On the Grill! Marks, sets Go(::)
Author Christo Strom

Dedicated to my bro David and his family!

Ron “Pigpen” McKernan: Pigpen's Pig's Kins: Excerpt from the Great Pumpkin Letters

This is an actual copy of a letter that was burned in a fire that was never started

It is from Chief Crazy Captain Christo to R.P.M ( to be read only at a night time barbecue).

For those of you who don't know ,without Pigpen , there would be no Grateful Dead.

Or it would have been a ship without a Captain.

When Chief Crazy Captain Christo meets back up with Pigpen

Hey R.P.M.,

I never got to tell you how much I loved your band.

Well, Pigpen I am writing this with tears in my eyes.

I might need Linus' blanket to cover my red eyes so you can't see.

Oh what the Hell, I don't care let the whole world know that

my Tears are for Pig's in a Blanket.

Tell Loose Lucy that Cosmic Charlie is heading for the endzone

and Schroeder is now delivering Milk for a living Yep Milky Way

as I like to tease him.

Seriously, Pig I have one request for the man upstairs cause I know

You must be there. Tell him I know I have made my mistakes,

and my final request of a prayer would be this:

The only way I am going anywhere is to get this party started.

Meet me down in Omaha, Nebraska sometime in the future. You

will recognize me by a strange and magnificent smoke. I will be

surrounded by Twelve Webbers, Eleven Chefs and I will be organizing

my own Band. You should be able to see my One Man band with me playing

a DIME(Electric Razorback Explosion) store guitar rockin on a Half Pipe

skateboard ramp jammin out songs from the past as well as new un-re-hear-sed

tunes that have yet to be named.

Hope you can tell that I'm getting amped for the show down in O,NE.

Respectfully in Truth,

Chief Crazy Captain Christo

P.S. When I do meet back up with you Pig, if you don't mind bringing three

shots and shot glasses with you we'll recite the 23^rd Psalm in the Valley of the

Shadows. Then and only then can I say “ Yup, Good Grief the Gangs All Here”

I don't know exactly when I will be there but tell ol FUMble Fingers that

I could use a little of da Vine intermission. Thanks a lot. Oh and One last thing

Pigpen before I go. What would you like for dessert? I'm working man on an

animal cracker whipped cream ala mode with the name Pig's Delight. What do

you think? Might as well cross that off my two DO lew list. Lightnin Smokestacks

gonna be my name....2019, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13,...

This has been another abbreviated installment from The Great Pumpkin Letters

;

Chef Gordon Ramsay: Pumpkin Nightmares!

2010-03-13T21:19:00.003-06:00

May 13th 2010
Author Christo Strom

Before I begin with a reprint of an article I wrote on
SOOPER ARTICLES, I would like to dedicate this
blog post to my sister and her husband. Perhaps,
someday Gordon Ramsay and I will teach them
how to be awesome chefs. That is after I find
Penelope Cruz. Happy Birthday to my SISTER,
the Greatest Sister A brother or three could ever
have wished for! Please enjoy my favorite
Pumpkin Letter to date....

Chef Gordon Ramsay-PUMPKIN NIGHTMARES: Excerpts from The Great Pumpkin Letters,

Chief Crazy Captain Christo is a character in a screen play being written in Minnesota to be

orchestrated on a stage in ...... see if you can guess where. This is an actual conversation between

the main character Chief Crazy Captain Christo and the delightful wordsmith Chef Gordon Ramsay from Fox's hit TV show Hell's Kitchen. We join the conversation already in progress...

Over the loud speaker ( Gilbert Godfried ) was heard...

“ ...and the winner is by a lard margarine Chief Crazy Captain Christo. “

Thunderous applause and a few sprinkles of lightning were heard and seen throughout the

great plates.” Never before has Chef Gordon Ramsay ever been this mad. He was seen kicking

the trash cans and littering the audience with shouts of “DONKEY” which made the judges of the

contest ( Sharon Osbourne and Ozzy, Rob Zombie and Sheri, Zakk Wylde and Barbarranne, Gene Simmons and Tweeder, and of course War and Buffet (the Vampire Slayer), eye Chef Gordon

Ramsay in a new light.

“ this cant be possible...” Chef Ramsay shouted, “ All my dishes were fantastic yes, and brilliantly prepared. Every possible ingredient was used. They were arranged to be beautiful to the eyes as well as a smorgasboard of pallette to the taste buds. What possibly could you Donkeys have been thinking when you judged Chief Crazy Captain Christo's Sea Bass Filet Mignon and Oysters over Pumpkin Avocado Buffalo Burgers” Chef Ramsay stormed off the set of the now infamous “Pacific Omaha, Omaha Pacific” challenge or PO-OP challenge.

The judges were unanimous in their admiration for Chief Crazy Captain Christo's dish and were surprised to find out that his dish was really just made out of a carved pumpkin. In short, every last judge asked Chief Crazy Captain Christo how the Hell he pulled off the Greatest upset in the land of Milk and Honey using only a Pumpkin. Here is C.C.C.Christo's response:

....” to all the Good Judges who make it a point to sell their brand of entertainment to the world. My secret ingredient was ......”

All the judges, including Rob Zombie, leaned forward to hear the secret to C.C.C.Christo's successful win over Chef Gordon Ramsay,

“ My secret ingredient is and always has been you Jack Asses,

Art O' Fisher Fillet Vo-Rings.”

It took a while for the hoots and the hoot owls to simmer down but when they finally did and they always do, Chief Crazy Captain Christo walked off the stage and gave each of the judges a freshly cut pumpkin rind in the shape of a G.

So as the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo skateboarded back to his trailer in the park, he stopped to admire the sunsetting as plain as day and exhaled, “ Maybe next time I'll answer the judges the proper way and say something like,

My secret ingredient has been to imitate Ol Chef GORDO, beat him to the punch line,

and exclaim My secret ingredient is and has always been the Jackal Lantern, the Jack O' Lantern

and forevermore the Donkey ho-tay.

Stay tuned when Chief Crazy Captain Christo invites Chef Gordon Ramsay and family to a council meeting to take place sometime in the year 2010 to discuss plans to build Twelve new restaurants around a rock and roll , sports, medicine, movie and of course the Great Pumpkin Letters menu will be delivered to Chef Ramsay if he shows up. Actually, if Chef Ramsay shows up the menu is blank so if he wants to keep the blankety blankety blank out of his dialogue for one hour, we can proceed to design the first seven star restaurant in the history of the Milky Way.

United States Congress 2010: An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

2010-03-11T05:00:00.004-06:00

March 11th 2010
Author Christo Strom

This next blog post is a re-issue from 2009. Used with full permission
and full on the meaning will be clear. The other site that this was posted
on was over at a great Article Marketing site called
SOOPER ARTICLES. You can find it by clicking and searching for
Author Christo Strom. At the end of today's post please be sure
to read the P.S. S. ( Pumpkin Script Salutation!)

U.S. CONGRESS: FORT YOU AND YOUR A.I.G: An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

Chief Crazy Captain Christo woke up on Halloween 2009 in Minnesota and declared that the United States Congress needs a good ass whoopin. So without sparing the rod, here comes their A.I.G on a silver platter. America, get ready for THE TRUTH TO BE TOLD. Without further ado I give you the letter to wake up a snoring elected mass of idiots. You've all been asleep and you would not believe me.

Dear John F. of Patmos,

Randy Moss is playing well for your beloved Patriots. Meanwhile back at the ranch, your brethren in Congress are busy flopping like crappie on the deck of a ship. Oh well, this CAPTAIN will sweep them overboard and they will find out that Noah's Rage still lives. They have a health plan that is like 4 trillion words long and would take a super computer about one light year to read so I have pretty much written them off as hmm how to put this mildly; a scattered bunch of overpaid windbags that couldn't save a sinking ship if their life depended on it. If I could get real for a minute with you John, my faithful servant, I just would like to tell you how much I still appreciate the work you did. Yeah, besides the Moonshine days, I still love ya. I do have a favor to ask of you though John, so please listen closely. Your brother Ted recently passed as well as Patrick, Michael and Farrah. Welcome your brothers and sisters home. Tell Big J that Chief Crazy Captain Christo has been receiving the message of Faith Hope and Love earnestly and has declared that Omaha Nebraska would be a great place to start building something of TRUE VALUE. I will need some help with the final design and implementation of this building project. Tell Big J that the little girl will get her THEA-TREE HOUSE and I will not waver or faulter on my mission. Please clear a path for me and keep me safe ok? Hope this letter finds you in GOOD HEALTH.

Now John, please tell Big J that I will handle Congress with my own A.I.G. Plan. Let me try it out on you first and you can let me know what you think alrighty then, here goes nothing:

ATTENTION: UNITED STATES CONGRESS 2009

SEEK SHELTER

SEEK SHELTER FROM ( and now this is---)

KEY

Chief Crazy Captain Christo

That is all I have written so far John what do you think? Do you think the overpaid windbags on Capitol Hill can read a simple yet straightforward message. Yeah I didn't think so either. They would probably debate for three years on what I was trying to say. Oh well, I think I'll go now. I hear the doorbell and the trick or treaters are here. Hey do you guys celebrate Halloween up there John. It is probably my favorite holiday besides let's see Thansksgiving, Independence Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day, Presidents Day, Canada Boxing Day, Valentines Day, Boss Day, Secretary's Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, National Crazy Horse Day, Easter, Super Bowl 44 2010, let's see did I leave any holiday out? Whoap gotta go, the trick or treaters are here. Oh wow there's an Obama Thriller costume, a Scary Spice girl and hey it looks like a ghost with twelve holes cut in the costume. Hey it's the REAL Charlie Brown, way to go Brownie here have a rock. Thanks for staying in tune with me John. Now if you wouldn't mind telling Pigpen and Jim Morrision that yes I haven't forgot ten their tunes either. I got big plans for the future if I can just get past 2012. Say a prayer John!

Later Prez, and as always Respectfully in Truth,

The O-Range Blob of Light(ning),

Chief Crazy Captain Christo

P.S. ( Pumpkin Script) Give Thanks and Praise America the Beautiful!!!!!!!

P.S.S. ( Pumpkin Script Salutation) Since it is now 2010, I thought I would

add a GET READY for Americans to witness the sheer power of

what CHIEF CRAZY CAPTAIN CHRISTO has in store.

Can you say " JAW DROPPING AWESOMENESS"

Stay tuned and Congress 2010 - Omaha Nebraska Click Here

Sarah Palin: Sarah's Palindrome-An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

2010-03-09T19:52:00.003-06:00

March Ninth 2010
Author Christo Strom

This is a reprint from an article I had published at
SOOPER ARTICLES. It will be part of the Foreword
of a series of letters that are now being called
THE GREAT PUMPKIN LETTERS.
Since I wrote this last year, Sarah Palin has written
a book, resigned as Governor of Alaska and is busy
making speeches like at The Tea Party convention
in Tennessee. I still think she should introduce me
someday and perhaps go one on one with me
Chief Crazy Captain Christo, in a bball game.
What say you Mrs. Palin. Are you up for a game?

Here is the Pumpkin Letter Enjoy!

Sarah Palin: Sarah's Palindrome- An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

Chief Crazy Captain Christo became intrigued with Sarah Palin long before she lost her last name of Heath. You could say their paths have been intertwined as far back as 1982 and yet they have never met. Until the year 2010 came along. Let's just unwind the clock back to 2008 and the meteoric rise that is known as “ Sarah's Smile”( Author's note: Smile is to be construed as : St. Paul's meteorepublican in Limelight xcel energy) .

It was 2008 and the media attention on both the Democratic and Republican National Conventions was business as usual. It seems Denver had a relativley mild convention compared to the Ruckus known as the RNC in St. Paul. With protesters and mudslingers hiding in the open streets of St. Paul, Chief Crazy Captain Christo thought it more appropriate to learn some tunes on the guitar. After playing the old beast till his fingers bled, the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo heard the thunderous roar of a crowd cheering for someone he had never heard of before. Who is Sarah Palin and wow! Instant hook line and sinker! The wheels of his mind went into turbo charge mode and he said,” She's going to introduce ME someday.”

Chief Crazy Captain Christo darted off to his secluded hide a way and within minutes he drew up a map and then drew up the plans for the speech that Mrs. Palindrome would deliver in O-O-O-MAHA.

You see Sarah Palin deserves better treatment and C.C.C.Christo knows how to deliver. Fast forward to the year 2009 and pay close attention. In just two hours after her meeting with Paul Teutul,Sr. from

Orange County Choppers, Sarah Palin was visited by Chief Crazy Captain Christo. Bathed in an Orange Blob of Light, Sarah was FRIGHTENED. The Light spoke to Sarah like this: ( Author's note: for this conversation Sarah Palin is shown as SAPA, ryhmes with ZAPPA.

O-Range Blob of Light- “ I have seen your work and it is GOOD! Meet me in Omaha on July 9^th 2010 and we shall discuss plans for building a BRIDGE-O.”

SAPA:” HO NO! Not me buddy! I'm done with the Bridge to Nowhere jokes and such. I've got other plans with my life. Count me out! Hey who are you and how did you get past Todd?

O-Range Blob of Light- “ I souped up his Arctic Cat and he's off racing around Alaska! “

SAPA- “ Great! Well you know what they say when the Cat's a way. What can I do you for? What's your name and what's with the Orange glowing light you are shining?

O-Range Blob of Light-” My name is Chief Crazy Captain Christo and the Orange light you are seeing is just Moons over Miami. I shine this light when I feel a big win coming at the Super Bowl.”

SAPA-” Oh yeah well I would have thought it was for a basketball game. Did you know I used to play ball up here in Alaska? State champs in 82 Baby!~”

O-Range Blob of Light-” ...errr uhhh yeahhh! That is kind of why I am up here. You see, there is a little girl who will never have the opportunity you did Sarah. If I could have your support in this important matter, you could be the Hero once again. I need your influence and charisma to channel the right people to get involved. I have designed a 7.200 seat, handicapped accessible arena. I call it a “ Thea-Tree House” but it is way more than that. I am going to unveil the plans in 2010 and would really appreciate it if you could lend your support. It is kind of elaborate and will cost a pretty penny. I am kind of short on time to explain it but do you understand where I am coming from?”

SAPA-” Let me get this straight. You want me to bring the big money supporters together for a Thea Tree House” For a little girl? 7,200 seat ...... Count me in! Hey Chief Crazy Captain Christo, what about the title of this letter. Where's the Palindrome?”

O-Range Blob of Light-” Even though that would be an excellent name for the Thea Tree House, your Palindrome Sarah is “ ReppeR” It is pronounced with rolling your tongue at the first and last R's. Whoa look at the time. I gotta go vroom now so . Sorry to RUSH IN on ya but time is a valuable commodity.”

And out the door he went. Leaving only a hint of what is to come, Chief Crazy Captain Christo smiled and said,

“ I wonder if Sharon Osbourne would help as well!”

Stay tuned for more releases of The Great Pumpkin Letters!

Senator Al Franken: An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

2010-03-08T21:02:00.004-06:00

March Eighth 2010
Author Christo Strom

This next blog post was reprinted with permission from The Author
( Hey That's me!!) It was originally posted on an article marketing site
SOOPER ARTICLES

Before I begin, I would just like to say to all in Public Office, you are
under oath and if I catch you in a lie, it would be best to resign because
I am Chief Crazy Captain Christo and I am THE TRUTH.

One last thing, there is an ELEPHANT in America and it aint Republican.
There is an ASS in America and it aint Democratic Donkey.
Pay attention to THE TRUTH and you will never go wrong again!

Ok with that being said on with the reprint of Senator AL Franken
D.-MN

This a copy of an actual letter from The Great Pumpkin Letters. The author states that he wishes it to become reality by Christmas 2009, with the actual game to be played in October 2010. Please read this with a sense of urgency and a sense of humor. The actual game will be organized around Jan 1 2010 to July 9^th 2010.

SENATOR AL FRANKEN D.MN: Read this to your Senator Friends and Read it backwards to Bob Weir:) Dear ALL, ( sorry the L on my keyboard got stuck)

My name is The Great Pumpkin and I am on a mission. Chief Crazy Captain Christo is a character in a screen play based on the greatest character ever created by one of St. Paul's finest, Charles Schultz.

“ When the Chief gets Crazy” is Chief Crazy Captain Christo's calling card or in layman's term his call to action.

The reason I am writing to you Mister Senator Al Franken is this: Hey I know you are going to be in Minnesota on October 3^rd and I may even show up to show my support for Rebecca Otto , State Auditor or in my case as a line from Ramble on Rose:

“ Just like Crazy Otto...” ,

But Al pay attention here. I am going to make you and Rebecca Otto earn my support. Quite Frankly, I am tired of seeing or hearing about Billions of dollars going to Insurance Companies. “When the Chief Gets Crazy”! Now I was going to give around one hundred dollars to the cause you are attending but whatever, right Al? I'll up the ante to a whopping three hundred dollars if you will answer three questions for me. ( Authors note: Here is where you have to use your imagination and imagine Chief Crazy Captain Christo interviewing Senator Al Franken in person)

C.C.C.Christo- Ok Al , I'll set the ground rules: Every question I ask you must answer back

using the words “ That would be....” For example, if I asked you the question what song did the Grateful Dead play on Saturday Night Live where Bob Weir was wearing Rabbit Ears, you answer me with the words ,” That would be... Casey Jones” Got it Al?

Sen. Franken nods his head and grins and grimaces at the same time. That is hard to do!

C.C.C.Christo- Ok Al ,and lastly, each answer after you state “That would be” is a one word answer. So each word is worth one hundred dollars. Casey Jones was just to throw you off track! Ok, here we go. First question: What character did John Belushi hate to play on Saturday Night Live. Remember Al to only use one word and the word has to be singular.

Sen Franken-” That would be Bee”

C.C.C.Christo- “Excellent Al. One hundred dollars to the Good Senator from Minnesota. Ok , next question: What answer did Jerry Garcia give to a punch line to one of his jokes on youtube? This is a little tougher than the last one and remember Al it has to be singular.

Sen Franken- “That would be Bee.”

C.C.C.Christo-”Wow! Two hundred dollars so far Al. Ok, last question: This is for all the marbles so I won't keep you In the Dark any longer. Here is The three hundred dollar question- “ If Americans had their choice, which choice would they eliminate between these two sayings :

I want to own the American Dream

I want to rent the American Dream

Remember Al, it has to be a one word answer,

Sen. Franken, laughing hysterically because he knows the answer replies,

“ That would be RENT”

So in conclusion Chief Crazy Captain Christo and Senator Al Franken shared a good laugh, listened to WE CAN RUN by BEE BEE RENT and Senator Al Franken agreed to use the three hundred dollars to buy one top of the line leather basketball to give to the Obama children at Christmas time. Next up in Chief Crazy Captain Christo's sight is Governor Tim Pawlenty R.MN. Stay tuned

RESPECTFULLY IN TRUTH

CHIEF CRAZY CAPTAIN CHRISTO

P.S. ( that's Pumpkin Script) Since Al Franken was helping the Sandbaggers up north, March 7th 2010
I will be doing something special for Senator Al Franken. Only because it would be the
right thing to do. Thank you Al Franken.

Ivanka Trump: A Damn Ivanka-Great Pumpkin Letters

2010-03-06T09:06:00.003-06:00

March 6th 2010
THREE SIX ( No Coin SA Dents allowed!)

Author Christo Strom

aka
Chief Crazy Captain Christo
O-Range Blob of Light
Munko Christo
and tons of other goofy characters
Pay attention

This next excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters was originally posted on an
article marketing site ( Soopper Articles dot com!). So it is being reproduced
with complete cooperation from the author. Oh hey that's me Christo Strom!
Enjoy and lastly IVANKA TRUMP I will raise the anchor for you!

Respectfully in Truth,

Chief Crazy Captain Christo

Ok here it is

In this shortened version of The Great Pumpkin Letters, Chief Crazy Captain Christo is confident he will be able to persuade Ivanka Trump to agree to a business proposal. After all, it is not everyday that you are asked to help create a tree house, with said opening of the tree house in the shape of a carved out pumpkin. We interrupt this letter as Chief Crazy Captain Christo musters up the courage of ten Daniels in the Lion's Den. The letter to Ivanka begins:
Where to begin Ivanka? How about from the heart of Chief Crazy Captain Christo to you Ivanka. This is a magical letter with great powers if you know how to read between the lions. I have a business proposal for you from me. Business will blossom and this one will grow over the next 20-24 years to completion. I am looking for a strong business woman who would like to run my " MotherShip". This carries extreme responsibility that can only be described as " The Most Important Tree House Ever to Be Built." I have a guest list that I would like you Ivanka to peruse at your earliest convenience. You see, the guest list is private, and as you can
imagine, by invitation only.
(Author's note: Chief Crazy Captain Christo stopped writing and wondered aloud if Ivanka was going to keep her last name of Trump. You see The Donald's little princess is getting married to Jared Kushner) I would love to tell you all about the project in person, say July 9th 2010 down in Omaha Nebraska. I am trying to pull off a get together with Warren Buffett to help him honor Benjamin Graham. I asked Warren to prepare me a skateboard ramp with three feet of vertical half pipe, with a Dimebag Darrell Electric Razorback Explosiion guitar and an amplifier with a microphone. I am going to put on a show and I have a few surprises up my sleeve. I noticed on the Apprentice that you seemed to like Trace Adkins. I can't promise any of his tunes but I do have a huge respect for him and Country music. My tastes tend to lean more to hard
rock but I am flexible to all ranges of music. The project I would like for you to take charge of is for a little girl. I will fill you in on all the details when we first meet. Like I said before, " I am Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo and I have been guided to this land to meet up with you Ivanka. Of all the people on the Planet, the author of this huge undertaking has picked you
and there are no second or third choices. Just you Ivanka!!!!!!! I will give you time to think about it. Even if the event in Omaha never materializes, the project is still a go. Tell your future husband Jared or by the time you read this Mrs Ivanka Kushner, that he is invited to
participate as well. I don't travel in packs or have photographers hounding me. I walk with a confident swagger and can ice skate and play guitar backwards at the same time. I am a risk taker and I am risking nothing by asking you to take part Ivanka. I do not believe in failure. Please say you will meet with me. The window of opportunity for this project Ivanka is July 9th 2010 to July 9th 2012. After which if you have not agreed in principle, I will shed 31 tears in private and move on to finding someone who will see the magic in this Chief Crazy Captain Christo's HEART. Remember Ivanka, no one has ever seen The Great Pumpkin rise.
You will be given the power to make The Great Pumpkin visible to everyone!
In order for me to know you are serious, The Great One ( as the Great Pumpkin is so fond of reminding me:) has asked me to inform you that you are to go before The United States Congress in Washington D.C. And speak of what I have told you. Tell Congress that Chief Crazy Captain Christo has his own A.I.G. That will speak volumes to unbelievers! To say that there will be a lot of jaws dropping would be an understatement. So in conclusion what say you Ivanka? There's a little girl who is depending on you and me and anyone who wants to volunteer. Are you up to the challenge?
Respectfully in Truth,
Chief Crazy Captain Christo
P.S.( that's Pumpkin Script) Ivanka, tell your Dad that I would be interested in full disclosure of the Tree House with twelve to thirteen "limbs" attached. It would be easier to describe in person and show you some paintings of the actual place. But I want interactive feedback and to be honest a smile from you would be nice. That's it.

Now the Ball is firmly in your court IVANKA TRUMP!!!!!

Thea Andrews : Thea Tree House

2010-03-01T17:51:00.003-06:00

Thea Andrews 2010: Thea Tree House -An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

Author Christo Strom

Chief Crazy Captain Christo looked up in the sky and then looked at his calendar. Hmm, by the angle of the moon and with the Sun coming up any second now, he noticed it was March 2010. It

happens in threes he mumbled. To no one in particular. So the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo decided the day was drawing nearer. The DAY! It is just a day so remember it happens in threes.

Or in this case Thea Tres ( left one e out and you get a whole other meaning. If you catch my drift. Kind of like a snow drift without the snow. But this one will be a Show drift with a show. Pay attention my good readers!)

In this abbreviated version of The Great Pumpkin Letters, Chief Crazy Captain Christo is starting his real mission in life. You see he is nearing the end of his run on the planet and he wants to leave behind the LEGACY. What legacy you ask? If you have been following The Great Pumpkin Letters you might have noticed a few common threads running through the story. Believe it or not, these letters have been the part before the actual story is to begin. If I am writing this right, they have been the Foreword to the actual book. So without further ado, this is the last letter in the Foreword before the real story begins.

To set the scene up, Chief Crazy Captain Christo is in the process of transforming into The O-Range Blob of Light. Only this time, he is wearing the coolest Hockey mask ever created. To describe it would be like describing the Mona Lisa to a Garbage Collector. It wouldn't make any sense. So use your imagination and picture what the coolest hockey mask on Earth would be and then multiply by infinity. Ok got the picture in your mind. That is how cool it is! After his transformation was

complete, Chief Crazy Captain Christo remembered what Dimebag Darrell said in his eeery visitation.

“ Hey Black Tooth Grinner, I loved hockey!”. So he flew up to Canada to meet with none other than Thea Andrews.

For this shortened conversation, Thea Andrews is going by the name of ALTHEA ( which stands for America Loves Thea, and just coincidentally happens to be a song in the vast Grateful Dead song book)

Chief Crazy Captain Christo is going by the unusual and fascinating name of TYPE ( author's note: Ty Pennington, of Extreme Makeover hit TV show) Chief Crazy Captain Christo is hovering above Thea Andrews, who is a bit frightened but in a good mood, and is giving the performance of his life. So here it is, the conversation between ALTHEA and TYPE. Enjoy!

ALTHEA: “ Wowww! Honey, come quick. There's the coolest apparition I have ever seen. Hovering above me is this O-Range Blob of Light with the coolest hockey mask I have ever seen. I think he is trying to speak.”

TYPE ( authors's note: Chief Crazy Captain Christo can only act like Ty Pennington but sounds nothing like him! For real!): “ Thea Andrews, you have been selected to be the only person on THE PLANET

worthy enough for this building project. It has been tentatively named um how do I say this right. It has been tentatively named THEA TREE HOUSE. The project is extremely detailed and involves stuff that you see on my hit TV show Extreme Makeover......”

ALTHEA ( laughing hysterically): “ Woah, stop right there, hahahahaha, you aren't Ty Pennington. You don't sound anything like him. Who are you and what are you talking about a Thea Tree House. You know I have lawyers and anything with my name on it has to be pre-approved.”

TYPE:” Very well Thea, you caught me. My name is Chief Crazy Captain Christo and I am on a mission. It involves building a Thea Tree House for a little American girl who will need our help in the future. It is an extremely complicated building process but is extremely easy to explain. What I am asking you THEA ANDREWS is to accept the position of Entertainment Hostess for when we open up the doors to this place sometime in 2015 , earlier if I get extreme cooperation. The actual name of the place is being withheld for obvious reasons. Don't worry, it won't be named Thea Tree House cause I know all about lawyers and such. But I will say this THEA. You will kick yourself for the rest of your life if you don't come check this out. So I am asking on bended knee ( author's note: The O-Range Blob of Light with the coolest Hockey mask lowered himself down and was kneeling on both knees!)

Thea Andrews, will you please help me out and show up between the dates of July 9^th 2010 and July 9^th 2012. Down in Omaha Nebraska at a place to be determined by following along. Since I doubt you have been reading the Great Pumpkin Letters, I'll catch you up to speed. I only hang out in Minnesota, Nebraska and Colorado. Although my reputation takes me everywhere! Will you please help me out?”

ALTHEA: “ On one condition Chief Crazy Captain Christo”

TYPE: “ What's that Thea?”

ALTHEA: “ I will do my best to show up if you leave me the Hockey Mask”

All of a sudden there were earthquakes and lightning strikes and the sound of Thundering Tornados ripping through Thea Andrews home. This lasted for seven minutes. When it was over, Thea Andrews looked on the ground and there it was

ALTHEA: “ That was impressive Chief Crazy 'Captain Christo.” But he was no where to be found. He did as he was told and left Thea Andrews the coolest Hockey mask on the Planet. Stay tuned everyone. The foreword of The Great Pumpkin Letters is now complete. Next up the STORY you have all been waiting for. At least I bet Rob Zombie has been waiting for. The meeting of Chief Crazy Captain Christo and Alice Cooper! It is going to be a rip roaring spectacle when a professional shock rocker meets the amateur that well you'll just have to wait and see now won't you!

Zakk Wylde 2010: The Cry of the Wylde!!!

2010-02-24T05:23:00.004-06:00

February 24th 2010
Author Christo Strom

This Great Pumpkin Letter goes out for Black Label Society fans,
band members, Barbaranne Wylde, and of course the Zakkster.
May you ROCK FOREVER EVERYONE!!!

Zakk Wylde 2010: Cry of the Wylde- An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

Chief Crazy Captain Christo decided in 2009 that this would be the Year of The Great Pumpkin

2010. So all you sleigh riders and jingle bell jinglers can step aside this year. 2010 here we are and here we are going to rock. Without pissing off the Pope, I give you the most important Pumpkin Letter ever written ( to date there are a little over thirty if you are counting:). This is titled Cry of the Wylde but it could very well have been titled The Blessed P-RIDE. So without wasting any more time, let's rock!

Now to set this scene up, I am using Zakk Wylde's Orange and Black Buzzsaw guitar ( my personal favorite!) on a half pipe skateboard ramp with three feet of vertical and a brass slide. I am practicing my Off the lip into the fire hole dancing skateboard maneuver while trying to play the lead to Gary Rossington's FREE BIRD. It is actually hard to do and I have yet to pull this one off. For this conversation, Chief Crazy Captain Christo is disguised as The Blessed Orange Wood or BOW for you shorties out there. And Zakk Wylde is having his name changed to kWy. It is a bold move for Chief Crazy Captain Christo to call Zakk kWy but that is why he is the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo.

OK now on with the show. Enter Zakk Wylde

kWy: Hey Chief Crazy Captain Christo, you pissed off the Pope again!”

BOW: What?( Rob Zombie's song Thumpin in Chief Crazy Captain Christo's ear phones)

I can't here you Zakk.

kWy: I said you pissed off the Pope again! The Pope was pissed that you sided with Americans

and that Rome could go suck an egg! He wants an apology before midnight tonight or else he said he was going to send over the ROMAN candles that you sent him.”

BOW: The Pope says he wants me to apologize before midnight tonight? Hey Zakk what day is it today?”

kWy:” It's January 14^th , 2010”

BOW:” Let's see. What is so special about this day. Don't tell me Zakk let me guess.”

kWy: “ It's....”

But before Zakk could finish the sentence Chief Crazy Captain Christo blurted out

BOW: “ I know it was the day Ozzy pissed on the Alamo down in San Antonio which was kind of a freudian slip on Ozzy's part since Tony Iommi is mentioned in another Pumpkin Letter. Am I right Zakk?”

Dejected, Zakk slumped his shoulders as if a terrible weight was thrust on them and he slouched toward the door. A tiny tear developed on Zakk's left eye and was about to fall when out of the blue and over Zakk's right shoulder came floating on the wind the immortal words of Chief Crazy Captain Christo.....

BOW: “HAPPY ORANGE LABEL YELLER BACK IN BLACK LABEL ETERNAL.”

Zakk Wylde's emotions got the best of him. He turned around and looked. A sight for sore eyes beheld a sight he would never forget. There on the skateboard ramp was Chief Crazy Captain Christo holding a picture of Dimebag.

BOW: “ Happy Birthday Zakk. What you did for Darrell there are no words from me that could show as much respect or appreciation. So today on your birthday, let's finish the job for Darrell. Will you help me organize a little get together down in Dallas on say Super Bowl Sunday in Dallas? I am writing you in advance because I want you and Rob Zombie and Everyone you guys deem worthy of what I would call THE GREATEST ACT OF RESPECT ever assembled. I will put my ASS on the line and help out in any way possible. After all, I am Chief Crazy Captain Christo and I came to Rock and Roll. If this will be my professional debut, then so be it.”

kWy: “ Who are you Chief Crazy Captain Christo? Some kind of God or something?”

BOW: “ No quite the contrary. I am a blessed Halloween Knight and I will not apologize to the Pope on your birthday Zakk. He is going to have to wait in line like everyone else. Now listen here Zakk, we have no time to lose.”

This has been another abbreviated version of The Great Pumpkin Letters. Stay tuned for more in 2010!

Gary Rossington: The Awesome Rebel G

2010-02-23T05:04:00.005-06:00

February 23rd 2010
Author Christo Strom

Gary Rossington: “The Awesome” Rebel G – An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

Chief Crazy Captain Christo takes time out of his busy day to reflect and ponder about

a guitar player whom he selectively has given the nickname of “ The Awesome”. Now you might

think I'm crazy to give a nickname to someone I have never spoken to live. You would be mostly right about that. I am crazy but with a capital SEA. Led by a rebel rocker, the band is well known beyond belief. Shakin like a leaf on a tree, I casually walked around the Great Minnesota Get Together recently headlined by Kid Rock , and was flabbergasted that Lynyrd Skynyrd was the opening act. To give you a perspective on why I am calling Gary Rossington “ The Awesome “ let's go back a few years shall we.

Back in the late seventies early eighties, there was a band that I just loved calling themselves The Rossington-Collins Band. I won't go into their history but to put it mildly they ROCKED!” What I loved about this particular band was they put a female singer in the lineup. I don't need to tell anyone really but I will anyway. This woman has got some soulful pipes inlaid in her frame. If I am not mistaken, she also is ( I hope anyway!) married to Gary Rossington. Congratulations Mr and Mrs Rossington!

This is a conversation I am conducting right now as I type to the Great Rossingtons. The names for this piece are changed to protect my exclusive rights when I make this into a book, movie and Thea Tree House that Rocks. Gary Rossington will be GROSS and his wife will be D-KROSS

Chief Crazy Captain Christo will be as always The O-Range Blob of Light. The place is called ANYWHERE. The year will be 2010. Here you go and you are welcome to it Skynyrd FANS!

O-Range Blob of Light, shining too bright for anyone to see, “ Hey GROSS, D-KROSS, can you help out a brother?”

GROSS-” Outta here! It's too bright! C'mon Dale let's go somewhere a little more shady. This bright O-Range Blob of Light is killin my eyes.”

D-KROSS “ Hey I'm ready and waitin on you. Gary, this bright O-Range Blob of Light seems to be beckoning us to follow him. Don't misunderstand me but let's hear him out ok.”

O-Range Blob of Light-” Thank you D-KROSS. Now let me be briefly crazy for a minute. I have an upcoming project I have tentatively called BUILDING A THEA-TREE HOUSE. What this involves is gathering together the best and greatest musicians on the planet for a purpose. The purpose is to build a 7,200 seat outdoor/indoor Thea Tree House that to put it mildly will flippin Rock. Can I count on you Mr. GROSS to at least show up and listen to what I have to say?

GROSS:” You got my attention now so why don't you turn down that orange light and we'll discuss this privately so I can be assured that there aint no more dirty deals comin my way.”

O-Range Blob of Light-” I can't turn down the light because that's who I am. Just close your eyes and listen and open your ears to see. This 7,200 seat project will require teamwork that I would like to see come together around July 9^th 2010. I will be sliding on down to Nebraska around Omaha but the exact place will be determined at a later date. I kind of threw a dart and Omaha showed its colors if you know what I mean. I hope to show up and do a few skateboard maneuvers on a radical ramp with my Dimebag Razorback Explosion Guitar and would appreciate it if you could show me a few sliding tricks.

D-KROSS-” Yeah right the next phone call to your wife would be uh excuse me Mamm but your husband just broke his neck when he fell off the slide”

At this everyone, including The O-Range Blob of Light erupted in thunderous laughter and outside all around was extreme lightning strikes. This has been another abbreviated version of The Great Pumpkin Letters. Stay tuned for 2010 when Chief Crazy Captain Christo explains why he gave the nickname of The Awesome to Gary Rossington.

P.S. ( that's Pumpkin Script) Long Live The AWESOME REBEL G

James Earl Jones-Introduction of M-USAFA

2010-02-22T04:11:00.003-06:00

James Earl Jones: The Introduction of M-USAFA: An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

Chief Crazy Captain Christo was reflecting on his life that started sometime between September 1877 and October 1892. ( Author's note: The exact dates are kind of hazy so if you see Chief Crazy Captain Christo don't argue with him. He knows a lot of different spells!) But on this one particular day in the summer of 2009, the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo was reflecting not on his own life but that of one special actor named James Earl Jones. You see, Chief Crazy Captain Christo is a huge fan of Field of Dreams. That movie with Kevin Costner and James Earl Jones about building a stadium. But Chief Crazy Captain Christo also loved the Disney animated movie The Lion King where James Earl Jones voiced the ill fated father figure Musafa. The Good Chief saw that film about 158 times. You see the Good Chief's son, who was introduced in the piece about Sarah Palin, in a cleverly disguised word called Palindrome. His son's name is drome. Or Doctor Owe Me depending on how you can relate to Father and Son.

So back to James Earl Jones. On this particular fine sunny day, Chief Crazy Captain Christo decided to put two and two together to go forth with his plan. He disguised himself as The O-Range Blob of Light and went off seeking the Great James Earl Jones! We interrupt the conversation in progress....James Earl Jones can be read as JARL J ONE

O-Range Blob of Light-” Me and Mrs Jones were just discussing you Earl. And she told me you don't play the lead role in My Name is Earl. “

J.ARL J.ONE-” SILENCE! Who are you and what do you want with my wife?”

O-Range Blob of Light-” Mufasa, you're Home! Great, Please allow me to introduce myself. I am

Chief Crazy Captain Christo and I have a production number for you if you choose to help out. I need you to be the narrator of a short film I am going to produce called “ M-USAFA”

J.ARL J.ONE-” SILENCE! My title character in the hit Disney animated film was named M-U-F-A-S-A. Mufasa”

O-Range Blob of Light-” Easy Big Dawg! I know very well your character's name as I watched it exactly one hundred and fifty eight times with my son drome.”

J.ARL J.ONE “ SILENCE, Look at the STARS....”

O-Range Blob of Light- “ Yeah I know Billions of Balls of Gas Blah Blah Blah. Now if you will just SILENCE I can explain the character of M-USAFA. OK Earl?”

J.ARL.J.ONE-” If you build it, they will come!”

O-Range Blob of Light-” Yeah, so you know what I am up to then huh Earl? I am going to try to gather together some influential people together on July 9^th 2010 down in Omaha Nebraska. There I will be unveiling a plan to build a Thea-Tree-House. You know where cats known as musicians and friends can get together and jam. It will be for one little girl who has yet to be named, you know player to be named at a later date. But for the introduction of M-USAFA

J.ARL.J.ONE-” SILENCE!You know what don't tell me. I'll guess that you are building this Thea Tree House for one special girl because you want to introduce the world to your grandfather and father through the well thought out and intensely private affair of your family. You are using the imagery of Mufasa and turning it into M-USAFA to honor your grandfather BEAN and your father ohh what's his name. Oh holy hair ball what's his name?

O-Range Blob of Light- “ It begins with a B”

J.ARL.J.ONE-” SILENCE! I know what it begins with. His name is ROCK and you want to incorporate Mexican jumping BEANS on a ROCK .

O-Range Blob of Light-” You're getting colder , Mufasa you are dying here! I'll have to write a different Pumpkin letter dealing directly with M-USAFA. Thanks EARL! You've been a great help. I can see I need some character building strategies. Hey Earl one last thing, Do you have any Chalk to write with? You know so I can write and rewrite.

But there was no movement this time from James Earl Jones. It was then that Chief Crazy Captain Christo realized he had fallen asleep at the new Lion King wax museum in Arkabutla, Mississippi and missed the bus back home. Oh well, there's a nice young man waiting at the bus stop. Maybe he can help with the story line. Chief Crazy Captain Christo went up and introduced himself.

“ Life is like a box of chocholates......” His name for an upcoming edition of The Great Pumpkin Letters is none other than FO.GU.GU.( Forest Gumpty Gump) Stay tuned!

P.S. (that's Pumpkin Script) If you would like to donate to a worthy cause, Chief Crazy Captain Christo recommends you click on the title up above, just click on James Earl Jones-Introduction of M-USAFA. Thank you and may God bless and keep you always!

Respectfully in TRUTH,

Chief Crazy Captain Christo

Author Christo Strom
www.unitetwosites.com

Bill Gates: Fore Word March to Mardi Gras

2010-02-15T03:56:00.002-06:00

Bill Gates: Fore Word March to Mardi Gras- An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

In this installment of The Great Pumpkin Letters, Chief Crazy Captain Christo is hedging

his futures on one certain Bill Gates. For those of you who have been under a rock, (Plymouth),

Bill Gates is extremely extraordinary. Not because he is a Billionaire or that his fledgling company

Microsoft is pretty much everywhere. No the reason he is extremely extraordinary is because he still acts like a kid at heart. That is pretty amazing wouldn't you say? So with that said, let's join up with a conversation you probably didn't even know existed. Here it is! The conversation piece between Chief Crazy Captain Christo and Bill Gates. ( Authors note: Chief Crazy Captain Christo for reasons only known to him refers to Bill Gates as Big A.

C.C.C.Christo-” Hey Big A. How's backward Slash treatin ya?”

Big A- “ You mean Slash the guitar God?”

C.C.C.Christo-” Yeah I mean Saul Ash! How about paying attention Big A. I've got a job for you and I would like to see an idea of mine come to PASS. Please do me a Big Favor and bring some of your rock and roll buddies to a summit in July 2010. Please invite Slash the guitar God ( smirk guffaw)

and let Slash invite 1000 of his rock and roll buddies who are serious about contributing to the WORTHIEST cause on the planet. Since this is a one time event, with a two year WINDOW of opportunity to get involved, please only invite committed people who love Halloween and The Great Pumpkin.

Big A-” You mean like KISS, SLIPKNOT, Alice Cooper, Rob Zombie, Ozzy Osbourne, Black Label Society, Slayer, .......” Big A continued for another twenty minutes reeling off bands names until finally Chief Crazy Captain Christo could contain his laughter no longer. With a huge pumpkin clown grin, the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo replied,

C.C.C.Christo- “ You got it Big A. And hey Big A. Here is the kicker. Please invite some people who know how to shape wood! I have a construction project with a rock and roll theme and I would like part of the construction project to use Ash wood. White or Black Ash it doesn't matter. I have the designs all ready to be viewed and then bid on in a public setting. So if you could be so kind as to bring fore word your brilliant mind, we could get this party started. I will fill you in on July 9^th, 2010.

See you there Big A.”

And with that being said , Chief Crazy Captain Christo varnished from the scene and left Big A muttering something like, “ Hey I wonder if Warren Buffett would be interested in getting together on July 9^th 2010. It sure would beat our bridge outings. We could organize at the Qwest in Omaha and then .....wait oh how do I get a hold of that crazy guy and tell him that would be flippin awesome!”

Chief Crazy Captain Christo wondered if he had gotten through to Big A. After all, he forgot to mention that all this construction to rock the house will need some teamwork and Chief Crazy Captain Christo remembered that Big A retired! Oh well, he thought, maybe Slash will show up any way. The show must go on. The Great Pumpkin will rise!

What Big A didn't realize was that C.C.C.Christo was just getting started with the plans. The monumental task of arranging the right people is staggering. Seven minutes had expired on the clock when all of a sudden Big A turned to see C.C.C.Christo standing before him with a Crazy Cat-like expression and a funny gleam in his eyes. Like fire from the Sun, the words hit Big A like a ton of bricks.

C.C.C.Christo-” Windows Seven is like what your kazillionth version of your Operating System?”

Big A-” Uhh, I stepped down remember. I no longer run the show at Microsoft”

C.C.C.Christo-” Great! Then you should have no problem helping me out here. Big A, here is what you could do to help out big time. Please get a hold of Warren Buffett and friends for a get together in Omaha. We could discuss plans to put together a Trillion dollar empire for kids. Instead of calling you Big A I think I will call you Billy Kids.

Big A:-”Whatever hahaha”

The two business entrepreneurs became lifelong friends although it is only a rumour.

The biggest rumour that is emerging is the association of Bing and Cherry for a fantastic

restaurant desert menu for Hell's Kitchen. But that's another mile down the road.

Stay tuned! This has been another installment of The Great Pumpkin Letters. The author insists

that if you know any person or band mentioned in this installment, to forward this to them. Full disclosure is required for the function of construction. Great Pumpkin rules!

Christo Strom author

www.unitetwosites.com

Glorie Anna Ballasteros

2010-02-14T07:23:00.003-06:00

February 14th 2010

Happy Valentines Day Glorie Anna Ballasteros

In this shortened Valentines Day Pumpkin Letter
Chief Crazy Captain Christo expresses his love
for Glorie Anna Ballasteros

Glorie Anna Ballasteros is Chief Crazy Captain Christo's
long long long time lover. And will always be forevermore

Enjoy! The title of his poem is

HEY CAKER BAKER

When times get tough and you're feeling bad
Do you ever look back on things you had

Remembering times before push and shove
Screaming out loud "Where's the Love?!!"

\I just thought maybe you might look back too
So I have written this one only for you

It doesn't matter wherever you are near or far
Could be the darkest cloud or brightest star

\I hope when you read this a spark will ignite
Inside your heart to protect you from fright

I thing it was said around day ten and two
Hey Caker Baker, I love you!

Copyright © 2009

P.S. ( that's Pumpkin Script!)

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO ALL
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!

RESPECTFULLY IN TRUTH

CHIEF CRAZY CAPTAIN CHRISTO

UNITETWOSITES

Richard Branson: 78 Chances Till Ophelia

2010-02-13T05:33:00.002-06:00

Richard Branson: 78 Chances till Ophelia-An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

Chief Crazy Captain Christo was pond daring the existence of the British fascination with

the word SIR. You see in America, the term SIR has a completely different meaning. It is not

bestowed upon you by a Queen. Nor is it to be taken lightly. SIR, to the Good Chief Crazy Captain

Christo, is a title of respect that is earned by a little thing called DISCIPLINE. The other day, Chief Crazy Captain Christo had the immensely good fortune of having a little fun with someone walking and flying around the planet known as Sir Richard Branson. Here is the exact conversation that was recorded on July 18^th 2009. Richard Branson is shown here as SIRI BRA to protect his ego! He was on a flight over the Atlantic when he looked out of the window and saw an eery O-Range Blob of Light.

SIRI BRA: “ Stewardess, is it just me or is there an O-Range Blob of Light on the wing of our plane. It looks like he is skateboarding on a halp pipe with three feet of vertical playing a Dimebag Electric Razorback Explosion guitar with a brass slide. Tell him to come in at once. He's scaring the HE double toothpicks outta me and he's not supposed to deflate my ego!”

O-Range Blob of Light:” SIRI BRA, is that you? Wow it is you. Hey you look a lot older in prison er I mean person.”

SIRI BRA,to the pilot of the plane, “ Captain! Please divert our plane back to England. We seem to have an unwanted guest on our flight who needs to get off immediately.” Turning to the O-Range Blob of Light, SIRI BRA continued:” Look! I don't know who you are or where you came from but you are going to be led away in handcuffs when we reach Scotland Yard! Who the HELL are you?”

Chief Crazy Captain Christo felt sorry for Billionaire Branson. For the first time in his life, Chief Crazy Captain Christo felt sorry for a rich person. So the Good Chief did what any American would do! He slapped Richard to attention.

O-Range Blob of Light-” Attention! SIRI BRA, my name is Chief Crazy Captain Christo and I have come to ROCK the world. When we get to Scotland Yard you tell them to stand down and I will let you live. Anything else will be career suicide for you SIRI BRA.”

Laughing hysterically SIRI BRA exclaimed, “ You are absoulutely mad! Did you drink some mushroom tea with the Queen?”

O-Range Blob of Light-” SIRI BRA, you are insulting my intelligence! Now I must do what I told myself I would never do. OK here it is SIRI BRA. You only have 78 Chances till Ophelia. You have 78 chances till you are erased from The Book of Pumpkins.”

SIRI BRA-” 78 chances or I'll be erased from what? A bloody book that has never been written! Let me tell you something Chief. You are on my plane and when we get to Scotland Yard, you will be arrested and charged with interfering with air travel and I will make sure the charges stick and you spend the rest of your bloody days in confinement.”

O-Range Blob of Light- “ Before you go I have two requests. One is don't open this O-Range letter till January 2010. The other request is could you have the visiting warden at Scotland Yard be Angus. Remember SIRI, 78 Chances.”

When the plane arrived at Scotland Yard, big beefy security types met SIRI BRA and hauled Chief Crazy Captain Christo away in what could only be described as Prison Heaven. The loud speakers bellowed out strains of AC/DCs For Those About To Rock” SIRI BRA stared at the speeding chauffeur driven limousine and wondered to himself, “ What did that chief mean about 78 chances. He must be crazy if he thinks I am going to heed anything he says. I am Sir Richard Branson and I bow to no Americans!

On a wing and a prayer floated the immortal words of Chief Crazy Captain Christo, “ Think again Dick!” SIRI BRA was inflamed! Stay tuned America! In July 2010 you will find out what was written on the O-Range letter handed to SIRI BRA.

Warren Buffett's Third Day Delivery

2010-02-12T06:22:00.002-06:00

Warren Buffett: Third Day Delivery: An Excerpt from the Great Pumpkin Letters

In this excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters, Chief Crazy Captain Christo decides to

do something no other human being has done and explain Stock Trading Revelations ON

Money to Mr. Warren Buffett. The Oracle from Omaha was stunned to realize that someone

of Chief Crazy Captain Christo's caliper even knew about the stock market. Mr. Buffett was

even more stunned when Chief Crazy Captain Christo showed up in Omaha with just a skateboard,

a Dime store guitar with out a microphone. We enter the conversation already in progress...

C.C.C.Christo: “Hey Mr. B to the U how are you doing today?” to which a completely frazzled

and perplexed answer floated away from Warren Buffett

W. BU: “ Who are you and what do you want from me”

C.C.C.Christo: “I am the FEARLESS ONE.”

W.BU:” Yeah right! Good one and I am the Oracle of Omaha, and a Billionaire Business Owner. Have you heard of Geico, Coca-Cola, Berkshire Hathaway, Borsheims......”

C.C.C.Christo: “ Yes sir I have heard of them and by the way, awesome job of weathering the RE-pression.”

W.BU: “Excuse me but it's called a recession”

C.C.C.Christo-” Pardon my Four Pause but I was talking about something else. Let me cut straight to the chase then Mr. BU. Listen up and listen good. I will only state this one time. You are to organize all your Billionaire Buddies for a SUMMIT. I will be coming back down to Omaha in July of 2010

with a STORY about Genesis. Your first words in person to me mentioned GEICO. I just want to remind you Good Sir that my insurance plans include GE from Genesis. I would like to go over with you plans to build something special. You also would probably like to honor your mentor Ben jammin Graham. I can relate to Ben Jammin so my request of you Good Oracle of Omaha is to gather together 12,000 of your “Good Friends You Can TRUST”. Prepare a stage for me at the QWEST in Omaha and I will continue this conversation. I will guarantee a Command Performance and lastly SWEARING will not be tolerated. If I have to I will hire my own Bounty Hunter who is a really good Chapman

to ensure my demands are met.”

W.BU: “ So let me get this straight. You're asking me to get 12,000 of my “ Billionaire Buddies” as you just stated together for a what? A summit? What exactly would the point be if I may be so bold as to ask a question of the FEARLESS ONE.”

C.C.C.Christo: “ There is to be a stadium or arena to be built. Nothing huge or pretentious. Just a 7,200 handicapped accessible Theatre-e if you will. There are exacting building standards that need to be followed and I would be more than honored if you would exercise good common sense and hear me out on a certain day let's say July 9^th 2010. So if you wouldn't mind organizing your people ,I will show up rain or shine. Form I performance I will need a ½ pipe skateboard ramp with three feet of vertical wood at the top of the ramp. One amplifier , one Dimebag Electric Razorback Explosion guitar, a simple microphone, and one brass slide.

W.BU-” Woah, Woah, Woah....Who's going to insure this fiasco?

C.C.C.Christo: “ You are Warren. And my performance fee to insure I show up is $75,000. This will insure that if my son drops out of college like say Bill Gates or Steve Jobs, I will at least have something to help support him for a while since you and I know how the Government will treat him. Now if these terms are acceptable, I will go tell the Great Pumpkin and all will be forgiven.”

W.BU-” You're insane!!!”

C.C.C.Christo-” There is a fine line between Santa T and the insane. Remember Warren, 12,000 people who would be willing to invest a few hours on July 9^th 2010. Invest Wisely. Do you like Johnny Cash?

Warren Buffett wondered to himself, “ It couldn't be, no that would be crazy, who is that guy?”

This has been another installment of the Great Pumpkin letters. Stay tuned!

Christo Strom is the website owner of www.unitetwosites.com
He is currently working on a new site that will be a membership site for a new Art , Music and Movie Studio being built in July 2010

Rob Zombie Part 2: What? Jesus Frankenstein!!

2010-02-10T04:14:00.003-06:00

February Tenth Two Thousand and Ten

Rob Zombie Part 2: What? Jesus Frankenstein- An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

Hey Mr. Rob Zombie,

It is I, Chief Crazy Captain Christo! The Great Pumpkin has informed me that he wrote a letter to you and that I should write you as well. So here it is. I have not yet decided if it will be a seven part letter so forgive me for starting with Part 2. Ready or not, let's rock! As you can see from the title of this letter I have chosen what I perceive to be the third and the first songs from your soon to be released Hellbilly Deluxe II set of songs. But before I go any further I would like to say Thank you again from the bottom of my Orange heart for your recent show in St. Paul at the Roy Wilkins. Absolutely loved the animation of El Super Beasto. Anyways, back to the letter. On yeah the band was pretty good too!
I am wondering if you would be interested on your time off to meet me down in Omaha, Nebraska.
Wait scratch that. How about you meet me at FORT ROBINSON in Nebraska at a time you deem reasonable. I would like to go over plans for a Rock and Roll Theme Park that my son and I came up with. It is really a hot theme and I believe you will love it. It will consist of eighteen Heavy Metal themed Kick Ass rides that will scare the be Jesus out of anyone including yourself Mr. Zombie. Without going into further details, as there are way more than eighteen rides, I will leave that up to your imagination. You see I made a promise to a five year old boy eight years ago and I am going to see this through so when he turns EIGHTEEN he will see that his old man keeps his promises.
I am making this next part easy for anyone who has been following The Great Pumpkin Letters, perhaps you have Rob or perhaps not. I don't know ( thanks Ozzy!) So without further complications I bring you the first conversation never recorded between Rob Zombie and Chief Crazy Captain Christo.
To help set this scene up, the place is in a recording studio in Nebraska on the road towards well let's see if you can figure it out. Chief Crazy Captain Christo's name for this piece is Freek Kick and Rob Zombie's name is AZ-MA. So here it is Enjoy:
AZ-MA- “ Hey Chief Crazy Captain Christo. It's your dime. I showed up. What have you got for me?”
Freek Kick-” Thanks for showing up Rob. Believe it or not, I am going to make you the richest Zombie the world has ever known.”
AZ-MA-” How's that Chief?”
Freek Kick-” Well, if you can just SLOW DOWN”
AZ-MA” Never gonna stop ...”
Freek Kick-” Suit yourself Rob but the educated horse I am talkin bout is CRAZY....”
Tires screeching to a halt as Rob puts the brakes on full throttle down!. Lucky for both Rob and Chief Crazy Captain Christo, crash proof window panes were installed in the mobile recording studio the Good Chief had designed. Both their faces smashed into the glass and blood oozed slowly out of their flattened noses. Rob spoke first.
AZ-MA-” Let me guess, you are going to say CRAZY HORSE. That's why you brought me here and that's what you have been trying to say all along. Why didn't you just say so!”
Freek Kick-” Well not quite exactly. I do love the story about Crazy Horse, but I am going to explain the reasoning behind the meetings in Omaha and Fort Robinson Nebraska. I am going to start with why Fort Robinson first. Let's just say ROBINSON. Like Rob and Son meaning my son this time.
You have from your website a little person with face paint and quoting from your website, “ It's never to early to start...” or something like that.
AZ-MA-” OK so what's your point?”
Freek Kick-” Here's my point. I forgot the song” Ronnie Van Zant appeared for the first time in a Pumpkin Letter!
AZ-MA-” My nose stopped bleedin. Hey what do you know about that! My nose aint bleedin!
Freek Kick-” What day is it?”
AZ-MA-” It's January 12th 2010”
Freek Kick-” Oh Good Grief, Happy Birthday Rob!”

And with that Chief Crazy Captain Christo handed Rob Zombie the Keys to Heaven and Hell with the immortal words Do not Open till Showtime! This has been another abbreviated version of The Great Pumpkin Letters. Stay tuned for more to come in 2010!

P.S. ( that's Pumpkin Script) Part Three thru Seven will be released later this year and next year
so stay tuned. And one last thing exclusively for Rob Zombie. This series of Great Pumpkin Letters will eventually be made into a series of SEVEN FILMS if you are interested. Let me know OK ROB,

Than ks,
Christo Strom
www.unitetwosites.com
aka Chief Crazy Captain Christo ( the one and I hope the only!)

Rob Zombie Meet Chief Crazy Captain Christo

2010-02-09T16:53:00.003-06:00

Rob Zombie: An Excerpt from “The Great Pumpkin Letters”

Hey Mr. Rob Zombie!

It's the Great Pumpkin writing to the Greatest Director of All Time.

Yeah, lurking inside that warped mind of Rock and Roll Bad Asses

You are going to go on an incredible journey Rob! You see I just

got a letter from a Character in a Movie you are going to Direct in

The Near Future. How near you ask? Listen up Rob. Now this is

important. The Character in The Movie you are going to Direct

Mr. Z is none other than Chief Crazy Captain Christo. He has been

putting the finishing touches on a screen play that you will adapt into

a Hollywood Blockbuster, loosely based on the Greatest Character

Ever created by Charles Schultz. Hey Rob It's Me The Great Pumpkin.

Chief Crazy Captain Christo told me and I quote, “ Rob Zombie's

the only director I would trust in a Sea of Same Ol Lame Ol. Rob has

not only got the talent of a Great Artist but a Director's Eye that is

sure to impress .

Chief Crazy Captain Christo is

going down to Nebraska in July of 2010 to Challenge Old Man Buffett

to a game of Who's the Richest Man now? He wants you to be there Rob.

Chief Crazy Captain Christo says “... The comfort zone for the Rich will

evaporate in front of everyone's eyes. That is after the Great Pumpkin rises

out of the Pumpkin Patch ... you know the story. Chief Crazy Captain Christo

wants to show you Mr. Zombie the keys to Erasing the National Debt. Before

any of the old crony club beats you Rob. C'mon, Chief Crazy Captain Christo

wants you to bring Ozzy Osbourne and Zakk Wylde with you so you will all

be witnesses to the new order of doing things.

But be forewarned Rob. If you don't show up or get in touch with Chief Crazy

Captain Christo, you're going to lose out to another Director named Grant Heslov,

in the immortal words of Little Nicky, “ he's no George Clooney... but he hangs out

with him” Chief Crazy Captain Christo also met Fred Savage from The Wonder Years.

Now who do you think would do a better job. A Zombie or a Savage. I thought so Rob.

Just show up in Omaha in July of 2010. The screenplay will be completely finished by then.

Oh and one last thing Rob. Chief Crazy Captain Christo has informed me ,The Great

Pumpkin, that once you see the screenplay, you will flip out completely. It is your

Dream Movie that Chief Crazy Captain Christo says, Not only will I give the movie

rights to Mr. Zombie, but I will also organize a fundraiser the likes the World has never

seen. It involves the present day President of the United States and his team of Professional

All- Stars ( including Michael Jordan) vs the Team of Zombies ( thirteen of the finest Rock

and Roll game changers in a game played with Special Rules only Chief Crazy Captain Christo knows.

The names for these two teams are also confidential to be released only to you Rob.

This is what is called in the business, Trust is Earned and Rob you have Earned it.

Chief Crazy Captain Christo also wants to say Thank you for your Inspiring Theme Songs to life!

So there you have it in a nutshell Rob Zombie. July 2010 Stay tuned. This is

The Great Pumpkin and This has been The First in a Series of “ The Great Pumpkin

Letters” coming soon to be played out for real! Oh and ah Rob, Chief Crazy Captain Christo

in no uncertain terms scolded me for calling you Mr. Z. He said, “ Great Pumpkin, even you

shall call him Dr. Z . for every great director is a doctor at heart bringing films to life!”

P.S. Hey Rob one last thing. I realize the WHO rocked balls at the half time show in Miami,
but I think you and Zakk and all your buddies should ROCK BALLS in Dallas next year for Dimebag and Stevie Ray Vaugn. What say you ROB ZOMBIE?! Now that would truly be a
Super Sunday!!

Christo Strom is the website owner of www.unitetwosites.com
He is currently working on a new site that will be a membership site for a new Art , Music and Movie Studio being built in July 2010

Dimebag's Black Tooth Grin

2010-02-05T05:16:00.003-06:00

February 5th 2010

Happy Birthday to Fred
This next pumpkin letter was written I think subconsciously for this day.
It is a vision I had (DREAM VISION!!:)Last year so Fred Happy birthday Enjoy!

Dimebag's Black Tooth Grin- An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

Chief Crazy Captain Christo is a character in a “Screen” play being written in Minnesota.

In honor of Darrell Abbott, a short narrative from Chief Crazy Captain Christo has begun.

We interrupt the conversation already in progress...

....C.C.C.Christo-” By order of The Great Pumpkin, all adults over the age of 21, are required by Halloween Night to prepare a Black Tooth Grin pumpkin ( no alcohol please and thank you!) to be seen by all the children on Trick or Treat Night. A lot of pumpkins are relying on you so don't disappoint The Great Pumpkin. The Great One has not been himself as of late so Cheer Him UP!”

A quiet hush spread quickly throughout the land, including Texas, where it is rumored even George W. Bush ( in a league of his own) was witnessed by plenty to be carving an exquisite Black Tooth Grinned pumpkin in honor of The DIME. Through the magic of eavesdropping, we heard ol Number 43 say, “ ....well I guess I can honor an ol Texas native whose heart was as big as Texas. Black Tooth Grin eh? Yeah, well he showed a lot of PRIDE in his DAMAGEPLAN. The least I can do is to follow The Great Pumpkin's orders.”

Later that same day the wind blew a piece of orange construction paper and all it had on it was a date in all BLACK letters. President GWB #43 looked at the paper and smiled. He was invited to meet with Chief Crazy Captain Christo. Because there in all black letters were the words:

“Chief Crazy Captain Christo cordially invites you to throw up the First jump ball in The Game Heard Round the World. Dates to be announced in the year 2010. BE like Helen BEE READY! And bring your BLACK TOOTH GRIN for the DIME”

Chief Crazy Captain Christo then remembered the time. Fourty Four expletives were seen exiting his mouth as if he were late for a very important date. C.C.C.Christo had better prepare for the years to come because a lot of work is still needed to be done. Tangled up in a Blu-ish haze of despair, the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo raised his hands and declared.

“ I have not yet begun to Fright “ Left out are more expletives. Halloween is a special night indeed so with a Black Tooth Grin and a little elbow grease and a new workout regiment only known to The Good C.C.C.Christo, a plan is emerging.

Chief Crazy Captain Christo then fell asleep for the span of seven minutes. He woke up shaking like a leaf and wrote down everything he could remember about The Black Tooth Grin visitation.

He still doesn't know why he was visited by such a CALM and TRUSTING SOUL.

Word for word C.C.C.Christo wrote down from the visit:

“This is where the music remains focused and loud. If you want to soar with eagles or jam with angels or whatever it is you want to do, dream big. I'm not going to promise anyone anything anymore.

All bets are off! The time has come to take the Bull by the Horns and build the GREATEST PLACE on EARTH. We see what you are doing and we love it! We all agree who you are building the stadium for and the reason behind it is magnificent. Just remember, when the time comes for you to take the stage, Full Speed Ahead OK Chief Crazy Captain Christo. We are all on your side for this ONE!. And

lastly, I got one question for ya. Ok Chief here it is: there's this being up here that no one can make heads or tails of who looks for all intensive purposes to be carrying the letter Y. He will not let anyone near to ask Y. At least I think he's a he! All that anyone can make out is a GRRRRR! And a close but no SEE GAR. Perhaps you might know who this is because he's scaring the hell out of everyone. Whoap Gotta Go now. We're pulling for you remember Full Speed Ahead.” The last thing Chief Crazy Captain Christo heard was “ Hey Black Tooth Grinner, I loved Hockey!”

When he finally woke up shaken but not stirred, Chief Crazy Captain Christo saw completely what must be done. With no time to lose, he headed for the stage door. A crowd was waiting and the crowd was full of Rich people. None of whom would ever be the same. The performance you have all been waiting for......Stay tuned! This has been another installment of The Great Pumpkin Letters.

Christo Strom is the website owner of www.unitetwosites.com
He is currently working on a new site that will be a membership site for a new Art , Music and Movie Studio being built in July 2010

Bert Blyleven 2010: An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

2010-02-04T05:16:00.005-06:00

February Fourth 2010

This next selection from The Great Pumkin Letters Collection is intended to be humorous

with a serious ending. Please be prepared for some crazy humor!!!

Bert Blyleven 2010: Circle Me Sure Bert: An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

Chief Crazy Captain Christo was recently seen discussing plans with a former Major League pitcher who was born in the Netherlands. Since this pitcher could never grow up to be President of the United States, he became focused on the next best thing in his mind. You see Bert Blyleven was destined for greatness as a bad ass pitcher in the Major League Baseball juggernaut known as the MLB. But lately Mr. Blyleven has been passed over by voters for The HALL of FAME! So, in his own inimitable style, Chief Crazy Captain Christo called a ROUND TABLE discussion group together and it was unanimous. After the discussion, Chief Crazy Captain Christo was voted to go and tell Bert Blyleven the Good and the Bad News along with the ugly TRUTH.

For this conversation that will take place in the new Twins stadium sometime between the years of 2011 and 2013 ( filmed by Rob Zombie!) Chief Crazy Captain Christo is disguised as the O-R ange Catcher in the Buff or CA-BU and Bert Blyleven is the Pitcher on the Mound or CHER-MOUND

To set up the scene for Rob Zombie, Bert Blyleven is throwing out the first pitch at the first World Series game ever played at the Twins stadium. As the crowd looks on in horror, Bert Blyleven winds up like he was playing for real and throws a worm burner to Chief Crazy Captain Christo. Only Chief Crazy Captain Christo wasn't paying attention. You see the new score board just happened to be playing the provocative dance from Penelope Cruz from the movie NINE. So naturally Chief Crazy Captain Christo's thoughts were on CLOUD NINE. The ball that Bert Blyleven threw hit Chief Crazy Captain Christo in the privates and after nine minutes of extreme discomfort, we pick up the conversation Enjoy!

CHER-MOUND-” I thought you said you could catch anything. What ( Rob Zombies song Thumpin in the Background) I say What was wrong with that pitch.”

CA-BU-” Hey I was distracted by a Pair a Cruz's ...”

CHER-MOUND-” You're a disgrace to the sport of baseball. Look at you, you're naked, save the mask and the catcher's mitt and the chest protector and the spikes. On top of that, you just got beaned by my curveball in front of the first World Series crowd ever to see a World Series game at the new Twins stadium and a huge audience watching on FOX SPORTS Network. You are going to make the Blooper Reels tonight buddy. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!!!!”

Chief Crazy Captain Christo stands up, dusts himself off and asks Rob Zombie for the microphone.

Mr. Zombie, barely able to pick himself up because he was laughing so hard he fell back in his electric directors chair, hands the microphone ( mega-phone you can choose whichever) over to Chief Crazy Captain Christo who is standing and bleeding on home plate.

CA-BU-” Circle me Sure Bert. Circle me right now. Go ahead and laugh all you want. Laughter is good for the soul and good for your heart. You got a heart don't ya Mr. Blyleven? As I stand here today bleedin on home plate because I got beaned in the nuts by your worm burner, let me tell you something. Here you are angry or whatever that you didn't get voted in to the Hall of Fame. Well BOO

HOO HOO Bert. Meanwhile, the real people who would love to come work for you and your new awesome business are unemployed right now because YOU Bert Blyleven are too YELLOW to take your eyes off the Hall of Fame and go to work for something GREATER THAN YOURSELF. No Bert if you do nothing after the Greatest speech a Bleeding man ever gave than you don't deserve to go to the Hall. Take my advice on this one Bert. You know your slogan Circle Me Bert? To get into Heaven, which is really quite rewarding really, you must be GREAT like the pumpkin. You must give of yourself to others because others will give to you. They will work their asses off to make sure this works. I have SEVEN GOOD DEEDS reserved for you and your team if you take me up on this offer.

But you must take action Bert. And then you will truly deserve to be in the Hall of Fame of Heaven. Canton Ohio can take a back seat Bert. I am Chief Crazy Captain Christo and I must go now because I have spoken my lines and my nuts are killing me. Ice please.”

As Chief Crazy Captain Christo was walking out of the infield a chant of Circle Me SURE BET erupted into a refreshing dessert. Bert Blyleven got his Seventy five Flavors but remembered that he could not unveil his flavors until Chief Crazy Captain Christo gives him the Green Light. So for all you Twins fans out there, get behind you team. After all, the Great Pumpkin is a Twins fan! And this is a Twins Terror Story. This has been another edition of the Great Pumpkin Letters. Stay tuned for more in 2010!

Christo Strom is the website owner of www.unitetwosites.com
He is currently working on a new site that will be a membership site for a new Art , Music and Movie Studio being built in July 2010

Shakira 2010 : An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

2010-02-03T05:09:00.000-06:00

February 3, 2010

Happy Belated Birthday to Shakira. Missed it by that much ( yesterday:)

Shakira: S.I. Shakira's Agree Pigpen's A Pear- An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

Chief Crazy Captain Christo was on the second leg of his journey around the world when his S- Crew was getting tired. They were all complaining that they had been at sea for three days and needed to pick up some honey from the Southern Bear Islands. So without going into a long drawn out worn out and boring story of Mutiny, the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo slowly brought his wooden Dinghy Anada Know into the nearest port. The Southern Port of Yallaposies or better known as the SPY Channel. He rocked his vessel into port safely and tied it off to the A.P. Pier. And for those who are new to The Great Pumpkin Letters, the A.P. Pier is the first Pier to the left of the Stern Bow.

So with his Dinghy Anada Know safely docked, the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo bellowed a fierce warning to his S- Crew.

C.C.C.Christo: “ If I see anyone leave the Anada Know, it will be the last time you will ever see the CCCC.......”

But the words just left him high and dry. The crew knew what he meant. They all stayed on board for fear of the Rat-Hog. The Rat-Hog is a new character to be introduced in Bob Weir's Pumpkin Letter later in 2010. So back to the story at hand. The Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo had not been gone for more than a minute and a half. That is one hundred and thirty seconds for those of you who are counting. Give or take forty seconds! Anyway, the Chief went into a rather seedy bar called She's Loco Lobo. He went straight up to the bar and asked the bartender for some honey for his crew. The bartender pointed in the direction of the stage and a sweet temptress was performing her hit She-Wolf. Of course. It was none other than Shakira. The Chief Crazy Captain Christo went into Hyper Drive ( author's note HD) and quickly disguised himself as the O-Range Boo Boo Boo G Man. Shakira took one look at him and started laughing so hard she had to run off the stage.

Now for the conversation between Shakira and Chief Crazy Captain Christo that took place backstage. Shakira's name has been changed to Si' Si' Omahog. Chief Crazy Captain Christo' name has been changed to P. A. Sugaree ( Pigpen Alfamont Sugaree). Enjoy!

Si' Si' Omahog- “ Chief Crazy Captain Christo that has got to be the funniest get up you have ever put on for me. I was laughing so hard I had to run off the stage or I would have peed in my stilettos.”

P.A. Sugaree:” Nice try Shakira but my S- Crew needs some honey for the extended stay on the Anada Know. Do you know where on the island I can scrounge some honey up?”

Si” Si” Omahog-” Crazy Loco Captain, where you can always find it. At my Grandma's Shack on Shamrock Circle Lane, across the Mountain Slide and through the lighted tunnel. C'mon, I will show you.”

Shakira took Chief Crazy Captain Christo's blistered hand and smiled. In a nano-second they were at Grandma's Shack and you could tell because it had a sign out front that in bright O-Range letters said Shack Here A and there was a big O-Range X after the A. So without stopping to ask for directions because they were already there, Shakira introduced Chief Crazy Captain Christo to his Grandma.

Si' Si' Omahog- “ Gramms, this is Chief Crazy Captain Christo. His S-Crew on board the Anada Know need some honey for their treacherous trip around the world for Eighty Daisies. Would you mind giving him your honey from the honey jar”

Smiling the sweetest smile a Grandma could ever smile, Grandma Shaka Shakira reached for her everflowing jar of Island Honey and without saying a word handed it to Chief Crazy Captain Christo.

P.A. Sugaree: “ Gra See Az! The S- Crew will be delightfully giddy on board the Anada Know.”

Chief Crazy Captain Christo thanked Shakira and reached in his trousers and pulled out an O-Range P. Fearing it was not a large enough P for Shakira he pulled out an O-Range H in the shape of an EAR.

Si' Si' Omahog: “ Chief Crazy Captain Christo, Why are you giving me an O-Range P and and O-Range H in the shape of an EAR.

P.A. Sugaree: I am so glad you asked me that Shakira so I will tell you. When I took the P OUT you were sad that that was all I was giving you. When I took the H AND formed it like an EAR, you smiled but you still looked at me kind of strange. So when you put the P and the H together in the exact order what do you get?”

Si' Si' Omahog: “ A PEAR?”

P.A. Sugaree: “ No not exactly. I'll explain everything on July 9^th 2010 in Omaha Nebraska. Would you be so kind as to appear with me on stage to judge a contest for a little girl in America?”

Si' Si' Omahog: “ You want me to appear in Nebraska? Aye La Bamba Captain Christo! Who else will be appearing?”

But before Shakira could hear what Chief Crazy Captain Christo said, he had vanished to his vessel The Anada Know. Stay tuned South America! Chief Crazy Captain Christo is on a Sugaree High so get ready for some Trick or Treating down south! This has been another edition of The Great Pumpkin Letters. Much more to come in 2010 and beyond.

Christo Strom is the website owner of www.unitetwosites.com
He is currently working on a new site that will be a membership site for a new Art , Music and Movie Studio being built in July 2010

Duane "DOG" Chapman

2010-02-02T05:22:00.000-06:00

Ground Dog Day February 2nd 2010
To honor the DOG on his day, I thought you might like a little humor so enjoy!

Snoopy Part 1 of 7: The Dog Chapman Bowl- An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

Chief Crazy Captain Christo was reminiscing the other day and came up with a brilliant plan.

While watching Snoopy carrying his dog bowl in his mouth, the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo

shrieked out loud,

“ Eureka, a golden nugget is passing my way. Watch out for Salty Sea Dog Legs and pay attention Tiger Pawns, er I mean Prawns,”

He got on the Hot Line and called up none other than Dog Chapman, the WORLD famous BOUNTY HUNTER. But the line was busy. Ah, a lawman's work is always busy. So Chief Crazy Captain Christo thought,

“ HMMM, if I can't get a hold of the Dog maybe I will bring the BOWL to the Dog!”

So with the immortal courage of a confident carpet cleaner, the Good Chief set out to find Dog.

Within 45 nanoseconds he found the Dog hot on the chase of another Meth addict and let the Dog have his day. After the arrest was complete, Chief Crazy Captain Christo disguised himself. Instead of the normal O-Range Blob of Light, he disguised himself as a PERFECT O-Range BOWL. To describe the O-Range Bowl would not do it justice but I will try anyway, Here is the description:

Like an almost perfect circle, it is made of all wood. On the top of the bowl is coping where skateboarders do the grinding ( sparks fly people!) There is always a beautiful scent of a fine ash and with smoke billowing over the top from barbecuing down below. On this particular day, the bowl was smokin hot. I now bring you the exact words from Dog Chapman and his wife Beth. Their names have been changed here to McDog and McBeth to protect their privacy.

McDog:” Hey Beth, where did that bowl come from?”

McBeth:” I don't know but I think Johnny B. Garcia is hiding in there. Let's go check it out Dog!”

McDog:” Cover me Beth. I'm goin in. Keep the cameras rolling. I've never seen anything like this.

Wow wee! What a bowl!”

As the two awesome bounty hunters peeked inside the O-Range Bowl, they were mesmerized by what they saw. Down at the bottom of the bowl, where the smoke was originating, a lone figure wearing an O-Range chef's apron and one O-Range sock was turning a rack of lamb on his weber grill.

This is where the introduction of the most famous character of all time comes into play. Pay attention here folks, it is the character you wish you could be but you don't have the b***s or no balls as the case may be. Listen and learn.

McDog was the first to draw his weapon.

McDog: “ Hey Bra! We got you surrounded. Give it up or we will taser you right here in your O-Range Bowl”

McBeth:” Get him Dog!”

But the tasers had no effect whatsoever on this now incensed character played by Chief Crazy Captain Christo. Now for the moment you have all been waiting for, the introduction of ZING.

Zing can always be seen at a barbecue listening to Rob Zombie's What? Thumpin in the background.

Zing is what you could call the Over Delivery Guy or O.D.G for those who like to shorten descriptions.

Even though the tasers had no effect, he didn't want to hurt McDog or McBeth's FEELINGS ( nothing more than FEELINGS) so he did what Zing does best. It hurts to describe this but here goes. Zing did the Electrifried Crappy Flop that went on for exactly three minutes and thirty three seconds. After the performance of a lifetime, Zing casually got up and gave McDog and McBeth a lesson they will never forget. Here is what Zing said.

ZING “ Must you always prove you are the TOP Dog. I was preparing a wonderful world of delightful dishes and you have to come in an taser me on the spot. Dog and Beth, I just wanted to say Thank You for all your hard work and was going to surprise you with a welcome home Dog and Beth party with my famous rack of Lamb that tastes divine but I guess you will have to wait till the Eighth letter I write. Now if you will forgive me I have six more Snoopy letters to write. With that Zing and his O-Range Bowl vanished into thin air. Stay tuned for the next six Snoopy versions of The Great Pumpkin Letters.

Sheri Moon Zombie

2010-02-01T04:52:00.000-06:00